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Old May 14th, 2004, 04:04 AM
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Default Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

People can be incredibly rude and hurtful to other people. I was on Carnival Spirit where there was a group of developmentally disabled/mentally retarded people aboard. They were enjoying their cruise and seemed to be having a great time. I did hear some people making rude comments. Hello...........these are people with feelings. They are people just like everyone, they just have handicaps. I work with DD/MR people every day. I also have some living in my home that I take care of. They are just people who like to have fun and live as everyone else does.

Cruznut2

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Old May 14th, 2004, 05:13 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

I have never seen that happen and I pray I never do. That is reprehensible! We are cruising with our best friends in November and they are bringing their daughter who has CP. If anyone said anything about her, they would get an earfull!
My thread about rude seniors was me, getting something off my chest. Yes, my son (7) had his feelings hurt by a senior more than one time, I might add, but comments about disabled people is just horibble.

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Old May 14th, 2004, 05:40 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Hello Sea Angel,
Unfortunately, I hear comments like that all the time. Anytime I am in public with any of my people someone usually has a comment to make. Once in a restaurant a man loudly said to the hostess, "I don't want to sit near the retard". I saw the hurt in her eyes and lost it. So I blurted out without thinking "that makes us even, She does not want to sit near an idiot" Very unprofessional of me but I felt better!!

Cruznut2

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Old May 14th, 2004, 07:01 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

good for you!
wish i had been there to see it!
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Old May 14th, 2004, 08:13 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

I would have loved to see that, Cruznut2! On the other hand, I've also seen people and ship's staff go out of their way to make those who are less fortunate feel every bit as valued as anyone else. Even a little kindness can go a long way.
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Old May 14th, 2004, 08:16 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

GOOD for you, Cruz! Some people need a good slap of reality sometimes... just wait until they are dealing with some disability as they get older, then they will expect compassion from others....

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Old May 14th, 2004, 08:26 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Hi Horseracer,
The staff and crew were wonderful to this group. they did go out of their way to help in any way they could. It was different guests on the ship that were not nice.

Cruznut2
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Old May 14th, 2004, 08:28 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Oops, I should have added that most of the guests were great too. Just a few that were rude.

Cruznut2
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Old May 14th, 2004, 09:44 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

This is the one subject that can make me crazy. Those born with these handicaps are the most special, happy, loving creatures on earth. It is as if God gave them all the good qualities of man and none of the bad.

It angers me so for people to be negative, cruel or hurtful to these fine folks. I HATE the word "retard"...it offend me as much as the "n" word because it is usually uttered with a sense of distain and superiority.

God bless you for you fine care of these people and for affording them the pleasure of cruising.

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Old May 14th, 2004, 12:21 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

I get rude remarks all the time. I am only 4' tall and have a bone disorder. I have heard comments, had people pat me on the head, people have pushed in line and then just smiled at me. And yes - these are adults. Most of the time I try to ignore it but there are times when I let people know how rude they are being. Of course I usually hear "those kind of people are so cranky" or things like that.

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Old May 17th, 2004, 08:14 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

We are taking our developmentally handicapped son (24) to Alaska with us in September. This is his 1st cruise and he is so excited, he asks me about it every night. As I am sitting here trying to think of what to say next, I think that I am actually speechless at the thoughtlessness of people. He did not ask to be different. He is a wonderful, happy loving person and I wouldn't trade him for all of the "normal" people in the world....
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Old May 17th, 2004, 08:15 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

We are taking our developmentally handicapped son (24) to Alaska with us in September. This is his 1st cruise and he is so excited, he asks me about it every night. As I am sitting here trying to think of what to say next, I think that I am actually speechless at the thoughtlessness of people. He did not ask to be different. He is a wonderful, happy loving person and I wouldn't trade him for all of the "normal" people in the world....
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Old May 17th, 2004, 08:27 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

I would not worry about it, Norma, I can't believe that people that rude & insensitive are the norm. Have you ever seen the movie Mask w/Cher? It was about her son whose face was less than "normal"....he had some very good comebacks for the mean things people would say. Granted it was a movie, but it made you think....

