Question From A Straight Older Woman to Gay and Lesbians
Don't know if this is the proper place to write, but how does the gay community feel befriending on cruises "straight' people".. We've had the opportunity to befriend Triton on another cruise and has since been adopted by his as his "mother".. In my own circle of friends I do know and adore a lesbian couple, but meet few on cruises. Gay men seem to hang around together and several I've met on our last cruise brought their mothers along which I thought was sweet. On the whole...do you avoid us or just stay with Friends of Dorothy. This older woman wants some feedback..
My partner and I met a straight couple on a cruise about 6 years ago and since that time we have become the best of friends. Not only do we cruise a couple of times a year together we also talk on the phone almost daily. We also do one land based trip per year and then take turns visiting each other's homes which are about 200 miles apart.
We also have another couple here in our town that we cruise with quite often and also a single traveler that always wants to go along. On top of that we have another friend that lives in a neighboring city that cruises with us whenever she can.
When you meet people on a cruise at least you have one common element - the love of cruising and traveling.
People being straight, gay or whatever doesn't matter. To us, meeting people who are nice and who you have something in common with is a lot better than trying to put people in category and only judging them by that one thing.
Hopefully we will meet on a cruise some day because I am sure you would be a good person to know.
Jerry.. that is the nicest answer.. Hopefully Triton and his partner are reading this.. We met before our cruise last September and it's been a close friendship.. I'm considered their Jewish Mother..lol..Right now trying to talk them both into joining us from another t/a in November.Now, if I can only talk one of them into proposing...lol yes, hopefully we'll meet up one day..thank you for the sweet response.
Well, it may be different for us, because we live in Montreal and well... we really see very little discrimination at all in our everyday lives.
We see people as couples, with no difference between them being Gay, Straight or Lesbian. Most of our friends are couples but honestly, I don't think any of them are Gay or Lesbian.
We have met many couples on the ships over the years. I can honestly say that we have had a lot of fun with all of them, no matter what orientation they are and I think many of them have had fun with us because they have asked us if we want to cruise with them again.... thinking about it, all the straight couples are the ones that want to cruise with us again... never really thought about that before. (Maybe something is wrong... why don't G/L couples like us?)
We have cruised with some of our friends and even my aunt and uncle. We're just there to have fun, play games, travel and enjoy. Never really think much about anything other than enjoying ourselves, honestly.
The most fun my partner & I ever had on a ship was on a T-A crossing on QM2. The "Name That Tune" trivia contest in the Royal Theatre consisted of a different "theme" every day of the crossing. (Opera, Movie Music, Broadway Show Tunes, etc.) After winning the contest on the first 2 days, LOTS of straight couples began begging us to be 'on their team'. It grew to be a big joke with the Cruise Director who was hosting the event. He even had to begin limiting the size of teams, as everyone claimed to be on "Ken & Ray's" team. We made a lot of great friends (all straight) and love them to this day. In fact, the most loyal friends we've made onboard ships were all straight. For the most part, "people are people" & The Golden Rule works! It's that simple.
At 55 & 60, I doubt I'll ever call you "Mom", but I hope to meet you someday and at least gain a new "Sister"!!
Surprise of surprises..yes, we could b e on the same team.. that is our love..musical theatre.. and i mean we go waaaay back..Ken and Ray.. we would make a "killer" team..and one of you is very close to calling me Mom. Age is only a number..and I think "our guys" are in their mid forties.. the ones that are calling us Mom and Pop on our cruise next week..but it doesn't matter..I think we share something..friendship .[/list]
I am one of the folks just itching for the day when you don't even have to ask a question about someone's sexuality on a cruise, or anywhere else for that matter. 'Til then, I think your range of acceptance of straights among gays is as diverse as gays among straights. This is to say, there's much room for improvement. I know Craig and I avoided a pure gay cruise because we both find it very limiting to keep putting ourselves into that one category. On the other hand, I live in constant fear of being myself in public, not because I am ashamed, but because I never know which Nutcase is going to have a conniption fit if I'm holding hands with the man I love. So, in the case of our cruise in June, I find myself doubly disappointed that neither gay nor straight people have responded to my post - to date, anyway. Oh well. I learned long ago that life is what I make it, and if I wait for my expectations to be realized, I'm going to be disappointed. I dunno. I like to rant on the 'net when I'm bored, so maybe this doesn't even answer your question. Fact of the matter is, I would love to have cruise friends, gay or straight, for future departures. Take care!
