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  #1 (permalink)  
Old December 30th, 2006, 08:42 PM
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Default Singles cruise a good way to seek a long term relationship?

This summer, I am looking into going on a singles cruise. Have not yet picked a date or cruise or anything like that.

My question is, is a singles cruise a good thing to do to seek a long term relationship?

I am 28 years old, and thought I might try a singles cruise, as I have tried everything possible in my local area from church singles clubs to dating services, all with no luck.

It seems like no matter what the activity, the other singles are generations older than me, and there always seems to be other guys my age looking, but very few if any ladies looking for a relationship.

I am looking for a partner who is down to earth, and is looking for the same things that I am looking for: To eventually settle down and get married, buy a house, and have a family.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not out looking to find someone and immediatly rush into marriage, but would like to find someone who is looking for the same things as me.

The other problem I have, is that I come across to people as kind of "Nerdy." I am not exactly the most self-confident person you will ever meet. I am the type that if I go to a dance, and start trying to get a girl to dance with me, they will run in the other direction.

While I am a very talkative person, for some reason, I am kind of shy when I come upon someone I would like to get to know. I am not a very good conversation starter with people who I don't know at all. It seems like even when I do spark someone's interest, I always mess up and make the girl I am talking to think I am weird, and they lose interest.

Now, I realize that just because I am going on a singles cruise does not guarantee that I will find someone just because I am going on the cruise. But I also don't want to put out the money to go on one, if I am just going to get the same result that I get when I go to a bar, or local singles activities.

When I go out by myself, I find that I feel very uptight, and it is very difficult for me to interact with others, and what I need is to get into a type of environment where I can loosen up (if that is possible ).

What would be nice, is to have someone I know go with me, to give me some guidance, but so far have had no luck finding anyone who wants to go with me, as my friends are all married and/or shy themselves.

What are your thoughts? Any advice is appriciated.

Pat
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Old December 31st, 2006, 12:55 AM
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Hi Pat, I know how you feel and believe me, many have been in your shoes, so don't get down on yourself. 8)
Sounds like you will enjoy cruising, even if you don't meet "Miss right". Many of us are really shy until we loosen up on about day 2 of a cruise. The thing is we can be ourselves on a ship and have nothing to fear, because let's face...we will NEVER see these people again.
People have a tendency to cruise only to be pleasantly surprised that others truly do like them more than what they realized.
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Old December 31st, 2006, 03:07 PM
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I always tell people that if they do find romance on a cruise there is always the question to be asked--what next? It's hard to keep a relationship going when people live many miles apart. Then there is to be considered what happens if the romance continues, i.e. which one of you is going to quit your job, leave your family and move to where the other lives?

But true love can--and does--happen on a cruise; however, I would never purposely go on a cruise in hopes of finding romance. The odds are against it, and if that is your sole reason for going you must be prepared to face disappointment.

By all means, though, do go on an organized singles cruise. To go alone these days means you might find yourself alone for the length of the cruise. Cruise lines are giving such great discounts the more cabins booked which results in families going, reunions, etc., etc. Seldom do you see solo cruisers anymore. And if you go on a line like NCL with their "free style cruising" you can't even ask to be seated at a table with other singles if any happen to be onboard.

Go to Cruisemates singles section and click to the singles cruise calendar and you might find the perfect date, the perfect cruise. Good luck!
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Old January 1st, 2007, 01:09 AM
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"To go alone these days means you might find yourself alone for the length of the cruise. Cruise lines are giving such great discounts the more cabins booked which results in families going, reunions, etc., etc. Seldom do you see solo cruisers anymore. "
That's a good point . It's not at ALL like the old "Love Boat" TV show, and those who have never traveled via ship failed to realize that fact. Another key point is these ships are getting BIGGER AND BIGGER each year. WOW. My first cruise was on the Commodore Enchanted Capri which carried around 400 passengers, my next will have around 3,000 fellow guest. A solo person could easily get lost in the crowd if they aren't careful.
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Old January 1st, 2007, 06:52 PM
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Great post Pat.

Since posting, I have read many of your articles on the singles section of the site.

If I do decide to take a singles cruise, I am probably going to go late this summer.

As I mentioned in my ealier post though, I am still kind of nervous. What you said in your post and in your article makes sense, and I can understand that you mar or may not find a long-term relationship by going on a cruise.

What concerns me more than anything though, is that I am not a person that really knows how to interact with girls, as I the only kind of experiance I have had with girls is first dates. (and in my 28 years, that has happened twice.)

In all honesty, I really don't know how to approach them, or what to say to start a conversation with someone to get their interest. I have no idea how to read body language, and things like that. And, say I do find someone, and we are both interested in each other (Which honestly THAT in itself would be a huge step for me) Where do I take it from there? If, say, she we get to talking, and she decides to go and do her thing, say talk to others, ETC., how do I tell weather she is interested in getting to know me more, or if she is no longer interested, and that's why she walked away? After all, I don't want to follo her around like a shadow, but I also don't want her to think I lost interest in her if I go and do my own thing. The whole thing about giving people space, I am just not familiar with at all. After all, yes, I want to give someone space, but I also don't want them to think that I am no longer interested in them.