Don't worry about it, and I hope all of you have a great time!!

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Old May 18th, 2004, 12:46 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Norma - if you were on MY cruise and I happened to run into your son, I would make every effort to talk to him and reach out in friendship. There is a lot to be learned seeing the world through the eyes of others.

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Old May 18th, 2004, 03:12 AM
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Default Re: Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Hi Norma,
Your son should have a wonderful time. It was only a few people that were rude enough to make comment. On the whole I find that most people are nice. the staff and crew of the ships are great too. It sounds like he is looking forward to the trip. I hope you all have the BEST time ever.

Cruznut2
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Old May 18th, 2004, 02:22 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

It's not the norm for people to be that rude BUT it only takes a couple comments to make you angry or upset.
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Old June 17th, 2004, 09:29 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

i cannot stand how rude some people can be, especially to those who are also human beings and want to enjoy themselves on a vacation. Its really upsetting and gets me furious because that individual is probably getting enough rude comments at home and just like everyone else wants to get away.. I wouldn't put up with it, everyone has feelings and they should have a good time like everyone else!
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Old June 17th, 2004, 11:55 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

The problem is that some people don't realize that we are are all disabled or impaired in one way or another. My wife has MS. I have arthritis in both feet and an "old war injury" (literally) to an ankle, and that is only the beginning of the descriptions of the impairments we have. I can recall one cruise we were on where a young man (accompanied by his mother, I think) was well accomodated on an excursion. He was in a wheel chair and I believe (though I am not a doctor) that he had cerebral palsey. He seemed to be really having a great time, and he certainly caused no disaccomodation to anyone. All guests thought it so good that the line accomodated him so well.

I would congratulate whatever cruise line you took for accomodating your fellow guests with disabilities so well. By the time one is my age (60), one realizes that we ALL are disabled. The only difference is in what way and to what degree. I have never been treated rudely by a person whom we used to term "mentally retarded." Has anyone?

Thanks,
Richard
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Old June 18th, 2004, 12:09 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

My son has tourette's syndrome. He sometimes makes noises, twitches and makes statements that are bizarre and out of context (ex- "that nail polish is so last summer!" or for years his answer to nearly every question he was asked was "Abraham Lincoln".) The problem is he looks very "normal" and people tend to think he is acting out. He has endured many stares and whispers throughout his 13 years and it is heartbreaking. I have endured many people looking at me (some even telling me) that I am a bad parent because I can't make my child behave/conform/be normal! I used to worry what people thought, but now I figure the people who are unkind or ignorant enough to cause a problem are not the people who have an opinion that matters to me anyway.

Paula
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Old June 18th, 2004, 03:02 AM
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Default Re: Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Hi Babe Buth,

People with handicaps are certainly able to have a good time. My job is just that, making sure that they do have a good time. It makes my heart sing to see one of my people have fun and really enjoy him/her self. In the course of a day we do endure stares and comments. Most people are great but there are rude ignorant people that say hurtful things. Howerver the good people far out number the rude ones.
You are right about all of us having our handicaps. Age catches us all and slows us down. Aches and pains seem to creep in to places we never knew existed.
To give credit where it is due. The cruise line was Carnival and the ship was Spirit. The crew aboard this ship were wonderful to those passengers.
Have I ever been insulted by a "mentally retarded" person? No, never. I have been hugged, kissed and sung to many times. Just some of the "perks" of the job.

Cruznut2

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Old June 18th, 2004, 08:19 AM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Cruznut2...God bless you and all who work and/or live with the developmentally challenged. A special place in Heaven awaits you.

On a personal note, my uncle has cerebral palsy, and he is one of the most intelligent, funny, caring people I know. Because of the way he walks or talks is no indication of the person he is. Anyone who makes judgement on him or anyone that is challenged should take a long, hard look at themselves.

