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  #1 (permalink)  
Old December 1st, 2000, 09:42 PM
Pat Hagan
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Default Romancing the Crew

Hi everybody,

I've had several e-mails from women in response to my latest article, "Romancing the Crew." Some confided they have had unfortunate experiences, while others had positive things to say.

What about everyone else? Read my article and then please feel free to share your own experiences, good or bad.

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
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Old December 1st, 2000, 11:27 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Pat,

Your article was superb. It is very worthwhile reading for everybody who has romantic dreams in that direction!

Norm.
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Old December 2nd, 2000, 03:32 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Thanks for the kind words, Norm. There are a lot of folks out there, men and women, who have been unlucky in love on cruise ships. Then there are those who have hit the jackpot. I'd love to hear from some of them.

Pat Hagan
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Old December 2nd, 2000, 11:41 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Pat,

I have heard of a few such instances. Basically, I think that it's common sense in dating -- the same sort of common sense that one would apply ashore. Somebody who wants to "jump in the sack" prematurely probably does not value marriage itself sufficiently to invest the time, effort, and personal sacrifice that's required of both partners to make a marriage work -- and this is true of both men and women. The relationship that will succeed is the one that's nurtured over the course of time and given a chance to mature appropriately, ultimately leading to marriage and a healthy sexual union founded on the deep love that can exist only within such a relationship.

Norm.
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Old December 3rd, 2000, 10:22 PM
Pat Hagan
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

I agree with you, Norm, but I think when it comes to shipboard romances, people just become overwhelmed by the romantic atmosphere and let their hearts rule their heads.

But I'm not condemning shipboard romances. Far from it. I think cruising is the ideal way to meet people of the opposite sex. I just think people have to keep things in perspective and keep a tight rein on their emotions. They should not do anything on impulse, and, above all else, if they do wind up in bed, practicing safe sex should be the #1 priority.

I would love some feedback from single cruisers who've had romances onboard.

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
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Old December 14th, 2000, 09:59 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

I read your article on Romancing the Crew and found it very interesting. While the
beginning was very humorous, the end proved as a wake up call. I had met a bartender
on a cruise over 2 years ago. We have exchanged phone calls and letters. There were a
few times we even were supposed to meet but other things got in our way. I had believed
that he was the love of my life for a long time. It wasn't until a few monthes ago that I
stopped hearing from him. I believed that he was different because I corresponded with
him. I don't think anything is wrong in having a cruise ship romance. The key is to know
where you both want it to go. If you understand that it'll be only a week romance and
you're only having fun - Go with it but be careful.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old December 16th, 2000, 11:26 AM
Pat Hagan
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Heather, your experience is exactly what I was talking about in the article. There's nothing wrong with having a shipboard romance as long as one keeps everything in perspective, for the fantasy, sadly, seldom lasts once the ship reaches port.
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Old December 28th, 2000, 09:29 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

You know what's really ironic. I got a call from the man i was talking about the other day. He gave me his email address and I wrote him yesterday. He emailed me right back. Hey, If I give it to you, will you yell at him. Just Kidding.
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Old December 29th, 2000, 12:11 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Been there done that. On my first cruise many years ago I had a flirtation with a crewmember. It was very exciting during the cruise and I was so excited a week later when he sent me a card and then he called and kept calling. I was glued to my house waiting for his calls. It was a very unhealthy situation and I got hurt. Eventually when his contract was up he was headed home and said he would keep calling me but did not until 4 months later, which seemed like an eternity which if you have been there will understand. Like an idiot I took him back and the same exact thing happened again. Eventually I learned and I found it in myself to hang up on him when he called. Sometimes a year would pass and he would call again. Would you believe it if I told you the relationship was never consummated? There seemed to be a dependency between us for companionship but there was no way to make the relationship go forward.

A few years pass and I go on another cruise but I try to be careful because I don't want to find myself in the same mess. I meet a guy who seems like a total prince and I want to get to know him better but I try to stop myself from falling. My solution was to instead flirt, just chat and flirt, with some other person I had no interest in to keep me distracted from him. It did work to a certain extent. At the end of the cruise I said goodbye to both of them but the thought that I would never see HIM again or ever get to know if he really was the prince he appeared to be pained and frustrated me.

