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Old October 24th, 2007, 05:11 AM
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Default Are singles cruises meat markets?

Are singles cruises meat markets?

The question has been raised several times. I am not sure why this is such a hot-button for some people, but the answer appears to be that some of them are more so than others, and that most groups, especially the larger ones, have some aspect of that kind of behavior.

The point, however, is that on a singles group cruise no one is obligated to do anything they do not want to do. If you really don't want to talk to someone who is making you uncomfortable (because they seem to have sex on their minds) then just say "excuse me, but I don't think we have much in common" and end the conversation.

If you are bothered by seeing such behavior, then I will say your sensitivity to it is much higher than mine. Sex-talk and "hooking up" is a pervasive theme in our society. I would suggest you could just ignore it. With a luck you could find it amusing to study the human sexual behavior in a group in a biological sense. I can get behind that. watching people is fun.

And apparently some people say this sort of stuff just "doesn't happen." My answer would be "it doesn't happen to everyone, but I suspect it does happen to some." And its not a big deal to me if it does.

If I were single, and I met someone on a cruise I was truly attracted to, I would probably "make a move" myself. But I would do it in such a way that I am asking the lady how she feels about it, and taking her response seriously. If i really care about her, I don't want to blow it by moving too fast. On the other hand, I have had a few dalliances in my day, and if sex were the only thing on my mind I think I would be able to tell who was going to go along with that pretty quickly.

I see no problem with people wanting to "hook up" in a singles cruise, they are adults who I know ALL practice safe sex. What would be wrong, however, is the person who does not know how to take no for an answer, or even if they take the "no" but they continue to make comments that are uncalled for - in a sexual sense, for example. Unfortunately, some people don't know when their sense of humor crosses the line from "edgy-funny" to "offensive-not funny."

I see a lot of "edgy" humor on TV these days on cable, and frankly I can deal with it because the person on the screen is just pixels, but in real life a lot of comedy I hear really wouldn't be acceptable to me in a live, mixed gender setting with people I do not know very well.

I suggest people always try to use good manners, you never go wrong that way. And remember, some people are not there for sex, and if you are it is not a personal reflection on you. By the same token, if consenting adults are doing their thing and not bothering you, don't bother them either, just mind your own business - is my advice. Hooking up may not be your thing, but a lot of things are not my thing, but I don't judge the people who do them.

So, why am I talking about it? Some people apparently get uncomfortable in situations where there are people with sex on their minds, especially when they feel like a "target". They feel pressured to perform, or else just don't feel any affinity with that lifestyle, or else just get tired of the sheer numbers of times they get hit on. If you are one of those people, I am sorry, but you took a singles cruise, expect a few people to hit on you. if it gets really bad, find someone to talk to that makesyou look like you are already "connected." And so, once again, I suggest to the people looking to hook up - don't waste your time on the people who are not into it, move on.

How can I say this so cavalierly? These are ships, and these are people most often from distant hometowns from your own. If you get together it is very most likely a short term thing and both of you know it, at least on some level. If you are serious about a person and really want to know them romantically beyond the cruise, but they are not interested in hooking up on the ship, then become one of the nice guys and just hang out with them and pursue the relationship long term. They will respect you for it.

I know i haven't covered all the bases here, there are too many potential situations. But I opened up the topic because there seems to be a vast disagreement about what happens on these cruises, and what part of what happens is acceptable behavior.

I say it is (almost) all behavior is acceptable, as long as the people you are hanging with are on the same wavelength. But if they are not, then I hope you will be smart enough to respect that there are different points of view and either play by their rules of etiquette, or go somewhere else...

Comments on what kind of conduct happens on these cruises and the best ways to deal with it are appreciated. And please remember to respect peoples different opinions and experiences. People DO experience different things on the same cruises, so I won't tolerate anyone saying someone else does not know what they are talking about.

Also - for the record, I DO recommend organized singles group cruises over cruising solo, because I am a male and I am basically shy about talking to strangers. I appreciate a structured setting where I can get to know new people. The question is how to use it to your advantage (the recommended behavior) and how not go too far sexually so that it rubs some people the wrong way (so to speak )
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Old October 24th, 2007, 12:24 PM
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Default Re: Are singles cruises meat markets?

When first cruising HAL in 1987 the line had 3 ships and you would meet interesting folks from around the globe - a small band of adventurers. My great aunt and her neighbor made the newspaper when they cruised the world in the 1960's - now who cares? Today HAL has 14 ships and cruising has the exclusivity of riding a Greyhound bus.

I say cruises went from meet market to meat markets when they became cattle boats. Mooooooo........
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Old October 24th, 2007, 04:17 PM
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Default Re: Are singles cruises meat markets?

This is really sad. I cannot believe you're wasting your time on this lame subject. These grown adults should know how to behave at public functions. To be honest, I thought ibcurzn's inital observation was judgmental:

"My initial impression of singles cruises was of a collection of misfits, social outcasts and desparately lonely older women and men trying hard to pretend to finally have friends to hang out with." -- iBcurz'n

However, after several childish attacks happened on this public forum, I have to agree with iBcurz'n. These adults are dysfunctional. I'm not suprise if these adults do not have any spiritual connection in their lives. Perhaps these grown should spend less time cruising and save more money on shock therapy, no?
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Old October 24th, 2007, 04:42 PM
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I have only been on one singles cruise. That cruise was indeed a meat market.