Ed



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Old June 18th, 2004, 02:44 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

It is such a shame that some people havent taught there children to be polite and not to stare or point. i remember my mother telling my sister and I that there are many kinds of people in this world and we are not being polite if we stare or point at people that are different then we are. I have tried to teach my children the same thing. Now i have grand children. i hope that there parents have instilled the same values that my mother did in me. My heart goes out to anyone who is stared out or talked about as thogh they are not there. There is a lot of rudeness in this world. God created us all equal....
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Old June 18th, 2004, 09:58 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

I think the "boars" that make those kinds of comments should be made to walk the plank. The sharks would enjoy their tart flavor - TTFN Jennifer
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Old June 20th, 2004, 07:02 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

I'm not sure where all you people are from, but I live in Illinois and I can honestly say I have never seen this happen in all my 38 years of being around people like this.
My sister is MR and I lived with her until I was 28 and never once was anyone ever rude to us. I also worked as a home counselor for the MR and people were always so thoughtful and considerate to these people. Yes, we did have the occasional stares, but nothing rude was ever said. All I can say is it's a truely ignorant unhappy person with some serious mental problems themselves that would be rude to someone with a disability.
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Old June 20th, 2004, 07:31 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Hi Tammy,
My brother was also MR- Downs Syndrome. When he was alive I never heard anyone make rude comments to or about him. It seems that in this day of de-institutionalization people are uncomfortable with having handicaps in public. I work every day out in the community with MR/DD people. for the most part people are very nice and helpful There are always a few that make hurtful rude remarks.
I also have a woman that is mildly MR living in my home. In November I am going on Carnival Spirit to the Mexican Riviera. I thought about it for a long time and have decided to take her with me. I have contacted her guardian and got the ball rolling. I just know she will have a great time. She enjoys eating out so a cruise will be a great time for her. She is 66 and very active. I just know it will be a wonderful and happy experience for her.

Cruznut2

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Old June 20th, 2004, 08:08 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

My husband and son-in-law play on a softball team. Their pitcher has MD and doesn't have the use of one arm. One night after our team won the game, one of players of the other team called him Tyrannosaurus Rex, I couldn't believe that a grown man could be so rude and uncarring. Unfortunately, our catcher and his brother got really angry (can't really blame them) and this disintigrated from there. The women on the other team were cussing and saying terrible things and I asked them to calm down because they didn't really know what was going on, of course, instead of calming down, they cussed me out. I would never talk to anyone that way and it shocked me to no end. You would think that "grown-ups" would know better.
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Old June 20th, 2004, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

grown ups DO know better, but it sounds like the ones you encountered decided NOT to have any human decency ! Some people..... ughhhhh !
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Old July 31st, 2004, 12:59 PM
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Default Re: Rude?? Now I have heard it all.

Thanx to those of you that replied to my post. I know that the majority of people don't say anthing, at least not so he can overhear. To look at him, he does look "normal" (whatever that is) but he also has a speech impediment, so as soon as he begins to talk, everyone looks at him...I don't think he really notices, as he has never said anything. I know he will have a great time and he still asks about it every night when he asks me what he is going to dream about, which he has done for as long as I can remember. Thanx again and to all of you that have people with disabilities in your family - we are the luckiest people in the world to have them in our lives!!
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Old July 31st, 2004, 02:22 PM
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Greetings all.

In 1993 I cruised on a small ship called the Dynasty from NY to New England/Canada. After boarding I discovered there was a large group of developmentally disabled persons. Ashamedly, my first reaction was that they were taking the place of so called "normal" people that I could socialize with. How awful I felt after less than a day, and how shameful and embarrassed I still feel to this day.

I have never encountered such happy people in my whole life. The joy that was spread on that ship was infectious. Just watching the happy faces while they danced to the ship's orchestra was a privilege.

If you believe in God, then you know that he blesses all of us.
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Old July 31st, 2004, 03:19 PM
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I think as people actually get to know someone that is "handiapped" they soon realize that they are like everyone else, they laugh, they cry, they dance, they love..when my son was in jr high he overheard some of the kids comment, when they were standing in line for lunch, that they "didn't want to eat with the retards". The next day my husband picked our son up on his motorcycle and you know what - my son was looked at in a different way. What those kids learned was that, even tho he was developmentally delayed, he was really just like them..i hope they carry that through with them as they continue through life - hopefully a lesson learned.
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