Now 5 years have passed and I wake up and go to bed with my "prince" beside me. We go in to work together every morning too. He is my husband. How could this happen? Did I not learn ANYTHING from my first time romancing the crew?

About a year after that cruise I had a total chance meeting with the guy and then sparks flew for real. It was unexpected and a wonderful sweet surprise. But a day together, unplanned and unexpected, is more of a whirlwind romance than on a cruise and that got my head and heart spinning even more. I decided that this must have happened for a reason and give it the benefit of the doubt and remember what was wrong with the first cruise romance, think realistically, and DON'T let history repeat itself.

Believe me, we've had lots of ups and downs and I know there are more tough times ahead. It is not easy and just because I have a happy ending does not mean I encourage people to pursue romance with a crew member. However, if you are already in a situation I offer you this advice. Really try to imagine what your life would be together. Where would you live and could you manage? Would you both need to work? Can you both find work to support yourselves wherever it is you decide to live? Practical issues that should be considered. Most crew members are not US citizens and if they are not young and on board for the "fun" of it, it's because the country they come from probably does not provide them with opportunities to make a living. So, while living in Asia or Europe sounds like a fun adventure, there will be a lot more to it. Also, if your crewmember is not professionally skilled or trained and/or has difficulty with English, that is also a big obstacle in many ways. What about your families, religion, ideas about how to raise your children? There could be major differences that may not affect you now, but later will have to be dealt with, so at least think about it.

There is also the stigma of being with a sailor. People, your friends and family, may or may not say anything to you. They will question his sincerity and motives. You can't live your life entirely on what people think, but you certainly can't escape it either.

Sometimes the shipboard romance is just a game on the part of the passenger or on the part of the crewmember or both. But in my case I don't think either relationship was started or developed for the purpose stringing the other along. People may have the best of intentions but as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Good luck to those of you who are involved with someone at sea.
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Old December 29th, 2000, 08:48 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

I had a wonderful romance with a first officer aboard one of the Carnival ships. We met on the formal night this past summer. Later in the cruise he spotted me while he was working on the bridge. What ensued was one of the best experiences of my life. We met again when the Destiny was in Halifax at the beginning of September. We still email regularly--the relationship has shifted to that of pen-pals. What I think is important to remeber is that a shipboard romance is just that; chances are it will never be anything more. If one approaches it from that standpoint, the brief encounter can be one of the best memories a person will have. I truly enjoyed my time with this crewmember--we talked, laughed, shared anecdotes about Italy. I didn't get hurt because I kept things in perspective. If an individual is capable of that, I heartily reccommend the shipboard romance. I'll never forget him.
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Old January 1st, 2001, 01:36 PM
Pat Hagan
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. You gave some wonderful incite on shipboard romances. I just wish all could have a happy ending like yours. But the main thing to remember is keep things in perspective. When you are on a cruise ship you are in a different world, which, sadly, comes to an end with those dreaded words on the last morning: "Passengers may now disembark."

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
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Old January 1st, 2001, 01:38 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Andrea, you truly have the right idea re. shipboard romances. I am happy it turned out well for you and hope your friendship with the officer continues. Please keep all of us posted, and Happy New Year!

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
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Old January 3rd, 2001, 01:20 AM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Hey Andrea, great story, I like your philosophy for shipboard romance, its the same way I feel about it. I know before any cruise whether its a crew member or another passenger that everything ends when the week is over. As long as I remember that I have a lot of fun, some of the crew members I've met over my past two cruises have been some of the most interesting people I've ever met. THey have a lot of stories to share and have taught me a lot. It makes my cruises that much better. I'm glad you've got such a great perspective on this subject, hope your friendship with this guy keeps up!
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Old January 3rd, 2001, 10:21 AM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Hi Andrea,
What a wonderful story, glad you had the chance to expierence all that and more. You are so right to keep the whole romance in perspective, thats the key here I think, thanks for sharing your love story :-)

Donnassei
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Old January 7th, 2001, 07:59 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Hi Everybody!

