Has anyone had any success finding a cruise mate as a reault of posting on this or any other internet board?
In my case, I am yet to find a cruise mate, but I have hooked up with several other people on my cruise, whom I was then able to hang out with once I got to the cruise.
PS: I apologize in advance for any typographical or grammatical errors I may make int this post. If you understand my question, I trust that you will just ignore any errors I may have made and just answer the question..... Thx
These boards worked for me! I went on a dream cruise last fall, a 15-day transatlantic with a lady who posted an ad for a cabinmate on an other board. Honestly, it was a bit scarrie for a little while -- not knowning who this person was. But it worked out just fine and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I located a cabin mate on THIS board. Haven't gone on our cruise yet, but I have had "unknown" cabin mates on 2 previous cruises & have remained friends with both. I am fairly easy to get along with, try not to complain in general & keep my stuff on my side of the cabin. I do know that some others have not had enjoyable experiences - so do some homework. I sent a lengthy description of myself, likes etc. as did the person that responded. Hopefully all is well, as this will be a 15 day cruise. A side question - Do straight Men ever look for Male cabin mates??? If not, why not?
I have found several cruise roommates on this board and one other, with varying degrees of success. None of these roommates would I travel with a second time, so this tells you something. The last one was a total disaster. Yes, I will continue to do it again simply because I have no one else to cruise with, but I will tell you that good responses to postings are few and far between.
As for the male-male thing. I am a male, middle aged and I think that for straight middle aged men its harder to hook up two males than it is for two females to hook up or a male and a female to hook up. I think that when you get past college age we are taught by society that men only do "manly" things together like drink beer and watch football or go looking for women (an exageration but you get my point) and anything else makes them "suspect". So men who are past, say their 20's do not necessarily want to be seen seeking a male roommate. Its just not viewed as cool. Its much more acceptable if they seek a female. First ,they want to be seen in the comapny of a female, being seen with a another male raises suspicions and men are uncomfortable with this , ususally. And secondly ,if they are straight and single ,maybe some type of relationship will result if they seek a female. Society has made it ok for two females to travel and be friends and do things together but its much harder for two males to do it and be comfortable with it. (unless of course its a business trip or something of that sort which "legitimizes" their being in one another's company.) Middle aged men are desperatly afraid, usually subconsciously but somethimes overtly, of being branded "gay" which they fear will happen if they hang out socially together. Whether we want to admit it or not, this is a real societal factor. I think thats why there are few ads for straight men seekings straight male roommates for cruises.
For those men not looking for a relationship and are straight, and are middle aged, its REALLY hard to find another straight man to travel with. This has been my expericne. Would like to hear others????
Thanks for the answer to my 2nd question. As a middle aged single female, I find it very difficult to find dance partners / persons of interest on cruises for the reason that single, middle aged males don't/won't room together & the single supplement also keeps many from cruising. In talking to the few men I have found on cruises, their answer is much the same as yours. It is a matter of appearances - esp w/ a ship cabin being one small room since older men who find themselves divorced have no problem sharing a house or apt (at least temporarily). Personally, I could not imagine rooming with someone of the opposite sex that I did not know - far too complicated w/ questions, expectations & possible misunderstandings. Maybe I should start a club for straight men who enjoy going on cruises - then they can use the "group" as their conversational explaination. There already is such a group for women - I belong! Were your "disasters" male or female cabinmates?
I agree TR, it's harder for a man. I've wanted to cruise several times when the wife couldn't go and I asked a few of my buddies but got no takers. I would rather go alone and pay the supplement than take a chance on getting someone I couldn't get along with, or worse yet get a gay man who clandestinely accepts the invitation as a straight man.
LJ, I agree with you about sharing with a stranger of the opposite sex, too many possible complications. I have done it, and did not have that problem, but had others; needless to say I wont do it again. The potential is there for trouble.
And Thomas, thanks for agreeing with me but your answer just proves my point. You are petrified with fear of rooming with a gay man or maybe being perceived as gay if you room with any strange male so you would rather pay the single supplement. That is not an option for everyone as the so called single supplement on a cruise is often twice the price and therfore puts a cruise out of the price range that many of us can afford. I am curious as to why you say "worse yet get a gay man who clandestinely accepts the invitation as a straight man." What is your fear about a gay man? I think this might strike at the heart of every straight man's fear hence his reluctance to even seek a male roommate. As a straight man, if I was looking for a cruise-mate now, I would not mind if they were straight or gay as long as they were intelligent, considerate, flexible, honest and decent. Thats all you can ask for, I am not afraid of gays and as to what others on the ship might think----life is too short to worry about that... Thats my opinion.