Hi Parrot Mom,
I don't know that there is any one answer to your inquiry and I really think it depends on who you ask. My partner and I have been on several cruises and met some really great people, both straight and gay with whom we have remained friends over the years.
While I can't speak for the Lesbian community I think many of us are just open to meeting fun and interesting people regardless of sexual orientation!
Thanks!
The purpose of a Friends Of Dorothy gathering is to avoid discrimination. We are subjected to it everywhere including on cruise ships. To have fellow tablemates get up and leave the table when it becomes known that we are a gay couple, for 35 years I may add, and they seek the maitre d' to obtain another table. Who needs this? So we seek out our own kind knowing that we will not be treated this way by each other.
That said, and being on the receiving end of this discrimination, we are not ones to practice discrimination. When straight people accept us for who we are, we can and do socialize. We personally have a long list of fellow passengers who we continue to communicate with, the majority of whom are straight. Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. When we can all practice this there will be no reason to have a Friends Of Doroty gathering.
So sorry you have had that experience on a cruise ship.. or anywhere else for that matter. On the Pacific Princess which we disembarked yesterday a.m. I actually only found one notice for FOD. On this trip we found some people who refused to believe we were not Christians..and would have liked to have converted us..lol.. Boy,, did they have the wrong people. Our "adopted" sons were on the cruise with us, we spent as much time together as we wanted. I do know that one of them will be writing a devastating review of this experience with Princess and our cruise together..After having cruised on another line together our expectations were dashed.. Maybe because we are white, Democratic, liberals we would never be offended. To tell you the truth I think of some of the passengers on this particular cruise knew that we were not Christians perhaps we would have been shunted aside..flaming liberals and Jewish..WOW..
Re: Question From A Straight Older Woman to Gay and Lesbians
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parrot Mom
On the whole...do you avoid us or just stay with Friends of Dorothy. This older woman wants some feedback..
My husband (California you know 8) )and I don't normally do the FOD meetings.. we aren't the type to "hunt" out others to do things with..
we typically dine at a table for two.. however that is not to say we don't have fun with others.. on several cruises we have participated in a number of private excursions with others and even taken group cruises with a majority of hetero couples.. we on the other hand, we would most likely would never high occupancy gay cruise..(only because we aren't into "that scene") let me be clear we were when we were 25ish... but not now.. that maybe the same reason we didn't enjoy Carnival.. too much parting..but I digress
Tables for two without being in the middle of six or eight seaters was impossible on the first seating of our cruise..and second seating for our "sons" was not an option..
Tables for two without being in the middle of six or eight seaters was impossible on the first seating of our cruise..and second seating for our "sons" was not an option..
That is a shame... for us a table for two is a deal breaker..another reason we like Celebrity..
QUOTE FROM PARROT MOM: "So sorry you have had that experience on a cruise ship.. or anywhere else for that matter. On the Pacific Princess which we disembarked yesterday a.m. I actually only found one notice for FOD. On this trip we found some people who refused to believe we were not Christians..and would have liked to have converted us..lol.. Boy,, did they have the wrong people. Our "adopted" sons were on the cruise with us, we spent as much time together as we wanted. I do know that one of them will be writing a devastating review of this experience with Princess and our cruise together..After having cruised on another line together our expectations were dashed.. Maybe because we are white, Democratic, liberals we would never be offended. To tell you the truth I think of some of the passengers on this particular cruise knew that we were not Christians perhaps we would have been shunted aside..flaming liberals and Jewish..WOW.. "
Parrot Mom, between this post and the earlier one about musical theatre, I think we may have been separated at birth!! We love you already. Let's cruise together soon!!! (We just booked Bangkok to Beijing, March '10, on Diamond Princess...... and we have a sofa bed with your name on it!! ). Where do you live? We'll pick ya up!