Thanks for replying to my message. I just got back from three days on the Fantasy and had a great time. I thought this time you might like a crew member's point of view on the subject of shipboard romance. I met a Video cameraman on my last cruise on the Destiny and we crossed paths on this last cruise. Turns out he met someone while the Destiny was sailing the Canadian coast this summer (same cruise where I met my officer). He is completely in love with her. He says that some crew are out to score, but there is a large group of them who truly want to have genuine interaction with passengers (romantic and otherwise). Who knows where his romance will lead? He's hopeful that someday it will be a permanent arrangement.

The crew are some of the best people aboard. My new friend is a film maker, with an Oxford degree in his off time. He uses the shipboard employment to raise funds. We share a love of nature and the ocean and plan to correspond via email and see each other when he is in Canada later this year.

People like him are proof that there are truly honourable crew out there.

Take care everyone. I'll have to let you know what happens on the Destiny when I go in March!
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Old January 8th, 2001, 11:56 AM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

A cruiseship is a microcosm of society - there are snakes and there are wonderful people. In addition to my husband I am also still friendly with other crew members I have met on cruises. For example, for the past three years every few months I get a postcard from one my crew friends, from wherever he is, usually he doesn't say anything but just signs his name, what city he is in at the moment and the date. Very mysterious, but just his way of keeping in touch. My husband is slightly jealous about this because from his experience he believes most of these guys are just out to "get lucky," but in my case I found the real winners who are interested in mutual friendship.
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Old January 13th, 2001, 05:18 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

I have a shipboard romance to share. I sailed on a Royal Caribeean ship this past summer with some friends. I met a wonderful crew member who was a waiter at another table. He came over on the first night and introduced himself and offered to take my friends and I to some of the nightspots when the ship docked the next day. We spent the whole week with him, he was wonderful. Not only was he a perfect gentleman but he was truly compassionate and caring. A little romance between he and I started towards the end of the cruise and I thought I would never hear from him once I left the ship. Well I was wrong, he emails me a few times a month and when he went home to his country in Sept, he sent me a gift from his homeland. I also received a beautiful Christmas card from him. When his ship docked in my home town we met for the day and the sparks flew once more. He has asked me to sail with him again and I am still debating whether I should or not. I too, am keeping a level head about it and try not to predict the future. I am happy with the memories of that beautiful week in paradise!
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Old January 13th, 2001, 05:37 PM
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Hi Karie,
What a wonderful story, glad it worked out well for you. Please keep us updated on this? Good luck and thanks for sharing your story :-)

Donnassei
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Old January 14th, 2001, 09:50 PM
Pat Hagan
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Katie, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds as though you have the right perspective and will be able to make a wise decision for any future meetings with your crew member. And do keep us posted. Good luck.

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
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Old January 14th, 2001, 09:52 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Andrea, what a beautiful story. i am so happy for you. Please let us know about your March cruise. I think this is wonderful, and you are right--there are crewmembers who are genuinely interested in meeting someone for the right intentions. We can't be cynical because of a few bad experiences we have heard about, right?