I find this thread very interesting. When I first showed my husband, he said there was no way in hell he would ever cruise with a stranger. Women are definitely the more social of the sexes and encounter less problems in this regard. Thomas's point about the difficulties encountered when the spouse doesn't want to cruise is well taken. I am going solo on my first cruise in March as my husband has no desire to go to the caribbean. So where do I post if I want to meet fellow passenger but am not in the market for romance?
How many of us how found ourselves victimized by the amorous advances of someone (of either sex) who deliberately chooses to misunderstand our intentions? I certainly don't think of Thomas's statement as being anti-gay. Seems like no one can express an honest opinion anymore unless it is politically correct.
I did not say Thomas was "anti-gay". I said he was afraid of gays or the whole idea that someone might perceive him as gay. What does he think a gay person would do to him anyway? I think that most men feel the same way. Thats why men dont want to share with other men. Thats all I was saying. Being politically correct has nothing to do with it. I am glad Thomas was honest; it proves my original point.
"I would not mind if they were straight or gay as long as they were intelligent, considerate, flexible, honest and decent.".....TR
I don't disagree with that. But you don't know if they are that way going into it. And for me, I would rather not take a chance on rooming with someone I didn't get along with to save the single supplement. I would rather pay the extra to share a room with someone I got along with, me!
splash, email me with the name of the ship))))))))))))))))))))))) i cruise with my daughtere and we look nothing alike, i think people think we a gay lol, im thinking about haveing tshirts made up that say, im her mom, and shes my mom. i didnt think any thing about it the first cruise, only on the seconded when introduced, someone said, oh... shes your daughter))))) any males in the 60's going on jubilee 1/31? we will be the two that "look" gay lol))))))))))))))))
Marina you should be glad that you look as young as your daughter and that she likes to travel with you..I have 3 daughters but they don't like to cruise. I'm sailing on the Jubilee out of SanJuan on 1/31/04....I don't know what to expect since it is a small ship but I like the ports a lot...SEE YOU ON BOARD!! seagirl
I have to say it never really crossed my mind that anyone would think any of my cabin mates & myself were gay. But now that I think about it ---maybe some older married couples who would never have considered travelling solo might, maybe others as well. If they do, I could care less - like TR - I can't afford to travel & pay the single supplement. That is why I wondered why men over 20 something find it either difficult or would never consider, rooming with another man. It's unfortunate to have to miss out on all that cruises have to offer because of it. Maybe if a specific cruise were arranged - like a Baby Boomers cruise w/ a place to post info just for it --- I know it is probably more difficult arranging a cabin mate on a geneal cruise when 95% of those signing on are married couples or conversly, in the 20 something group!
LJ, I think the issue of "being thought of as gay" mostly applies to males. Women are not as obsessed or phobic about being thought of as gay and therefore do not look for it. With males it is frequently the first thought that crosses their minds when they see two men together. No so with women. Again, I agree, who cares what people think. Enjoy the cruise, life is too short to worry about the nonsense that people think about.
I would gladly cruise with a buddy from home and would not worry a bit about what other people are perceiving. I just wouldn't want to take a chance on rooming with someone I never met in person, whether that person is male or female. That's all.
And I'm not rich, so paying the single supplement is too costly for me. I hope I didn't mislead you to think I cruise alone and pay the single supplement, because I don't. I am merely stating that if I absolutely HAD to cruise and Mrs. couldn't go and I couldn't find a buddy from home, then my last option would be the single supplement instead of a stranger.
I have had no luck finding cabinmates on this or any other site. I'm wanting to do an Eastern Caribbean cruise out of South Florida the end of February. I'm a bi guy who respects people's privacy. I am not a banner waving, flag flying drama queen. I don't "act" masculine or feminine, I am midwest normal. I can carry on a conversation if engaged but have a shy side so don't often initiate them. I would never inflict myself or my beliefs on anyone. I would rather room alone but just hate paying single supplements. If someone chooses to be naked in front of me I would look, but I would never touch unless invited to do so. I'm a non smoker, a social drinker and a lousey dancer. So I just want to let all you straight, gay or bi people out there know that your virginity would be safe with me if we were cabinmates.
