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  #1 (permalink)  
Old February 11th, 2002, 11:10 AM
Mike Callum
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Default Order of Service

I believe that cruises are in many ways an ideal way to vacation but one thing really bothers me about them: their tradition of serving women first at meals. On my last cruise, with Celebrity, our waiter not only gave women each of their courses before any of the men, but if they ordered more than one choice of any particular course, they received both before any of the men received anything at all. It was humiliating to be treated like a second class citizen. These female guests, who accepted the benefit of old-time etiquette, refused however to show a commensurate amount of grace and did not wait until everyone was served before they began to eat. I felt terribly embarrassed and uncomfortable to be sitting there with nothing in front of me while these cows were eating their desserts.
I would like to know what others think or if any women can justify what is obviously a sexist policy.
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Old February 11th, 2002, 11:54 AM
Robocop
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I certainly hope this was an attempt to be humorous and you are not really this way. Your attemp at humor failed IMHO, as a gentleman I would be appaled if the waiter did anything but what you discribed and most likely correct his actions if he did. I was tempted to delete that post because of the "cow" remark but deceided that the ladies here would be able to take care of you better. <>
Jim
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Old February 11th, 2002, 12:02 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

It is simnple. Women are nicer than men. I'd rather set at table with cows instead of bulls.
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Old February 11th, 2002, 12:23 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Mike, come on now, tell us your real problem. Why do you feel intimidated by women?
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Old February 11th, 2002, 01:42 PM
worktocruise
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Default Re: Order of Service

Mooooooo! Bring on the food! I just couldn't resist!
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Old February 11th, 2002, 02:26 PM
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Can you spell "G E N T L E M A N"?
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Old February 11th, 2002, 02:54 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

COW PIES! If you believe women are nicer than men then you haven't met my wife yet!!

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Thomas
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Old February 11th, 2002, 03:02 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Mike, cruising is an exercise in manners, gentility and decorum. I like being served first, but would certainly observe the courtesy to wait until all were served before "digging in" -- or unless those who had not been served prompted me not to wait.
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Old February 11th, 2002, 07:03 PM
CHARLENE HEMPLER
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Default Re: Order of Service

Well Mr. Manners! If I am a Cow, then what does that make you??? I can't believe some people.
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Old February 11th, 2002, 07:33 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

To tell the truth, I never paid any attention as to the order of meals being served, mainly because I was taught that you didn't start eating until the entire table was served their meal. In that case it would not matter as to who had their meal in front of them first???

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Old February 11th, 2002, 07:44 PM
DonnaR
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Default Re: Order of Service

I agree with Donna. I was taught that unless there is a really good reason why others food is going to be a lot later than mine to wait until everyone is served their entree. If there is a sizable delay in the service of others at my table, I've ended up sending food back to be reheated. And I've made note of this on my comment card at the end of the cruise.
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Old February 11th, 2002, 09:17 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Was recently on HAL and was totally shocked that they DIDN'T serve ladies first. IMHO, serving ladies first is a small but wonderful classy piece of etiquette.
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Old February 11th, 2002, 10:53 PM
The Other Mike
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I recall one old lady at our table let out a rather large burp when my wife and I traveled the SOS back in 1996. I must say she kept us well entertained. Do I have the right to call her a cow or a pig?
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Old February 12th, 2002, 12:21 AM
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Hey ...

Would one of those first-served "cows" have been your wife?
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Old February 12th, 2002, 01:20 AM
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Mike, I really have to agree with you that this tradition is, at best, an outdated one and it doesn't really have a place in this age. All we've strived for as women to become equal means we can no longer expect the preferential treatment our grandmothers received. Thanks for telling it like it is!
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Old February 12th, 2002, 01:23 AM
Leroy
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Default Re: Order of Service

Jim, With that attitude You would make a terrific servant. I assume you have a day job as a butler!
Robocop wrote:
>
> I certainly hope this was an attempt to be humorous and you
> are not really this way. Your attemp at humor failed IMHO, as
> a gentleman I would be appaled if the waiter did anything but
> what you discribed and most likely correct his actions if he
> did. I was tempted to delete that post because of the "cow"
> remark but deceided that the ladies here would be able to
> take care of you better. <>
> Jim
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 08:39 AM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Dare I ask what you thing about putting women and children in front for the lifeboat drill?