Good luck.
Pat Hagan
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Old January 15th, 2001, 01:42 PM
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Okay, it's taken me days to decide to respond to this. I was "romanced" by a crew member, but never in my cabin or his, if you know what I mean...he chased me for four days and I had a wonderful time.....We exchanged addresses and phone numbers....he called every two months or so and left messages on my answering machine....He would never call in the evening which told me he was in the same time zone and probably couldn't call when I would be home....He also would never leave an address or phone number so I couldn't get back to him....HMMMMMMMM ...the last time I heard from him was before I moved about a year ago....since then, NADA....
But you know what? He was fun, charming and I think, well-intentioned as far as friendship went....I didn't expect a marriage proposal and he wasn't about to give over with one...I think he just enjoyed meeting new people and making friendships....I am certain that right now, as I am writing this, he is out there on the high seas chasing some other equally delighted woman....
I'll probably run into him again someday on another cruise and like everyone else on this board, I'll give him my new phone number and he'll call every couple of months and it will start over again....
My advice to women cruisers: Don't leave your sense and sensibility at home. Take it with you and have fun, but don't do anything that would ruin your life. I saw a post somewhere on this subject where the woman who posted said she contracted herpes from a crew member....If you're going to do "it", remember to pack "them". And dont' throw your life away on the guy when you get home....Live your life and enjoy it all while you can....
Peace to all!
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Old January 18th, 2001, 08:29 AM
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I had a great time when I had my fling, but it was with an independant musican on board, not with the wait staff of cabin boy. Just know what you are getting into before you get into it. And know that these guys even though they don't admit it get hit on all the time. And last but not least safe sex.
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Old January 30th, 2001, 09:13 AM
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Norm you sound like a real winner. Wish I could meet someone with your values on my cruise. Seems to me like common sense should provide the basis for cruise romances as well as any others. Although I do not expect to find true love and romance I do hope I can hook up with a male dance partner and make some acquaintances with good men. Friendships - even short-lived - are always rewarding to me. Of course I do believe that a good friendship is the best foundation for true love. And I did fall in love at first sight with the man who was my husband for 19 years. And never stopped loving him until he passed away.
So I never say never!Norm wrote:
>
> Pat,
>
> I have heard of a few such instances. Basically, I think
> that it's common sense in dating -- the same sort of common
> sense that one would apply ashore. Somebody who wants to
> "jump in the sack" prematurely probably does not value
> marriage itself sufficiently to invest the time, effort, and
> personal sacrifice that's required of both partners to make a
> marriage work -- and this is true of both men and women. The
> relationship that will succeed is the one that's nurtured
> over the course of time and given a chance to mature
> appropriately, ultimately leading to marriage and a healthy
> sexual union founded on the deep love that can exist only
> within such a relationship.
>
> Norm.
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Old February 3rd, 2001, 01:08 AM
Pat Hagan
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Default RE: Romancing the Crew

Suzanne, your advice is valuable. I hope others will heed it.

I just returned from a Singles Cruise on the Paradise and a female in our group evidently had not read my article on "Romancing the Crew." She had a "fling" with an officer and is now experiencing a severe reality check.

Everyone just has to keep things in perspective when they get involved with a crew member.

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old June 4th, 2007, 04:36 PM
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Default Re: Romancing the Crew

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Hagan
Hi everybody,

I've had several e-mails from women in response to my latest article, "Romancing the Crew." Some confided they have had unfortunate experiences, while others had positive things to say.

What about everyone else? Read my article and then please feel free to share your own experiences, good or bad.

Pat Hagan
Singles Editor
I know this is an old post but I still find it interesting. After many cruises and at least 10 singles cruises I have never heard of any men romancing the crew but have heard many stories of women who do this even though it is very risky at best.

Why do you suppose no guys, or at least any I know of, have had flings with any female crew on board even though there are many who work on the ships?

Thoughts anyone on an old subject...............

Bill 8)
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Old June 4th, 2007, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nvabill
I know this is an old post but I still find it interesting. After many cruises and at least 10 singles cruises I have never heard of any men romancing the crew but have heard many stories of women who do this even though it is very risky at best.

Why do you suppose no guys, or at least any I know of, have had flings with any female crew on board even though there are many who work on the ships?

Thoughts anyone on an old subject...............

Bill 8)
Because most of the female crew members are of different cultures and are probably not as "free and daring" as American women. Also, the female crewmembers have plenty of men to pick from in the crew and do not need to get into a quickie one week encounter.

From what I understand, over the last few years, many male crewmembers have learned to shy away from the female passengers. The possibility of trouble is simply too great.
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Old June 5th, 2007, 09:54 AM
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Default Re: Romancing the Crew

Quote:
Originally Posted by nvabill
. . . Why do you suppose no guys, or at least any I know of, have had flings with any female crew on board even though there are many who work on the ships?

Thoughts anyone on an old subject...............

Bill 8)
It does happens but very, very rarely with female crew members and male passengers.

As mention, some female crew usually date male crew members and women have the pick of bunch with men on the ship. As a rule, you don't mess with anyone where you make your money otherwise you may be sent home.

There are also many other problems for female crew members, a male crew member could have a crush on a female crew member. She could get "knocked up" and sent home. Or have a bad love affair and jump off the ship . . . this has happen.

When I was cruising in the Mexico Riviera I met a beautiful hair stylist from England on the shuttle to the ship and she was starting her 8 month tour. I promise to get a haircut from her but missed the appointment by an hour but still tipped her anyway. I also met her at dinner when she had her day off but did not try to start anything.

