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  #1 (permalink)  
Old February 19th, 2006, 11:01 PM
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Default Antz: Here is some Cheap Pre-Cruise Therapy

Greetings All
Getting Antz....Need the Cruise ASAP
Introducing.......

Jerry went to a psychiatrist.

"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for $10."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

Hehehehehe.....


To The Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old February 19th, 2006, 11:17 PM
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lol Duke

OK Here is one that has something to do with legs too:

What do u call a cow with no legs?


Ground Beef


It's silly but your joke made me remember it.


Heather
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Old February 20th, 2006, 09:31 PM
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Thank YOU Heather
For Your Return, it's thearpy to my antzy self...lol
I am so royaly pumped for hOUR Next Ad-Venture aboard the Valor April 30th...
More thearpy for your "Cruise"... Sometimes I forget to bring things and some times I bring to much for instance....
( but Of course I put a twist ( being Male ) on most things....hehehehe)

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it...and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

To the Cruise...
Sir Duke
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Old March 5th, 2006, 11:28 PM
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Greetings Cruisemates
I am getting Antzy"er"
Startdate for my Most Excellent Ad-Venture 04.30.06
More Thearpy I need MORE thearpy....lol
A Word Game...
Here I goooooo.....

Humor my way of destressing. Apparently, the Washington Post's periodically runs a contest where they ask readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some that I thought were amazingly cute:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting something for nothing or.......( you can fill in the blank....)

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

And the Beat goes on......

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old March 6th, 2006, 08:09 AM
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HAHAHAHAHAHA

It is amazing how many of the words so aptly fit my life.

Foreploy for Jamie because we did get married 3 months to the day we met so you know he had to employ this tactic. Or perhaps it was me.

We just built our house so we just got cashtrated.

We just experienced intaxication, but, hey it is cruise time so I can deal.

And I experience Sarchasm ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!!!



As always Duke...thank you for the humour.

Heather
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Old March 6th, 2006, 07:35 PM
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Greetings Once again Cruisemates
Heather
I am ready for hOUR Cruise to the Western Carribean NOW
But before we Jet with Pinky
I shall Royaly finish what I started ( still Antzy....)now....lol

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. ( been there...today as a mater of fact....)

8. Uno: What you insert, you know, while, you know, you are deciding what you will say next, you know.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 8)

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old March 13th, 2006, 05:22 PM
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Greetings Fellow Antzyins'
Pre- Cruise Therapy

Riddle me this.....
What has Pink posies, elgant Cheese Cake, Swarovski crystal flowers and geometric tiers ( hint...you must think outside the "box")

To the Cruise
Sir Duke

Ps. Heather you know this.....
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Old March 22nd, 2006, 04:24 PM
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Greetings Royal Cruisemates....39 days to Goooooooooooooooo....
Have one more Pre-Cruise Antzy......
The following puns are truly awful, I fear some will be offensive, and they've been around for a long time. And, poor twisted soul that I am, they still made me laugh and so I'm passing them along. A friend, sent them to me and after resisting as long as I could (I can hear the groans already), I decided to pass them on. I hope you enjoy them!

Van Gogh Family Tree

His dizzy aunt -------------------------------------Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes -------------------------Gotta Gogh

Brother who worked at a convenience store ----Stop n Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia --------------------U Gogh

The cousin from Illinois ---------------------------Chica Gogh

His magician uncle ------------------------Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin ---------------------------------Amee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother -----Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach-------Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle ------------------------------Can't Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt --------------------------Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle -------------------------------Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst ---------------------------E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin ----------------------------Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking -------------Way-to Gogh

The little bouncy nephew ---------------------------Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco ---------------------------Go Gogh

His niece who lives in a motor-home ------Winnie Bay Gogh

Well, there you Gogh!


To The Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old March 23rd, 2006, 11:24 AM
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OK I think the answer to the riddle is...drumroll...the Valor?

Gosh I hope I am right.

Heather
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Old March 23rd, 2006, 05:01 PM
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Greetings Heather
Close......
I will e-mail you the answer


To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old March 23rd, 2006, 09:20 PM
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Darn I really thought I might have the answer there. Boo Hoo for me.

So Duke...I hope u are looking forward to seeing Jamie and I as much as we are in seeing you.

