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mbuckellew May 13th, 2003 05:14 PM

People who are rude to the staff.
On our 5/8 cruise on Imagination we were lucky enough to get a table for two at dinner. We were seated about three feet away from another couple at a table for two. It became a habit of ours to observe this couple.

The first night, the couple ordered off the menu with no substitutions. As the cruise went on, the man became more and more rude to the wait staff. While I see nothing wrong with making special requests, I got the feeling that this man was making demands simply because it gave him a feeling of power.

By the last night, his order was, "I'll have both salads. But with the vinagrette they served at lunch on both of them. And I'll take the turkey. But just with gravy. And I'll have the grilled zucchinni from this entrée but with the tomato sauce from this entrée."

The waiter brought him his first salad, and he said, "Do you have the other salad ready?" The waiter responded in the affirmative and instead of saying, "I'd like it now, please," the man simply pointed repeatedly at the table.

When the main course was brought out, there was something not right about it. The man argued (I couldn't quite hear) and then said, "just gimme the menu." He then pointed at various menu items explaining what he wanted. He finally just said condescendingly, "Just give me the turkey, just turkey, no side dishes."

I could see that the poor waiter was running himself ragged trying to provide good service to this man. But the man simply could not be pleased. I really sensed that he felt superior to the wait staff and felt like he could order them around because it gave him a feeling of power. He was not at all polite. Never once did he say "please" or "thank you."

What's up with people? Just because the staff are "mere" waiters and have foreign accents does not mean they do not have feelings. I felt like I was observing the way colonials treated the natives back in the time of imperialism.

It's fine if you have special meal requests. But at least be nice about it!

Michelle B.
Land Cruise, Britain and Belgium

Marc May 13th, 2003 05:37 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.

Some people's children!!!! Its strange how so many people need to feel superior to anybody. I have seen it on cruise ships too. It is unfortunate and embarassing. However, you see it in normal life also. TSA comes to mind, along with Chicago Policemen. Too bad there wasn't a way for you and Mark to put this guy in his place.

PapaBill May 13th, 2003 05:38 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Michelle , you are probably lucky that this person was at the adjacent table and not sharing a table with you. After beating up the waiter with his ridiculous requests he would have followed up by trying to get you to agree with him that his requests were not unreasonable. I don't know why people like that cruise because nothing satisfies them and they are never happy.
Two salads shouldn't have been aproblem, but the mix and match entre might have been. It would have been easier to order all the different entres and just eat what he wanted off of each one.
Think about the poor woman with him . She has to put up with him every day .
Probably the worst part of it will be that the inability to perform all these impossible tasks will end up in this guy using the situation as an excuse to stiff the wait staff on their tip.
Have you booked the round the world cruise for your honeymoon yet? Speaking of that, I can almost guarantee that you will have one guest at the wedding who is a clone of that guy. No matter what you serve, they will want something else.

Ginnie May 13th, 2003 11:13 PM

Re: Re: People who are rude to the staff.
On the second day of a 12 night cruise we had a new couple join our table for 8, as they didn't care for their "servers " on the first night, they said.
Well, we soon discovered that they were both extremely difficult and gave the waiter and assistant a hard time from the very beginning.
The gentleman orderd a "head of lettuce" to start, and when it was served, cut up, he complained that the head of lettuce was not intact, as he orderd it, and he refused to eat it this way. His wife ordered a little bit from this and a little bit from that entree etc., and most of that went back to the kitchen with changes requested. The second night was a repeat of this.
On the third night, when the lady was ordering her special menu, and couldn't decide what exactly to order, a very nice lady at our table said simply to her: "Why don't you order just anything, as you plan on sending it back again"..
Needless to say, they didn't show up at our table again, and we asked our waiter to please remove the 2 chairs, as we were not taking any more chances with complainers, and have them spoil our wonderful cruise.
We kept in touch with the other 2 couples, and sometimes still chuckle about it.

mbuckellew May 14th, 2003 10:04 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
We did decide we were lucky not to be seated with this couple. They were near enough that we could have initiated a conversation with them, or they with us, but we were glad nobody did.