What I need more than anything is guidance for developing social skills. After all, I want to go on a cruise to interact and talk with other singles, even if it will just turn into a friendship or 2 for the legnth of the cruise.

But where do I turn to find it? I have no clue.

My main concern is, that I don't want to put out the money for a cruise, just to end up with the same result that I do when I go out locally - and that is, where I find myself sitting alone, because no one wants to talk to me. I will be a nervous wreck at first, but want to be able to include myself in the crowd, so to speak. I want to have fun "With" the crowd, not "Watching" the crowd, if you know what I mean.
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Old January 2nd, 2007, 03:58 PM
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Pat 1978,

I have read your post here and thought I would just make a few comments. Everyone has given you good info. As a single I can understand some of your frustration BUT I think you need to be able to have fun on your own as well. I have learned after being single that you need to able to have fun on your own and not depend on someone doing it for you. When I book cruises I first look at them from what I think I will enjoy and how I can have fun using my vacation time wisely. Meeting other singles especially single women is a major plus when it happens but I just can't depend on that making or breaking my vacation or I would have had a lot of wasted vacations out there. I have met some very nice singles and married couples on cruises over the years. I have made many new friends via cruising. You are young and there are opportunities out there to have fun on your cruise if you decide to take one. I think you chances of having more singles to hang around are greatly improved if you go on an organized Singles cruise with a large group. Having said that, I would only go if you feel you will have a great time whether you meet up with a bunch of great people or not. Plan a singles cruise to a location you want to see and think of some things you want to do even by yourself if need be. If you book a Singles group they will likely have a board all to themselves to start chatting about the cruise and things everyone wants to do. Make sure you get involved so people learn your name and who you are before you actually meet them. By doing this when you meet on the ship, some of the difficulty of meeting people has already taken place to some degree. As for me, I usually cruise on my own because I have no problem planning what I want to do and I will have a good time even if I don't end up meeting as many people as I wanted to. My last cruise had a Singles group on it and they really seemed to have fun and hung around each other. They had been talking on boards for months before the sailing. I was fortunate to meet some of them and have made some friends but none of them live in St. Louis but some were from Chicago which isn't too far from me. In the future I may consider going with a group just because I had a second had observation of what it was all about. There are a good number of people on this board that go with the groups and they all seem to enjoy each cruise they go on. Finding a room mate will make this cheaper for you as well. Best of luck and remember to plan on having fun no matter what happens, think positive.
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Old January 3rd, 2007, 12:34 AM
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"Meeting other singles especially single women is a major plus when it happens but I just can't depend on that making or breaking my vacation or I would have had a lot of wasted vacations out there. "
Case in point is last year, Carnival Legend 3 solo men, one solo woman and the one woman didn't speak much English.
The wasn't a single cruise, so if meeting single females is a MUST, go with a special singles cruise package.
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Old January 3rd, 2007, 07:55 PM
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[quote="Vincev"]Pat,

I have read your post here and thought I would just make a few comments. Everyone has given you good info. As a single I can understand some of your frustration
>>>>>>>>>>>
I think I should point out that the "Pat" referred to here and in the other posts under this subject is not me--Pat Hagan, your singles editor and singles message board monitor. It is someone else.
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Old January 3rd, 2007, 09:30 PM
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[quote="Pat Hagan Singles Editor"]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vincev
Pat,

I have read your post here and thought I would just make a few comments. Everyone has given you good info. As a single I can understand some of your frustration
>>>>>>>>>>>
I think I should point out that the "Pat" referred to here and in the other posts under this subject is not me--Pat Hagan, your singles editor and singles message board monitor. It is someone else.
Pat, I put 1978 on his name now to help clarify, sorry.
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Old January 3rd, 2007, 11:17 PM
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Sorry about any misunderstandings about my name. Probably should have picked another name to register with to avoid confusion.
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Old January 9th, 2007, 09:55 AM
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Hey Pat 1978
I cruise by my self all the time,
I find it is best to let them come to you, I have not been on a cruise when I wasnt approached by a single woman wanting to hang out.
I never chase anyone or ask them to dance and most of them I didnt even have to sleep with. maybe your trying too hard. Im no Romeo or Brad Pitt but it works for me to just relax be yourself and hang out in a place that you are intrested in and people with the same intrests will be there. small talk starts and just stay calm and ride the wave. anytime I tried to go out with the intention of meeting someone it most always fails.
because I just dont have any Game. I never know what to say and get intimidated by good looking women however once I loosen up with them I do fine.
you will find one when you least expect it just be yourself.

Just my experience
Michael
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