Heather
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Old March 23rd, 2006, 10:20 PM
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Greetings Most Excellent Royal CruiseMate
hOUR Ad-Venture to the Big "C" in 38 days....lol
Heather and Jamie You area significant source of sugars for the Journey,vitamins ( including B-12) for hOUR island romps, and the calcium for the "tables".....MLT

To the Cruise
Sir Duke

"Toosite Roll"...................
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Old March 25th, 2006, 08:28 PM
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Hi,

I hope I don't get banned for this pun.

A female ice cream sundae is one without nuts.

Jim
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old March 25th, 2006, 09:28 PM
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Greetings Travelbugbitten,

'Tweet-Tweet'
'Yeah,"Yeah,'yeah...
Getting Antzy(er) only 35 more days
I see you like to be on the razor's edge too Jim

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old March 25th, 2006, 11:15 PM
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Jim...see that is just more proof that women aren't "nuts" but men sure are.


Duke...I am still waiting for the answer to the riddle. If it's not the Valor I don't know what it is. This is bothering me.

Less than 5 weeks to go and then I get a hug from my cruise buddy.

Heather
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Old March 25th, 2006, 11:44 PM
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Heather
Got you covered 8)
Sending the 'A' now
Should be in your in-box in a few and without futher ad-u

Jim remember that razor I was talking about in the for mention post......the name starts with an 'H'

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old March 28th, 2006, 10:01 AM
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I'm assuming one of you--or several--are going to post here on the singles message board after your cruise and tell how much fun you had. You sound like a fun group. Wish I could join you!
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Old March 28th, 2006, 10:22 AM
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Hi Pat

Yep we will. Duke wrote a really nice one last year after the Mothers Day cruise on the Valor. Plus we all did pictures. Remember us...the Royal Valor Cruisers last year? I was really hoping that you would maybe join us this time but nope. It would be great to get to meet you sometime though. You are always so nice to people on here.

Duke...I am still trying to figure out the answer. I know it wasn't Tootsie Roll. Or was it? You are making me antz for the riddles now. Can't wait till 4 1/2 weeks to get to see ya my friend.

Heather
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Old March 28th, 2006, 07:22 PM
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A Royal Greeting to you Cruisemate Pat,
Lady Heather is always a pleasure to Dance (hehehehe)

I shall do my royal best above the rest to 'envolve' the
Cruisemate cast in a play by royal play a-'pond' hOUR most
Excellent Ad-Venture



To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old March 31st, 2006, 10:08 PM
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8) Greetings Antzions
I feel another Ad-Venture coming.......


To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old April 3rd, 2006, 11:07 PM
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Greetings Valor Cruisemates...
24.9 days and counting for hOUR Most Excellent Ad-Venture...
I know I will forget something...

In Belize pick up a bottle of Cashew wine
Grand Cayman aquire a #1lb bag of Cayman Sea Salt
Isla Rotan got to get a 8 oz. jar of apple-banana jelly ( Oh Yeah)
AND in Costa Maya got to see what all the fuss is about.......(hehehehe)

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old April 4th, 2006, 08:15 AM
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thking about cruising instead of work - need to get my head in order!

Mary
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Old April 4th, 2006, 08:28 PM
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Greetings Cruisemate...
Mary
You'er in Antzy land now...lol
Sooo, I shall give you a tickle for your mind...in Costa Maya they have these awesome dark wood carvings

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old April 4th, 2006, 09:29 PM
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carvings found on the wooden lintels of Temple VI?
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Old April 4th, 2006, 11:22 PM
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Greeting
Mary
Yes and still antzy

To the Cruise
Sir Duke
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Old April 5th, 2006, 09:06 PM
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hmmm - where to get a delicious drink - begins with a B, famous singer
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Old April 5th, 2006, 09:59 PM
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Greeting Me-lady Mary
Would that be John Bonham, The man behind the ferocious drums of Led Zeppelin

Tell me it's soooo....

Less Antzy today though ...

To the Cruise
Sir Duke

ps...how do you do that
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Old April 5th, 2006, 10:00 PM
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Greeting Me-lady Mary
Would that be John Bonham, The man behind the ferocious drums of Led Zeppelin

Tell me it's soooo....

Less Antzy today though ...

To the Cruise
Sir Duke

ps...how do you do that
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Old April 6th, 2006, 04:55 AM
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Default Sorry Duke

next hint - it is a place.
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Old April 6th, 2006, 08:46 PM
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Greetings From hOUR gang
Mary
u got me on this one.....
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