Gee Thanks..already being encouraged and a campaign is on for u s to do a 16 day Panama Canal with our "sons"..in September. As for the musical theatre we live outside of Boston and have seen the original Sound of Music, Paint Your Wagon, just about all of Sondheim pre-Broadway..Will be seeing Mandy Patankin again in concert Thursday night, Grey Ladies and the Jerry Springer. a dear friend doing her Judy Garland show and one more straight play I think whose name I've forgotten..We saw Sonheim in a lecture here in Boston (sold out) and it was sold out. Did you know his mentor was Oscar Hammerstein.. they were neighbors in PA when he was a child? Actually saw Tommy Tune apologize to an audience for a horrible show with Madelyn KAHN.. The 2oth Century...then it went on to Broadway and won a Tony..lol On our last cruise we sat with an elderly gentlemen from Texas (eccentric looking) who loved musical theatre and couldnt wait to sit with us and talk theatre. He and his wife put on Brigadoon somewhere in Texas..and we compared notes.. Have even gone to London to see plays.. Elaine Page in Sunset Boulevard to start off..yep..we'd have a ball. One of my "son" will be reading this and I'm sure he's chuckling like crazy
Tables for two without being in the middle of six or eight seaters was impossible on the first seating of our cruise..and second seating for our "sons" was not an option..
That is a shame... for us a table for two is a deal breaker..another reason we like Celebrity..
Hi Joey and David. We are in California also. My patner and I were on the cruise with Parrot Mom / Pop. Although we booked our cruise months in advance, table for 2 preference was given to couples who had booked the first 2-week leg. While more than half the ship boarded for the second 2-week leg (which was a reverse of the first itinerary) we were out of luck. We witnessed other passengers who were higher on the waitlist for a table for 2, 1st seating get their request. I hate to say it, but tend to think the Maitre'D was homo-phobe. Just didn't feel right when we approached him.
Like you guys, we always request (and receive) a table for 2. We are tried and true Celebrity passengers and the Amazon cruise which we just disembarked from was our first (and last) Princess cruise. We have decided to stick with Celebrity...won't even go into the service factor (on Parrot Mom's thread).
[color=#444444]On my last cruise, I was with another gay friend, but we are not a couple. They put us at a seating that caused us to visit with the maitre 'd to request a change, and he put us with a table of women. Eight other women! I figured it was his way to get revenge for making him work extra... just put all the girls together!
I don't really feel it was necessary to announce my sexuality, and I also don't feel it is necessary to interject my personal life into another person's life or cruise experience, so I generally don't make an issue out of it. But I don't act differently than normally, nor do I censor myself.
I could tell at least a few of them were aware enough to figure it out... and I wish they just would have been comfortable enough to ask, "are you a couple or just friends?" or make reference to something gay and we would have responded. It certainly is nothing we would have been ashamed of... but I understand that they may have thought we might be so deeply in the closet we would have denied it. Such is the world many live in.
I am really comfortable being simply conversational about it. When people have a question, be sophisticated enough to find a way to ask! I think most gay or lesbians are proud or comfortable enough to handle a conversation honestly. I think anyone would rather just have a natural, friendly conversation rather than spend the whole cruise dancing around the subject.
If someone is closeted, they will clam up.
But as your story and words so eloquently prove to us all... when there is honesty between new friends, they stand a much better chance of becoming old friends.
Being gay does not identify me as a person... but it is a part of my life and existence on this earth, and I would rather enjoy sharing and being myself with my cruise companions. Being on a cruise is a great time for straight and gay to mix, become friends, and learn from each other. We all have bridges to cross, and travel can be a broadening experience in so many ways.
Thanks for once again being able to address a subject in an easy, plain, non-judgmental way, just I am sure, as you did when meeting your new gay friends. I'd love to cruise with more people like you anytime....
__________________
Always up for a chat about cruising or Baja Mexico: Kenito@BajaGay.com The BajaBoyz second cruise: Carnival Spirit to Mexican Riviera.
This is an interesting subject! Kelli and I have gay friends that we stood up with in for there civil union. All four of us live in Wisconsin and it was an honor to have them ask us to stand up w/them while we were on vacation out east! Now we are hoping to cruise w/them but they are kind of nervous about how it will go for them on the ship?? We think they are willing to try. Kelli and I are swingers and we have met other's who like the same but our two friends, Randy and Jimmy are our best friends!
My husband and I (we are a male couple) have only been on one previous cruise and we hung out almost exclusively with heterosexual folks on board. In general most gay cruisers do not segregate themselves on board. Of course, single gay folks or couples who don't happen to be holding hands when you interact just look like heterosexuals . If you think fewer than ten percent of the people you're interacting with on board are gay, then you are probably assuming many of the gay people you are talking to are heterosexual.
we are looking forward to our first cruise. With the population of the larger ships like that one we are going to be on (Carnival Splendor).... we thought that the odds would be pretty good that there would be other gay/lesbian singles and couples. And I"m sure there will be.