We discussed what we would have said if we had actually been seated with them. I think the best response would have been to make a comment like, "I sure wouldn't want to be a waiter. They work so hard. The hours are ridiculous and the pay is poor. You really have to admire them for doing this job." Of course, I'm sure the guy wouldn't get it. But I would have felt better.

Haven't booked a cruise yet, PapaBill... saving my money... but you would be proud of me. I received a wedding invitation for a friend's wedding in the mail yesterday and am sending the response card off immediately.

Michelle B.
Land Cruise, Britain and Belgium

LisaK May 14th, 2003 10:38 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
what amuses me is that people like that think they are coming across as high, mighty and powerfull when it obvious from the responses here, that they are acting like immature little childern who should be sent to their rooms and given a time-out.

Mikey Sr. May 15th, 2003 07:05 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
I see people like this in the bank I work for everyday. A little money makes them a big shot. Well what would you expect. I was seated next too an old gent who gave our and his waiter a rather hard time. after the second day we never saw the old crabby sob. I guess he found another table. Thank God. I could not believe how he spoke to the staff. Celebrity service was well above standard. They pleased my wife, two sons and myself. I guess you can't please everyone.

Jamiegunter May 16th, 2003 11:13 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Thats awful, we had the nicest wait staff on the Paradise in Feburary! Our head waitress Alina learned our names and called us by our first names the whole cruise. I would have hated to sit with someone that would have treated her badly. THey would have got put in there place!

Set2cruz May 16th, 2003 11:35 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Hey Lisa, I didn't see Thomas post.

KTW35 May 17th, 2003 11:41 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
I expect good service when dining,but I have never even come close to acting in such a manner.I would not have been able to keep quiet if I had witnessed this incident.I would be polite but I would have made it clear to him he was acting incorrectly.Would I have been wrong to say anything? I am asking for have in the past done things of this nature.

Char May 17th, 2003 01:19 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
I am a waitress. I see this every day! People are very rude! They think because we are in the serving business, we must be second class citizens. Must be talked down to. Well it is a job. It pays the bills. It helps me to go on cruises. I make sure no one at my table are rude to the staff. Believe me...... i wont stand for it. Tehy will hear about it from me. I also tip extra.. They work hard for those tips. i know!!!!

deja May 17th, 2003 08:26 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
i've seen people like this too. Not just on cruise ships, but in restaurants on land. It's embarrassing to witness! It just makes me want to be extra nice to the wait staff - as if to say, "It's OK- not all people are rude demanding jack asses!".

Do you think maybe it makes them feel powerful or boosts their low self esteem somehow? I don't know - it's just a really awful thing to be exposed to :(

What that rude barbarian didn't realize is that the abused waiter might have spit on his two salads- then smiled at him.... <G>. One can only hope- LOL

KTW35 May 18th, 2003 01:23 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
So I guess I did right.Ok.Thanks.

dusty June 22nd, 2003 12:03 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
just saw this post.


i cant imagine treating a hard working person who only wants to "wait" on you hand and foot like that. what horrible manners (evidently has none at all). i would have made sure that i treated the waiter extra nice, given more compliments to him or her and passed him a little extra tip. im sure the service for others was wonderful and efficient. it was just this one 'person' who could not be satisfied with any service. pity the women who has to live with him, if there is one.

i cant wait to praise and thank all the ship staff. dusty

TamiM June 23rd, 2003 03:20 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
As a nurse in a 'county hospital' we see some of the same rude behavior. I guess a few just love to have someone finally under their thumb. The kicker is the occasional person who will tell a nurse "you have to do ____, I pay your salary!". Did I mention I work at the "county hospital"? Most people DON'T pay for their medical care or have insurance. They are on Medicare or Medicaid. That means that taxes are paying their bill. Or as we say "we are paying our own salary" :)

Also, it isn't a good idea to be rude to someone who controls your pain meds or the food you will be eating.


glalonzo June 23rd, 2003 08:32 AM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Well Tami.......first of all these people are sick and are probably not in the best of moods anyway. Also, I would bet that those people at one time in their life ALSO paid taxes. If they are on medicare or medicad they probably paid taxes MUCH longer then you have.

