I realize ball caps these days are part of the outfit (in some cases) but wearing caps in the dining room, IMO, is in bad taste. I've not encountered this at dinner yet, but it is not uncommon to see this at breakfast and lunch. I've always removed my cap when indoors as I was taught that was good manners and never, never wear one when dining.
Is wearing caps in the dining room against dress codes? I've not seen that publically stated in any literature I've read.
I do not think you will find a "code" that says what you can and cannot wear. A cap when seated at the table is quite simply bad manners and poor upbringing. You see it all the time now, that doesn't make it right. With only one exception, it is never correct for a man to be wearing a hat indoors. That exception is Rick's lucky cap when worn at the Casino.
Oh sure............ yea, right..............you weren't wearing your hat..........sure ! I can smell a rotten cheese slice when I touch one, or something like that. Give it up Rick, send the hat dude, we promise not to use up all it's luck <g>
Up here in God's country (the Ottawa Valley) we were also taught as children not to wear a hat indoors. I never really knew the reason why....however I grew up in a generation where for the most part, you just accepted whatever your elders said (whatever happened to those good old days?) A couple of years ago I was stumped by my eldest son (now 14) who questioned the real reason behind it. I was once told it has something to do with honouring those who have died in wars, but I'm not 100% sure on that. If anyone out there knows the real reason behind the tradition, I would love to know.
Regardless, my children and I, as well as the hockey teams that I coach will continue to honour the "code" (though I can assure you, this makes me very unpopular at times !)
Good for you Jimmy, manners are never out of style in my opinion. And good parenting. I don't know the reason why caps are not suppose to be worn indoors but since it is considered bad manners to do so, it irks me when I see it in the dining room on what is suppose to be an upscale vacation.
As Gallagher always says, "Do anything, but do it with style!"
You never cease to amaze me, Pam. Where do you get your resolve to hunt down this stuff which confuses us ?
Anyway, after reading that piece I am more confused now; in an elevator......yes, unless a woman is present, or is it no.......until she gets off?.............or is it yes, if she's got one on too???? I don't know, I think I'll just get rid of all my hats and with them the confusion!!!
I have a question. What is everyone's age. I had not really thought about wearing a hat indoors being bad manners. I guess I never really wore hats growing up so it wasn't a talked about subject. Here again I'm only 33. I always take my hat off for the Pledge of alligiance, and singing the national anthem. I just didn't realize wearing my hat from my cabin to the pool was considered bad manners.
Please don't take my age question as disrespectful. I just wonder if it is one of those things that is just not taught any more.
Wearing a hat indoors is considered bad manners. Did you read Pamda's link on the subject? It is very informative, if a bit confusing. However, as you have stated, it may not be as frowned upon today when you are merely travelling from the cabin to the pool.
Social ettiquette has slid some over the years possibly because of two income families, or some other social factor. It used to be normal to dress up to fly on a plane, for instance. But good manners is never a bad thing.
I am not going to tell you how old I am, but I may have underwear older than you are.
I *did* teach my sons not to wear caps or hats inside people's homes. Apparently other moms of my generation missed that little nugget of politeness, given the number of shocked looks on young gents' faces when I told them no hats in MY house.
One kid once said, "But, Mrs. Kane, I am having a bad hair day."
Kids are also not being taught to rise when an adult enters the room for the first time, what silverware to use, and boys are not being taught to put the toilet seat down.
I even taught my kids that adults were to be adressed as Mr. and Mrs. , not Kate and Fred. My mother pounded that one into me so hard, that even at my advanced age I refer to HER peers as "Mrs. Whatever."
Good manners ... or maybe I should say "old style manners" ... are definitely on the wane. My opinion.
Good post Pam, er Mrs. Kane. Along the lines of which silverware to use is also the proper way to hold the fork. It drives me crazy (short trip) to see people hold the fork as they would hold a shovel. I travel often on business with a peer and consequently we dine together at night; when he bows over the plate and shovels food into his mouth with the motion of moving gravel I feel sorry that he was never properly trained on etiquette. I want to say something to him but just can't.
It also doesn't help when you have some teachers re-inforcing bad habits/manners. My son recently graduated from grade 8 and I helped chaperone their year end class trip. I was absolutely horrified to find out that one of their teachers found it totally acceptable for the kids to refer to him by his surname only! Not as in "Mr (last name), but as in Hey (last name) ! Its enough to drive us parents (who try to hold on to traditional values) insane.
When I wrote my answer above, I wrote out a whole commentary about a decline in manners , social skills and social "graces" . The "hat" thing being just the tip of that iceberg. I then deleted it to avoid this becoming a lecture on 21st century social behavior. Many , if not virtually all of the gripes we read about in this part of this board can be traced back to a simple lack of manners or social skills. Good for you for insisting on a higher standard than society as a whole does in raising your children.
I don't care about the caps; there's a lot of more rude behaviors I encounter everyday. I realize that many people don't need to wear them but my boyfriends father was going through chemo and was wearing a baseball cap in church. The priest argued with him about wearing his cap. He has calcium deposits on his head and really doesn't want to show his bald head. I'm so glad I wasn't there, I have a hard enough time respecting priests, and that would have put me over the top.
I am constantly telling my 2 boys to remove their caps while indoors. Their mother and I argue about this topic quite a lot. She tells me it is an old custom that people dont need to do any more.......thrown to the wayside much like covering a puddle with your coat so the ladies wont get wet and dirty.
My wife has told the boys that they can wear the hats if it is in an informal place.......store, McDonald's, mall....etc..., but they must remove it in more formal situations. It STILL drives me crazy to see MY boys wearing them indoors! A hat is not a substitute for a comb!