My partner and I are both men.. and we look forward to meeting lots of new friends of any sexual identity.. and can grow those friendships over time from that chance meeting on the cruise.
I have been on this and a few other forums since booking our cruise (which will be our 20th anniversary) back in Feb. and have found a real live and let live attitude among most of the people I have interacted with on the different forums. I sure hope that is the case once on board.. which I'm sure it will be.
From a gay older man, just my opinion, but on most cruises there aren't that many other gay individuals so we mostly do meet and enjoy the company of the straight travelers. My partner and I try to meet other travelers whomever they may be and on our previous cruises have made many straight acquaintances. Please don't be shy to engage any of us in conversation, just like everyone else, there are people you will like and some, well, luckily you don't have to spend any more time with them.
Parrotmom, I'd just like to say, thanks for that thought-provoking question.
I would also like to say, I have had the pleasure of meeting Joey & David on a group cruise, and the even bigger pleasure of dining with them one night in the specialty restaurant. It was one of the most interesting and pleasurable evenings ever spent in the company of any couple, and not because they were gay, but because they were just two really nice and interesting guys!
My partner and I have been together for almost 35 years and believe it or not, we're still in our fifties! We've been very fortunate to have taken twelve cruises now and one of the big reasons we enjoy them is meeting new people. The majority of our friends are "straight" and we hold them dear. On ship the mixing with other souls at dinner or at the bar only broadens our personal horizons helps tear down stereotypes. It would be an honor to meet you and have a dance or two. Bon voyage!
Our two best friends we met on a 2 week Baltic cruise. And OMG they were straight, lol. Since then we have cruised with them to Alaska twice, South America once, Hawaii once. (...and more to come!
We speak with them on the phone at least once per week and they come to visit us and we them. David and I have very few gay friends. We truly do no discriminate in making friends based on sexual orientation period!
Well, it seems the next cruise we are on 10/18 Equinox to the Holyland I've discovered through "my guys"..is also a gay/lesbian cruise. Anybody on that trip?
Cudos to you ParrotMom!
While we do try to get to the FOD events, we often end up spending more time with straights on board our trips, and even ended up with a young honeymooning couple from Denmark staying at our house after a cruise we all took a few years back!
We've travelled with them several times since, and altho they are back in Denmark, thnx to Skype, we talk often 4 years later....!
We've even had great times with Born Again Christians, who thankfully, were not as hateful and bigoted as so many seem to be now...
Our best friends down here are a straight couple in the neighborhood, even tho we have a very large gay social circle....
Cudos to you ParrotMom!
While we do try to get to the FOD events, we often end up spending more time with straights on board our trips, and even ended up with a young honeymooning couple from Denmark staying at our house after a cruise we all took a few years back!
We've travelled with them several times since, and altho they are back in Denmark, thnx to Skype, we talk often 4 years later....!
We've even had great times with Born Again Christians, who thankfully, were not as hateful and bigoted as so many seem to be now...
Our best friends down here are a straight couple in the neighborhood, even tho we have a very large gay social circle....
As a flaming liberal from Mass. I may have a problem with "Born Again Christians"...or Tea Party people for that matter..
Question From A Straight Older Woman to Gay and Lesbians
So sorry you have had that experience on a cruise ship.. or anywhere else for that matter. On the Pacific Princess which we disembarked yesterday a.m. I actually only found one notice for FOD. On this trip we found some people who refused to believe we were not Christians..and would have liked to have converted us..lol.. Boy,, did they have the wrong people. Our "adopted" sons were on the cruise with us, we spent as much time together as we wanted. I do know that one of them will be writing a devastating review of this experience with Princess and our cruise together..After having cruised on another line together our expectations were dashed.. Maybe because we are white, Democratic, liberals we would never be offended. To tell you the truth I think of some of the passengers on this particular cruise knew that we were not Christians perhaps we would have been shunted aside..flaming liberals and Jewish..WOW.. 
). Where do you live? We'll pick ya up!
. If you think fewer than ten percent of the people you're interacting with on board are gay, then you are probably assuming many of the gay people you are talking to are heterosexual.
Next Cruise=Equinox 10/18/10
Linear Mode