I have experienced rude nurses who treat their patients with disrespect and a carefree attitude. Frankly your comment proves to me the lack of respect some nurses get is well deserved.

marycruiser June 23rd, 2003 09:49 AM

Re: Re: People who are rude to the staff.
glalanzo -

Where do you get the impression that a person receiving Medicaid benefits has been a long-standing taxpayer? Do you even know what Medicaid is? If you are going to try and insult someone (in fact, an entire profession), at least get your facts straight. It's ignorant comments like yours which generate undeserved bias. Lighten up!

Post Edited (06-23-03 08:51)

char Hempler June 23rd, 2003 12:11 PM

Re: Re: Re: People who are rude to the staff.
There are no excuses to be RUDE to anyone! You are no more superior to anyone then the person who is being served or the server. I work in food service and I see a lot of people who believe that they may tell you off or be Rude to you because you are the server. Well it is my job.. My profession.. Do you see me going to the office you work at and being rude to you because you are at work. Use your head people. Do on to others as you would have them do on to you! This is the truest statement I have always remembered through my life. No one is superior to anyone else. We are all created equal! Now start acting like it! Char

mbuckellew June 23rd, 2003 02:05 PM

Re: Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Dusty - if he had been our waiter, I would have taken extra good care of him, but he wasn't our waiter. Also, I feel like his wife must have had a similar attitude; she didn't seem to care what he did. And, oddly, when we received extra glasses of water (we were thirsty after a long day at shore) she shot us the dirtiest look!

Michelle B.
Land Cruise, Britain and Belgium

SportsterJohn June 23rd, 2003 02:40 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Anyone who cleans up after me and waits on me hand and foot for a week deserves a real good tip. I am pretty sure that if the service is not good, it is because the waiter has too much to do.

glalonzo June 23rd, 2003 10:32 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Mary know what happens when you assume. Assuming someone who is on medicad NEVER paid taxes is just well, snobbish!!!! I was NOT "trying to insult" someone (or an entire profession) I was just merely responding to Tami's statements.

It is without a doubt, as in every profession, there are good and there are bad. My sister is a nurse and I admire her greatly, however, my sister would NEVER make the comments that Tami made, nor would she "expect" an ailing/sickly person to be "on their best behavior" simply because they do not have the monetary means to pay for the sky high prices of medical care.

marycruiser June 24th, 2003 09:23 AM

Re: Re: People who are rude to the staff.
glalonzo - To quote you:

"If they are on medicare or medicad they probably paid taxes MUCH longer then you have".

By this statement you are lumping Medicaid into the "MUCH longer" taxpayers bracket. If you truly understand how Medicaid works than you must admit your statement is just a little misleading. Most Medicare recipients are senior citizens, and they probably have paid taxes for many years, but this is absolutely NOT the case with the majority of Medicaid patients; a fact, not an assumption.

I am not a snob, simply defending my mother, a dedicated RN who never 'deserved' a lack of respect from anyone, no matter how their bill was being paid.

cruisequeen June 24th, 2003 12:42 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
I have had nothing but great service at dinner. I hate it when people have to act rude about everything. I agree that they are trying to show their "power" over these servers. It's a shame. I wish people would learn to relax and have fun on their cruise. That's what it's all about.

Joe Reynolds June 27th, 2003 07:20 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
I was behind a man that was giving the the airline agent a very difficult time. She continued to smile and try to accomodate him but he persisted in being very rude using foul language. The agent continued to smile and offer polite suggestions.
When he finally left I felt I should apologize for him and told the agent how sorry I was that she was being abused. She said "OH Sir don't bother yourself, He is going to Chicago, but I sent his luggage to Bangkok"