I would not advise it but if you do want to meet women who work on a cruise try for the female entertainers, purser officers and fitness instructors. A tip: if you want to meet the female stage entertainers hang out at the gym they need to keep constantly in shape. Another, try to get yourself in the amateur contest because there will be a few females entertainers looking at your act.

Keep in mind, the female entertainers are probably dating the officers or the male entertainers. Make sure if you do this have a room to yourself!!!
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Old June 5th, 2007, 11:41 AM
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Hey Bill, I have the answer to your question about the female crew members not romancing the male passengers.

First of all, I have enterviewed plenty of beautiful female crew members and asked them if they were married or had boyfriends on the ship.
This is their answers..... One gal said she took her time in choosing a male crew member on the ship and found a wonderful boyfriend.
Another gal married a crew member and they both worked on the ship together in the restaurants or in different areas. There are plenty of married couples on the ship. Most cruisers don't notice it.

I have seen the older male cruisers flirting with the female crew workers. The gals are polite and answer their questions. They don't want to displease the old farts so they carry the conversation and they also hope the cruisers will give them a nice extra cash tip on the side at the end of the cruise. Once... there was this man in his 60's flirting with one of the gal waitress in the main dinning room. There were several male waiters standing around talking to eachother and they turned around and gave the old jerk.. dirty looks... and just stood there looking at him. Dinner was over and I was with the old two guys walking out when I witnessed the incident.lol. The other old guy tells his flirty friend that the waitress was married to one of the waiters that were standing there starring at him with displeasure. The beautiful young waitress had dishes in her hands and she was on her way to the kitchen but she did stop to talk to the flirty man as not to get him upset with her. ALL CREW WORKERS HAVE TO BE POLITE TO US BECAUSE THEY FEAR THAT YOU WILL REPORT THEM. BUT ONCE THEY ARE OFF THE SHIP ON THEIR OWN TIME THEY DON'T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY.
This is what I have learned from cruising for many years. You don't bother the crew workers when you see them in the ports. You don't talk to them unless they say hello to you first and they want to talk to you for a few minutes. Most of them want to have the freedom to just enjoy the few hours that they have to go shopping for their personal item that they need. They are not given that much time off so they want to rest from us cruisers who are always bothering them with questions over and over on the ships. Most of us are always asking the crew workers for directions on how to get to some place. RIGHT?? On the last day of the cruise we all finally learn how to get around the ship hopefully.

I know I have changed the subject to crew members and their needs.
They have needs too. They have to be nice to you on the ship but they don't have to be nice to you in the ports because they are on their own time. I once had a guy friend ask a crew worker in port what country he was from. The worker seemed upset that my friend was bothering with personal questions in port on his free time. He really didn't want to talk to my friend so I told my friend lets go now. I told my friend later to never bother the crew workers while they are on their own time in port.
This info is for everybody who doesn't know this unwritten rule of behavior with crew workers in ports in their free time.

ROMANCING THE CREW? Forget it!! It is not acceptable anymore because there have been too many bad incidents on ships. Some gals chase after the crew members and then yell rape so they can get upgraded to a suite. Plus, get another free cruise. It has happened because a cabin steward told me that if a gal starts to flirt with them they will report it to their supervisor so when the gal yells rape the ship deals with those gals and their false reports. There have been real rapes too.
Cruise-lines don't encourage ship romances.

This is the way I see it..... Why would I want to pick up on a crew worker who is poorly paid, from a different country, different religion, etc. They may be wanting to use me to get to the United States. Most of the crew workers who flirt with me are younger than me and I am realistic that they just want an extra tip at the end of the cruise or just want to have a fling with me.
REGARDING FLINGS ON SHIPS - I don't want to have a fling on a cruise ship with any guy..... crew member or not. I can have all the flings I want at my city. I go cruising just for the fun of it. I love the ocean and I don't really care if I go to the same ports over and over.
I do have a life in my city and have friends to hang out with but they just don't like to cruise. Some of us are in that situation. Angelgal/Luci
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Old June 5th, 2007, 12:04 PM
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Thanks Angelgal and others, interesting stuff!
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Old June 5th, 2007, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelgal
Hey Bill, I have the answer to your question about the female crew members not romancing the male passengers.

