I believe that cruises are in many ways an ideal way to vacation but one thing really bothers me about them: their tradition of serving women first at meals. On my last cruise, with Celebrity, our waiter not only gave women each of their courses before any of the men, but if they ordered more than one choice of any particular course, they received both before any of the men received anything at all. It was humiliating to be treated like a second class citizen. These female guests, who accepted the benefit of old-time etiquette, refused however to show a commensurate amount of grace and did not wait until everyone was served before they began to eat. I felt terribly embarrassed and uncomfortable to be sitting there with nothing in front of me while these cows were eating their desserts.
I would like to know what others think or if any women can justify what is obviously a sexist policy.
I certainly hope this was an attempt to be humorous and you are not really this way. Your attemp at humor failed IMHO, as a gentleman I would be appaled if the waiter did anything but what you discribed and most likely correct his actions if he did. I was tempted to delete that post because of the "cow" remark but deceided that the ladies here would be able to take care of you better. <>
Mike, cruising is an exercise in manners, gentility and decorum. I like being served first, but would certainly observe the courtesy to wait until all were served before "digging in" -- or unless those who had not been served prompted me not to wait.
To tell the truth, I never paid any attention as to the order of meals being served, mainly because I was taught that you didn't start eating until the entire table was served their meal. In that case it would not matter as to who had their meal in front of them first???
I agree with Donna. I was taught that unless there is a really good reason why others food is going to be a lot later than mine to wait until everyone is served their entree. If there is a sizable delay in the service of others at my table, I've ended up sending food back to be reheated. And I've made note of this on my comment card at the end of the cruise.
I recall one old lady at our table let out a rather large burp when my wife and I traveled the SOS back in 1996. I must say she kept us well entertained. Do I have the right to call her a cow or a pig?
Mike, I really have to agree with you that this tradition is, at best, an outdated one and it doesn't really have a place in this age. All we've strived for as women to become equal means we can no longer expect the preferential treatment our grandmothers received. Thanks for telling it like it is!
Jim, With that attitude You would make a terrific servant. I assume you have a day job as a butler!
> I certainly hope this was an attempt to be humorous and you
> are not really this way. Your attemp at humor failed IMHO, as
> a gentleman I would be appaled if the waiter did anything but
> what you discribed and most likely correct his actions if he
> did. I was tempted to delete that post because of the "cow"
> remark but deceided that the ladies here would be able to
> take care of you better. <>
I NEVER said anything about "equality"....because we all know in the real world it still does not exist (at least not in the workplace)! I still like the old-fashioned courtesy of being treated like a lady. Yes, I still say "thank you" when a man opens a door for me. It ticks me off when a man lets a door slam in my face. However, I extend the same courtesy to others by holding a door when I see them coming towards it....male or female.
so....we are dealing just with common courtesy....has nothing to do with gender. Like you, when I hold a door open for someone, it has nothing to do with who it is. My point exactly. I treat people in a like manner to how they treat me...nothing to do with male or female. I see no need to treat a woman any differently than I would treat a male.
As a matter of fact and etiquette - when seated at a large table (I assume 4 or more places), it IS appropriate to begin eating one's food when it arrives - whether your are male or female. If not - it gets COLD. This is straight from Miss Manners. So don't call the females at the table cows - just wait for your HOT food and allow them theirs!!! (And maybe the women receive theirs before you to allow you time to loosen your belt and top button)
Seems to me that all entrees (and other courses) are served at the same time to the entire table and there is very little danger of food growing cold in the two minutes (if that) it takes to put the plates on the table.
Serving women first is an old-fashioned nicety. As is a man (notice I am not using the words "lady" and "gentleman") standing aside so a woman can pass through a door first.
When a woman enters a room, comes to table or is otherwise introduced, men should stand for her. She, in turn should say, "Oh, don't stand up."
Unfortunately, those kinds of manners went out with the T-Rex. And it's a darned shame.
Different folks have diffferent standards. I had to teach my daughter, once she was 18, that SHE did not have to stand for adults. My Three Sons, on the other hand, will still stand for any of my female guests regardless of their advanced ages (the sons', not the guests'). Or they will hear about it from me. One lady said to me after a party where the youthful contingent was in attendance, "Are your sons on springs or do they bungee jump?"
Good manners seem to be an anachronism these days. More's the pity.