It was no one's fault and there were no bad people in our group.

In my opinion, in today's world of instant gratification, people are more interested in satisfying an internal need/want/desire than they are in getting to know someone and making friends.

Therefore, some people go on these singles cruises with an agenda of "me-ism".

I have been single most of my adult life. At this point in the game (49), I have learned to cherish my friendships more than any love affair. Therefore I like to meet people, talk to them, watch them at ease and enjoy being around them more than I want to seek out potential lovers.

Like I mentioned on my of my posts, there was a man on the ship who was my mind's fantasy!!! Anyway, in keeping with my style, I was one of his shipboard buddies. We (I) enjoyed the comraderie so much better than had we just hooked up for a doomed 7-day love affair.

One thing I can testify to . . . . . most of my friendships have outlived ALL of my love affairs and, in most cases, my marriage.

I would so much rather be your friend for a year than your lover for a week.

But that is just me.
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Old October 24th, 2007, 06:18 PM
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Well, for the record, The question was never "is that a good or bad thing?"

I was actually trying to encourage the people who did NOT think so to come out and have their rightful say, Or if they are and you are into it, then tell us why.

but I guess I might have misjudged their desire to do so in a rational debate. If I don't get anyone who wants to debate mannerly I will just take this down, a one-sided topic is no fun to read.

Not having been one on, but based on what I have witnessed, my guess is that the element is there. But, personally I don't mind it if that is what you want to do. I'm not going to go bible-thumping about abstinence on a singles' cruise

S***w your brains out if you want to! :o

I don't care. But I guess some people do. So, where I was hoping this would go is "how to deal with that" if you aren't into it. And how people who ARE into it can deal with those who are not.

I guess I am just tired of this topic being treated like it doesn't exist or should be hushed up. If they are meat markets, lets find a more respectful name for them, like...

"Sexually-interested singles seeking seamates" (um, no swinging couples classified ads allowed, ok?)
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Old October 25th, 2007, 04:06 PM
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Default cruises meat market

my first cruise was 10 years ago, and the girl i went with had no problem. she hooked up with the comedian on board our cruise plus some guy from new york. of course i met no one because i am not a barbie figure and she was. i swear i would never go on a cruise again, but i am going on a soap opera cruise in 3 weeks. i am going to meet the stars, so i could care less about meeting someone (it wouldn't happen anyway) the closest i will get to a man will be the soap stars when i give them hugs and put my arm around them when i get my pictures taken with them
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Old October 25th, 2007, 05:55 PM
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I'll be going on my first ever cruise in Dec. I'm going solo and to my knowledge, there aren't any singles groups going. I spoke with my TA about the subject of this thread(?), because of the rather over the top concern about other peoples' behavior. I'm writing because Paul was hoping for a balanced view from someone within each "camp"; not a judgmental view from a "disinterested" observer. Being someone who loves women and finds nothing wrong with the 2 consenting adults side of the discussion, let me offer one thought. When we go to our local movie theatres, the picture isn't coming from the screen, rather from the projector. We are the projectors of our lives. No one of us sees things exactly like anyone else. We are the sum total of our life experiences and our actions and reactions stem from those.
To finish, I am still looking forward to my inaugural cruise.......and I'm still hopin' I get lucky.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 08:16 PM
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Large ship, out of Florida, good line - that's in your favor. Can you dance, do conversation and dress sharp? If so, get your game on! If not, brush up.


Quote:
Originally Posted by billyo17
I'll be going on my first ever cruise in Dec. I'm going solo and to my knowledge, there aren't any singles groups going. I spoke with my TA about the subject of this thread(?), because of the rather over the top concern about other peoples' behavior. I'm writing because Paul was hoping for a balanced view from someone within each "camp"; not a judgmental view from a "disinterested" observer. Being someone who loves women and finds nothing wrong with the 2 consenting adults side of the discussion, let me offer one thought. When we go to our local movie theatres, the picture isn't coming from the screen, rather from the projector. We are the projectors of our lives. No one of us sees things exactly like anyone else. We are the sum total of our life experiences and our actions and reactions stem from those.
To finish, I am still looking forward to my inaugural cruise.......and I'm still hopin' I get lucky.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 08:44 PM
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I have limited choice as to what I can do. VTG is an AMerican company, which means I wouldn't deal with them because I am Canadian. I still prefer to cruise solo with no limits or restrictions to what I have to do or want to do. Group cruises are great for those who want to go, but not for me.

Yes, I like my solitude, it can get lonely at certain times, but the freedom of travelling solo is wonderful!
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Old October 25th, 2007, 08:45 PM
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Thanks Dive......Been told I got game. I guess I'll find out. 8)
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Old October 25th, 2007, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billyo17
To finish, I am still looking forward to my inaugural cruise.......and I'm still hopin' I get lucky.
Oh my gosh!! I had such a sucky day at the office today, and this just made me laugh. Thanks - I needed this!!

I hope you get lucky too! I happen to be going on a Dec 1 cruise -- what one are you going on???

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Old October 26th, 2007, 08:42 AM
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I'll be on the Liberty that's going on the 8th. I spent a few months in Ft. Lauderdale last winter. Enjoyed your town quite a bit.
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