Joe Reynolds June 27th, 2003 07:36 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
If I see someone like this, I usually will try to make conversation with them away from the table. I just try to find out something about them and what they do and see if I can figure out why they are so rude. It is just a hobby.
On a cruise on the Horizon my foursome was seated at a tabe with four others. They had just ordered and we sat down and I begin to speak to the young lady next to me when the oldest lady called the waiter and had him move them to another table.
I later spoke to one of them while we in line at the purser's office. The lady was very nice and I found out they were from Malta. She didn't recognize me as being one of the ones at the table the day before. I was trying to get around to asking why they moved ? She was so nice, it must have been for a good reason, which I never found out because I didn't want to embarres her by telling her I was one of the people at the table that they left.
The waiter that was caring for our table was very embarrased and apologized. He didn't know why they moved. I live in he United States and our other travelling couple live in England.
It didn't spoil our trip at all, and I hope we didn't do anything to spoil these other people.
Strange things happen.
I think the biggest entertainment on cruises are the other people you meet. I love to hear their tales.
By the way, I have been a surgeon for 30 years but don't think we should be getting into Medicare and Medicaid. I am on Medicare now. My patients were always the boss, but that didn't mean I had to do what they wanted. I was paid to do what was best for them.
I trust waiters to take care of me the same way. Most patients were not rude to the person that was going to cut them open. You should never be rude to those who are going to feed you and see that you have a good time.

Browezilla June 29th, 2003 02:05 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
I only scanned most of these appends, but in the end, I think it comes down to some folks NEED to feel a sense of power and priviledge above others. That's what drives bigotry, dictators, cast systems, etc. I think people like tihs would REALLY enjoy a cruise, because, where else does a mere mortal have so MANY people serving them, and whose wages depend on their tips (or at least their job if a passenger complained enough). There is no reason for anyone to be condoscending or demeaning to others. Treat people with respect, and they will treat you with respect. I love the append above about "spittting in the salad". I know for a fact things like this happen in some if not most restaurants to rude patrons. Think about it, you're insulting and bemeaning someone who is going to bring you food from a location where you didn't see it prepared. Geez, anything could happen while the food is out of sight (and believe me, I've heard horror stories from sisters who were waitresses).I digress though, in the end, there is no excuse for such behavior. If you are that displeased with the service and have not been able to handle it civilly, then ask to speak to the Maitre'd or head waiter. That's one of the rolls of these people.

To be honest, I've been amused by how much folks complain about service and food on ships. I grew up in the rural south, so my tastes are simple I guess having not dined frequently in 5 star restaurants. I love fine food, but I'm also very happy with a good vegetable plate, or chicken breast. I find the food on cruise ships, pretty much in all venues, way above average, and that in the dining rooms very good (Carnival) to excellent (Celebrity). My wife actually prefers Carnivals food over Celebrity because it is simplier and "less exotic" I guess. On Fodor's site I had put some appends asking where in Paris one could find simple fare, American or otherwise (my wife has a fairly limited and simple palatte). I ways amazed at how poorly I was treated on that forum, as if I was subhuman and didn't desire to go to Paris if I wasn't going to indulge in haut cuisine. Oh well, it didn't phase me, I went to Paris for what I was interested in doing in Paris, not what others thought I should be enjoying.

BUDDY July 10th, 2003 03:32 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
One of the cruises we were on, during open seating for lunch, a mother and daughter were at all table (luckily it was just one time). Right away they started being rude to the wait staff and talking to them like they were idiots. I was really embarassed to be sitting at the same table with them and I didn't even know them. Later they honored this lady because she had taken over 100 cruises with this cruise line and they all catered to her every whim and if they didn't know who she was, she was very rude to them. She acted like she owned the ship. Her and her daughter cruised two to three times a year and they said they got the money from being disabled (although the only disability that was apparent to me, was the fact that they were both so obnoxious). It was a RCCL cruise.
I like the cruise line and I'm also a diamond member (this lady made a big deal about that also). I just hope on my next RCCL cruise I'm not dining with either of them.
Happy Cruising......

Sara July 17th, 2003 11:22 PM

Re: People who are rude to the staff.
Well, if I say people being unusually RUDE to the staff I will just have to try to put them in line!

This reminds me of the time we was flying from Nashville to New Orleans and there was this woman just ahead of us who had had a few drinks to many and she was chosen to do a full search. She had a FOUL mouth and was extremely unhappy.Then she made the mistake of saying she was NOT too happy about flying to New Orleans with a bunch of "YANKEES" anyway. WRONG thing to say on Southwest airlines. The lady looked at her and said "don't worry as you WILL NOT be flying with the"DAMN YANKEES! LOL! Then security hauled her away while the people in the line she was holding up CHEERED!

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