First of all, I have enterviewed plenty of beautiful female crew members and asked them if they were married or had boyfriends on the ship.
This is their answers..... One gal said she took her time in choosing a male crew member on the ship and found a wonderful boyfriend.
Another gal married a crew member and they both worked on the ship together in the restaurants or in different areas. There are plenty of married couples on the ship. Most cruisers don't notice it.

I have seen the older male cruisers flirting with the female crew workers. The gals are polite and answer their questions. They don't want to displease the old farts so they carry the conversation and they also hope the cruisers will give them a nice extra cash tip on the side at the end of the cruise. Once... there was this man in his 60's flirting with one of the gal waitress in the main dinning room. There were several male waiters standing around talking to eachother and they turned around and gave the old jerk.. dirty looks... and just stood there looking at him. Dinner was over and I was with the old two guys walking out when I witnessed the incident.lol. The other old guy tells his flirty friend that the waitress was married to one of the waiters that were standing there starring at him with displeasure. The beautiful young waitress had dishes in her hands and she was on her way to the kitchen but she did stop to talk to the flirty man as not to get him upset with her. ALL CREW WORKERS HAVE TO BE POLITE TO US BECAUSE THEY FEAR THAT YOU WILL REPORT THEM. BUT ONCE THEY ARE OFF THE SHIP ON THEIR OWN TIME THEY DON'T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY.
This is what I have learned from cruising for many years. You don't bother the crew workers when you see them in the ports. You don't talk to them unless they say hello to you first and they want to talk to you for a few minutes. Most of them want to have the freedom to just enjoy the few hours that they have to go shopping for their personal item that they need. They are not given that much time off so they want to rest from us cruisers who are always bothering them with questions over and over on the ships. Most of us are always asking the crew workers for directions on how to get to some place. RIGHT?? On the last day of the cruise we all finally learn how to get around the ship hopefully.

I know I have changed the subject to crew members and their needs.
They have needs too. They have to be nice to you on the ship but they don't have to be nice to you in the ports because they are on their own time. I once had a guy friend ask a crew worker in port what country he was from. The worker seemed upset that my friend was bothering with personal questions in port on his free time. He really didn't want to talk to my friend so I told my friend lets go now. I told my friend later to never bother the crew workers while they are on their own time in port.
This info is for everybody who doesn't know this unwritten rule of behavior with crew workers in ports in their free time.

ROMANCING THE CREW? Forget it!! It is not acceptable anymore because there have been too many bad incidents on ships. Some gals chase after the crew members and then yell rape so they can get upgraded to a suite. Plus, get another free cruise. It has happened because a cabin steward told me that if a gal starts to flirt with them they will report it to their supervisor so when the gal yells rape the ship deals with those gals and their false reports. There have been real rapes too.
Cruise-lines don't encourage ship romances.

This is the way I see it..... Why would I want to pick up on a crew worker who is poorly paid, from a different country, different religion, etc. They may be wanting to use me to get to the United States. Most of the crew workers who flirt with me are younger than me and I am realistic that they just want an extra tip at the end of the cruise or just want to have a fling with me.
REGARDING FLINGS ON SHIPS - I don't want to have a fling on a cruise ship with any guy..... crew member or not. I can have all the flings I want at my city. I go cruising just for the fun of it. I love the ocean and I don't really care if I go to the same ports over and over.
I do have a life in my city and have friends to hang out with but they just don't like to cruise. Some of us are in that situation. Angelgal/Luci
Good post. There used to be the time when flings with crew members were common place. Those days are over. If you ever hang out in the dance club at night you will see that the senior officers and the dancers, etc. all find a corner and hang out amongst themselves. They do not interact with the passengers. Too many problems.

I went to hug my room steward this past week when I was leaving and I could see he was not comfortable with it. In this day and age, there is really very little to gain and so much to lose by messing with the passengers.

However, I think the "don't talk to crew at port" is a bit extreme. I have seen crew members at ports and they seem friendly enough. I am not trying to hang out with them but I didn't get the impression that by having idle chitchat, we were crossing some unspoken rule of never speak to a crew member at port. Also, I have seen the younger passengers go and hang out and party with the younger crew members at port. I have taken island tours that included crew members, no problem. I just think the romantic/sexual encounters have pretty much stopped.
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