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  #1 (permalink)  
Old July 10th, 2004, 07:59 AM
maursea
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Default Thank you notes

This season I went to graduation parties for 3 people. One getting out of high school and 2 from college, I brought gifts. No was has sent a thank you note. I also sent 2 new baby gifts. I know they have received them. No thank you note from them either. I have found talking to people that no one does that anymore. Does anyone here found this to be true? My chldren 22 always wrote their thank you's growing up.
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Old July 10th, 2004, 09:09 AM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

Maursea , you may be surprised to learn that in my purse now I have two thank you notes. They are both written by my children( who are 8 and 11) and I am taking them to work to give to a colleage who on returning form Disneyland last week , brought each of my children a "lollipop". Thats right, one sucker, a small one too, my kids were THRILLED that this lady had remembered to bring them anything. They had only met her once(for about 5 minutes) but she brought them something and my kids thought it was sooo nice. So as they started to rip the wrapping off the suckers I said" I think a thank you note would be nice" both my kids agreed and immediatly started on them. We don't have fancy paper or thank -you cards, so they " created 'their own cards. They loved doing it, and I know Joanne( lady from work) is going to love seeing them stick man drawings and all .
Even when my kids were very young I had them do a "picture" and copy the work "thank you " on it to give out as a thank you .It is really something that starts at home, when the kids are young. So no thank you notes now is because people are ot being taught. I don't know why..

So yes. thank you cards are still done by the kids of parents who TEACH them to do them.

Unfortunatley we are a dying breed.
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Old July 10th, 2004, 09:49 AM
maursea
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Default Re: Thank you notes

Pg..that is so sweet. My children did the same at that age and continue to write thank yous today. At the high school grad. party, the Mom took the gifts, her daughter was out doing a errand. When she returned, she didn't greet her guests or say thank your for her gifts I thought that was rude.
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Old July 10th, 2004, 11:42 AM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

I don't know why people prefer to forget their simple manners.

When my adopted brother had twins, my husband went out and brought 2 of everything: sleepers, toys, bibs, rattles, blankets, booties, and whatever else cute things we think they could use & enjoy. We were able to spend quite a bit of money and enjoyed doing it.

Well, guess what....no note of thanks, no phone call, nothing! Not from him or his wife. When Christmas came, we sent NOTHING! I'm sure they could have used something too, since they didn't have a whole lot of money. Finally when we went to visit them, they said thank you. Guess sitting down and actually writing a note is just too difficult these days, but oh well...I would never THINK of accepting ANYTHING without a thank you!

Unfortunately this happens more often than it should....

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Old July 10th, 2004, 01:41 PM
Andee
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Default Re: Thank you notes

It is a great embarrassment to me that ,although I trained both of my children to write thank you notes, my son (age 27, old enough to know better) just doesn't do it. His grandparents even stopped sending him gifts because of that, and they would have been happy with a note, a call, an e-mail, anything.
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Old July 10th, 2004, 06:01 PM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

Isn't that a shame that people can be so self-centered....and you know people would love to continue giving gifts to those who they care about and receive a nice thank you note or phone call, but manners really seem to be in short supply these days...everything is ME ME ME

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Old July 12th, 2004, 02:44 PM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

My nephew graduated from High School in June....and actually called my wife and I to ask how much we were planning on giving him as a graduation present. Now he wasn't inquiring to see how much he would have in his college fund....nope. He and several of his friends were planning on going to Daytona Beach, and he wanted to make sure that he would have enough money to party. So he informs basically informs us that he wants money....not a present. And then asks how much!

So if you are wondering what we gave him. A very nice watch. Which from his expression and the fact that he didn't wear it he didn't appreciate it.
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Old July 12th, 2004, 02:46 PM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

Good for you, GLW, now that is rudeness at it's ultimate!!!!! I would be terribly embarresed to do something like that....

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Old July 12th, 2004, 03:30 PM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

its the same over here in the uk! i am an aunt to TEN, eleven any day now and at christmas i always buy every child a present, wrap it, pack it and mail it (they all live at the other end of the country) well only one family (of three called to say thank you) the others? nothing when did people become so rude? all i want is to hear a thank you from them, a call is all i want is it too much? i always have and always will send out thank you cards, the one exception being my wedding when my husband lost the list i had carefully made of everyone who had sent a gift, but i made sure i had said thanks in my speech and i think i caught up with everyone over the phone.
ps i'm still waiting for that thank you now!
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Old July 12th, 2004, 03:52 PM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

I have a couple of co-workers for whose children I always bring a little something from my cruises. I always get a voicemail left for me thanking me for the gifts. I used to bring a lot more stuff for other people's kids. When there was no thank you (either by phone, e-mail, etc.), I never bothered to bring them anything again.

The only people I forgive for not sending prompt thank yous are new parents. Having a baby around seems to be a 24-hour job and I don't expect a thank you note from those poor frazzled new parents.
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Old July 12th, 2004, 05:29 PM
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Default Re: Re: Thank you notes

Consider yourself lucky that you received a voice mail. I would prefer a phone call to a thank you note, or email.

Carol
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Old July 12th, 2004, 05:35 PM
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Default Re: Re: Thank you notes

I'm good about writing thank yous, just lousy at mailing them. Sometimes the cards will sit by the door for weeks before I get them in the mail. I don't have a outgoing mailbox, and my brain doesn't function as well as I'd like as I'm getting ready for work in the morning, but there's still no good excuse for letting so much time pass. Sometimes I want to send an e-mail letting the giver know that I did get the gift, I do appreciate it, and there's a thank you on the way, but that would defeat the whole point of sending a real thank you, wouldn't it? Most of my friends and co-workers never send thank you's at all, and feel no shame.
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Old July 12th, 2004, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: Thank you notes

For something like a wedding, graduation or any event in which you are invited and bring a gift the receiver should always acknowledge it with a thank you card.

I feel that if I send a gift for the heck of it then it doesn't need to be acknowledged with a thank you card.

I will also take a phone call over a thank you card, any day. It may not be Emily Post but it's what I prefer.

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Mike

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Old July 12th, 2004, 06:59 PM
Andee
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Default Re: Thank you notes

We went to our great-nephew's HS graduation party, and gave hime a card with a check in it. Within two weeks, we had the cutest note thanking us profusely. His delight at the gift made us so glad we had been generous.
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Old July 12th, 2004, 08:55 PM
kathyh
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Default Re: Thank you notes

i don't know if it's a geographical thing, or just good upbringing, or what. but i'm glad to say that i do usually receive thank you notes. my oldest son graduated from highschool this year, so i took gifts to several of his closest friends. they have all written thank you notes (i was impressed). i know that my own son wrote nearly 80 thank you notes after his graduation in May.

some kids just aren't taught good manners i guess. if i sent a gift to someone and never heard anything back, i wouldn't hesitate to make a phone call, and just sweetly say, "i'm a little concerned that you apparently didn't receive the gift I sent." then when the person says "oh, uh...yes, it did come, thank you," i would try to diplomatically teach a quickie etiquette lesson! i would just say that "oh, i had assumed the gift never arrived, or that it wasn't appreciated, since i never heard back from you. i hope you will realize that i am trying to help you. as someone who loves you despite your shortcomings, i must tell you that this lack of common courtesy will be a hindrance in your life. perhaps it never occurred to you before, but the simple gesture of saying thank you, by mail or by phone, is very important."

i suppose some people might say that i would not be displaying common courtesy myself in pointing out someone else's lapse of manners. i would only be so frank with someone i was close to and who i believed would accept my well-intentioned chastisement.
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