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Old October 2nd, 2006, 05:58 PM
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Default How many of you know what FOD meant before joining these

How many of you know what FOD meant before joining these boards?
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Old October 2nd, 2006, 11:54 PM
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I did not, I kept thinking they were trying to spell food and left out a letter since so much about cruising revolves around eating.

I'm a gruff construction guy and do NOT even remotely fit the stereotype and I cringed when I found out what it meant because I couldn't help but picture Friends of Dorothy as a bunch of nelly old queens gathered around swapping Hollywood gossip. A scene from a movie I saw came to mind. It was with the late Jack Lemmon that featured a marching band in a gay pride parade where everyone was wearing that same dress that Dorothy wore.

This isn't the dark ages, is there really any reason why they can't simply say, "Tonight at 7:00 in the Atrium Bar there will be a meet n greet for gays and lesbians"?

~Buzz
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Old October 3rd, 2006, 12:11 AM
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Buzz,

"Friend of Dorothy" is a phrase meaning a "gay" person. It can be said in public without anyone really knowing what you are talking about, so therefore, non-confrontational. For example, you are walking through a mall and you and your lover both see a big hunk that gives you both that "second look"! Your lover turns to you and says, "I think he is a friend of Dorothy's." You do not have to be concerned about some soccer mom giving you that horrified look as she covers her childrens' ears. It is a sort of code that can be used by gay people without any pesky straight people getting offended. When we see a potential lesbian on the street, our comment is "I think she is one of those Beirut Girls! (e.g., Lebanese) Again, totally nonconfrontational.

We learned about FOD on a cruise in the Caribbean on Norweigan Cruise Lines. We were 2 couples and we met another gay couple from Atlanta. We had not been paying attention to the meetings and missed the obvious reference. They told us about it and that they had discovered this on CruiseMates.Com. We met alot of really kewl and nice people at these functions. The Friends of Bill W don't want people to harrass them for being alcoholics. We don't want any loonies messing with our "get-together" meetings either.

Don't cringe anymore. It really won't compromise your masculinity.

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Old October 3rd, 2006, 12:48 PM
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Funny thing, the first time I saw FOD on a cruise scheduel I said to my partner, "Wow, that's what we used to call gay guys back in the old days!"

So, we didn't go, cause we figured it was something else.

I would much prefer GLBT and friends. Jimbo
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Old October 3rd, 2006, 10:25 PM
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Default You thought you didn't know what FOD meant...check this out!

I remember being on the Millineum and going to a FOD and one guy walked in and has horrified...not because he was around gay folks. But he was horrified that we all fell off the wagon!!!

He was looking for the Friends of Bill W meeting and someone told him that there was a Friends of Dorothy meeting going on and thought Friends of Dorothy was the cruise term for an AA meeting.

He ended up staying and became our "straight" guy mascot the whole cruise.
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Old October 4th, 2006, 03:06 PM
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We are somewhat taken back that the expression "Friends Of Dorothy" was new to so many people, not just we sea cruisers.

We have been using this expression to denote a gay person in a straight gathering since the 70's-80's. When in mixed company, the answers to the question of "are you a Friend Of Dorothy" vary from, "yes, but not tonight" to "honey, check out my ruby slippers" or, when your gaydar wasn't on full power, "Dorothy who?"

That is why we are advocates of keeping the term "Friends Of Dorothy" for ship gatherings instead of half the alphabet.
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Old October 4th, 2006, 09:26 PM
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It's an old, old expression used as a code before we "were legal". I now think it's quite quaint.

What's of interest is that I just downloaded the daily schedule for our Mex Riv cruise at the end of the month. And they list the friends of Bill W meetings. I hadn't heard that in ages. Here in CA we call it AA or 12 step. I suppose the middle american culture still operates circa 1955.

"Oh, Ward! How's the Beaver?"
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Old November 21st, 2006, 03:51 PM
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Default On a roll today

Seems like I am bringing some dead topics back to life today...

I am SOOOOO MAD. I have been on 6 cruises and have often seen Friends of Dorothy on the daily papers. I have always wondered what it was but did not want to show up to something and feel awkward. Go figure. Last night, I was reading these boards and then it hit me in the head. So.. I feel like an idiot now. lol. I have always wished that I could meet other gay people on the cruises I have been on and now I know that there were meetings for us and I missed out! Ughhh it makes me so angry... lol.

Also, I think on all mainstream cruises that when you request your dining time and any dining preferences, that you should be able to use the FOD and they should match you with other FOD. They already match people based on age group and whether or not you have children. It would be great to be able to sit with other people like us some times too.
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Old November 21st, 2006, 04:24 PM
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Lynn and I cruised on the Holland America Maasdam on October 7-17, 2006 from Montreal to Norfolk, Virginia. They had two FOD luncheons, and we were the only two who attended. Oh well, it certainly was not the party cruise group. The disco was absolutely abandoned every night. Maybe we'll have better luck on more exciting cruise destinations.

Marc Spurlock
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Old November 22nd, 2006, 09:16 AM
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We seem to forget that the word “Gay? was at one time a code word to denote one’s homosexuality. “Is he/she/gay?? Well now, who in the whole world does not know the term and meaning of the word Gay? It is used in everyday conversation and in some circumstances to replace the word homosexual, in which many people find difficulty in its use.

We could say Gay Friends Of Dorothy but what of those who are not gay but who enjoy socializing with us? Friends of Dorothy is all encompassing.
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