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  #1 (permalink)  
Old February 15th, 2006, 01:34 PM
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Location: california
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Default we the people of cruisemates

it has come to my attention that there is a bull ----er amoung us

i feel that the people who use this site are in ernest looking for legitamet cruises and cabin mates..although nieve of me i feel that those who i am in contact with are good, honest people, and are honest about themselves
when they post a topic or thread.

if you are not who you say you are, eventually we will find out..and there will be tell tail signs of it eventually..

i am sure there are other sites that you can use to bs your way threw life


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Old February 16th, 2006, 02:27 AM
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It is always a very good idea to be cautious about meeting people on the Internet. Never trust people immmediately, always ask for credentials. These days, most people can produce something electronic that "proves" who they are. Do a Google on my name, Paul Motter, and you will find a lot of entries.

Yes, people do lie sometimes, more often they exagerate, many times there is plain and simple misunderstanding, like when a person uses a word in one context in their mind when they type it, but it reads with another "meaning" to impartial viewers. Humor and other things said in jest are often misunderstood to be serious comments. Or sometimes a person doesn't understand the true definition of a word they use.

It is sad when a person intentionally writes misleading text to make people think they are someone they truly are not. But it is all too common and typical. If you have doubts ask for "credentials" - if they cannot prove anything then just stay away. By the same token. I urge people NOT to jump to conclusions about people just because someone else says something negative about them. Please give people a chance to speak for themselves before you judge them.

And if you find them questionable, please don't get into a long war of words. All it does is make the nice people harder to find. 'If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything' is my recommended approach.
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Old February 16th, 2006, 07:52 AM
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Default Credentials?

Could you please elaborate on "electronic credentials"? I am not sure what you mean. Thanks for your help
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Old February 16th, 2006, 10:39 AM
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I agree with most of what you said, especially that we should "NOT to jump to conclusions about people just because someone else says something negative about them" and we should " give people a chance to speak for themselves", but I do think that when someone is out there intentionally misleading us, that we owe it to each other to identify that person, so we all don't have to learn about him/her the hard way. I agree that we shouldn't " get into a long war of words " but we should post a short, to the point, factual (not emotional) statement for the rest of us legitimate members.
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Old February 17th, 2006, 12:05 PM
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Thank you Waterskier for that clarification. Yes, it is important to point out concerns one has about someone. And the person's response to such statements will say volumes.

As far as "electronic credentials" I simply mean that it is pretty easy to see that I am who I say I am (the publisher of CruiseMates) by doing a "google" on my name.

This brings up a whole NEW topic - what should you do if you are getting serious about choosing a cabin-mate?

It would be a VERY good idea to establish the trust by exchanging driver's license copies (for example) and possibly some letters of credential, for example. Copies of pay-stubs... I am going to make this a new topic.
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Old February 17th, 2006, 06:42 PM
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Ridinsolo: I am very curious to learn exactly what you know that led you to believe that a certain person's request for a cruisemate is not legitimate (I assume we are talking about the same scholarly gentleman.)
Did he ever answer your reply? (he did not answer mine, so far)
I received an e-mail from a famous author's heir telling me he is a liar and a fraud, but no real evidence as to why he accused this man of deceit in his request for a cruisemate (other than copyright infringement. Huh?)
As a single, I look forward to Paul Motter's help in determining how we can judge the legitimacy of persons we meet on the Internet. I met my last cruise roommate right here on Cruisemates, it took us four months of e-mails and phone calls, exchanging photos, etc., to determine that we were both honest with each other about just finding someone to share a cabin with on a cruise. I even put her in touch with a few of my past female cruise roomies, as well as my family members, to reassure her that I was legit. (By the way, our cruise together last month on HollandAmerica was wonderful, she was everything she said she was.)
I'm sure Paul will help us all w/ more suggestions to separate the jokers from the honest cruisers. Until then, please tell me what you learned about this guy. His offer sounded too good to be true, but I'm still wondering. Thanks, Capt. Jim
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