Jo
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 09:20 AM
worktocruise
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Default Re: Order of Service

I, for one, still like to be treated like a lady. Yes, call me old-fashioned, but I do expect the "preferential treatment our grandmothers received".
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Old February 12th, 2002, 12:02 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

i would have to think about that one...lol
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Old February 12th, 2002, 12:04 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Lets see.....you want special treatment and you want equality.....I am confused <G>
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

I don't: equality means no special treatment, lifeboats or otherwise!
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 12:40 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Assume for a minute our situations were reversed: you were always served last as a matter of policy. would you still want to spell L-A-D-Y? Could you do it if I gave you the L, A, and D?
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 01:28 PM
jp garnier
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Default Re: Order of Service

Some of the comments on this topic certainly bring home why some passengers chose to have a table for two. Anyone who calls a fellow passenger a cow should be fed in a bullpen somewhere. JP
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 01:33 PM
jp garnier
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Maybe it is my advanced age, but I still consider it a privilege to be able to extend courtesy and respect to ladies around me. Equality can be so sterile. JP
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Old February 12th, 2002, 02:35 PM
worktocruise
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Default Re: Order of Service

I NEVER said anything about "equality"....because we all know in the real world it still does not exist (at least not in the workplace)! I still like the old-fashioned courtesy of being treated like a lady. Yes, I still say "thank you" when a man opens a door for me. It ticks me off when a man lets a door slam in my face. However, I extend the same courtesy to others by holding a door when I see them coming towards it....male or female.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 03:24 PM
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Default Re: Order of Service

so....we are dealing just with common courtesy....has nothing to do with gender. Like you, when I hold a door open for someone, it has nothing to do with who it is. My point exactly. I treat people in a like manner to how they treat me...nothing to do with male or female. I see no need to treat a woman any differently than I would treat a male.
Rick
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old February 12th, 2002, 04:12 PM
Brett
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Default Re: Order of Service

I completely agree: gender shouldn't be an issue either way. Just treat everyone with respect and courtesy and keep it simple. Serve the meal as it comes out...don't put one sex before the other.
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Old February 13th, 2002, 09:44 AM
jr
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Default Re: Order of Service

As a matter of fact and etiquette - when seated at a large table (I assume 4 or more places), it IS appropriate to begin eating one's food when it arrives - whether your are male or female. If not - it gets COLD. This is straight from Miss Manners. So don't call the females at the table cows - just wait for your HOT food and allow them theirs!!! (And maybe the women receive theirs before you to allow you time to loosen your belt and top button)
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old February 13th, 2002, 10:14 AM
jp garnier
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Default Re: Order of Service

In fact, most people with some level of grace and without bovine predisposition, will suggest to others to begin eatingso the food does not get cold. JP
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Old February 14th, 2002, 10:53 AM
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Default Re: Order of Service

Hmmm ...

Seems to me that all entrees (and other courses) are served at the same time to the entire table and there is very little danger of food growing cold in the two minutes (if that) it takes to put the plates on the table.

Serving women first is an old-fashioned nicety. As is a man (notice I am not using the words "lady" and "gentleman") standing aside so a woman can pass through a door first.

When a woman enters a room, comes to table or is otherwise introduced, men should stand for her. She, in turn should say, "Oh, don't stand up."

Unfortunately, those kinds of manners went out with the T-Rex. And it's a darned shame.

Different folks have diffferent standards. I had to teach my daughter, once she was 18, that SHE did not have to stand for adults. My Three Sons, on the other hand, will still stand for any of my female guests regardless of their advanced ages (the sons', not the guests'). Or they will hear about it from me. One lady said to me after a party where the youthful contingent was in attendance, "Are your sons on springs or do they bungee jump?"

Good manners seem to be an anachronism these days. More's the pity.
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