I had to add my two cents here when I read this post. My name is Heather and I have put together the Singles Group Cruise on the Valor. Since I have dealt with the whole hooking cabin mates up for this cruise I definitely found this interesting.
We have matched up cabin mates left and right for this cruise and there as not been an issue yet. I can say too that I never even thought of the whole pre-conceived notions someone might have about asking for a male or female cabin mate. Perhaps it made it easier with the host suggesting who should room with who. This post definitely gave me food for thought. It just wasn't something that I had thought about and probably won't think about again after I finish writing this.
I appreciate the honesty of TR's response about cabin mates. I personally feel this is a very true feeling that some men share and it does not make them homophobic. I do think, also, that women can usually tell if two guys sitting at the bar are straight or gay. The fact of the matter is that I really don't think about it period though. I could truly care less what trips someone's trigger as long as they aren't hurting anyone. One of the absolute best times I ever had in Vegas was during the same time the Gay and Lesbian Convention was going on. Every blackjack table was filled with people having a ball. On the flight home I ended up sitting next to two women and fell asleep. When I woke us I was sleeping on the shoulder of the one girlfriend. A man would have died if he would have done that, I just laughed and said thanks for the pillow. I was embarrassed but not because of her but because of me. It seems society at large is becoming more accepting and less judgemental of someone else's personal dynamics. Thank God.
I hope people continue to be able to find good cruise buddies and have great times without worrying what someone else thinks. Really, on a cruise, I have no desire or time to think about why two particular people are in a cabin together and just what they are doing in said cabin. I don't think too many others are going to think about it either. And if they do, I think they need to get out more.
Looked back quite a way to find this message but decided to follow-up. My 15 day cruise w/ the cabin mate I found on this board was great! In fact, we will be cruising as cabin mates again as her husband is not interested in cruises. Hope everyone else who locates a "stranger" to cruise with is as lucky, I am 3 for 3!
have to add my ten cents as inflation has hit everything. found my cruisemate here in december and cruised in january. never saw each other til we met in florida and realize that in itself could have been a disaster. we talked on the phone beforehand and seemed to hit it off quite well. i had the best of my 9 cruises and she enjoyed herself tremendously. we continue to talk on the phone and are planning more travel together, including more cruises. we set up ground rules first thing so there would be no problems. we got onboard to find the beds pushed together and a note congratulating us on our honeymoon. a call to the steward solved it and we all had a good laugh. so yes there is a way to meet others here and as long as everyone is honest, it does work.
In Dec 2004, I cruised with a 'stranger' on the Holland American Share program, a 12 day cruise to the Caribbean. She and I were the very same age and while very different people had tons in common. Turns out she went to college with a friend of mine and grad school with my former roommate. We are all from different states.
Anyway.. we had a good time and are definitely keeping in touch. People on the cruise could not believe that we did not know each other prior to the cruise.
In addition, post cruise, I shared a hotel room at a hotel (near Port Evergalde with complementary shuttles to the airport and the port ) with another 'stranger' whom I had met online at cruise critic, but with whom I had spoken with and exchanged emails with a few times before the cruise. It was very nice having someone waiting up for me when I got to the hotel about midnight, nice to have someone to chat with at breakfast, to share the excitement of checking in with, to do last minute shopping with in the hotel store, and to hang out at the pool with while we were waiting on our cabins, and to help with each others bags. She was very nice as well, and we hung out sometimes on the ship. We even shared a clamshell on halfmoon Cay on our port day there. We are still in touch.
Finally, in Jan 2005, was travelling to Guatemala to study Spanish but wanted to meet a few other students in the city I was going to before hand. Was also looking for a travel mate to do my 5 hour bus trip form Guatemala city to the city I was going to. I posted an ad on a travel board for Gua and got several responses. Was able to meet and hang out with several of those people...and in particular spent a lot of time with a young woman who arrived in gua about the same time as me, and who also studied in the same city with me. Again.....we communicated by email and phone prior to meeting up in Gua.
So.........I all this to say........ I think it is very very possible to have positive 'on-line stranger' experiences.
I wish all of you looking for cabinmates on line as much success as I have been blessed to have.
TR, What do you look for in a travel partner? I am 65F always looking for a travel companion. I think I am easy to get along with and considerate of others. Would like to plan something this year. I enjoy the dinners and the shows the most. I would like to have a dance partner but that is not a requirement. I can go and do things alone but also enjoy a companion at times. Not looking for romance, don't want to pay the single supplement. If interested would like to talk further. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks for your response.