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  #1 (permalink)  
Old January 21st, 2005, 03:54 PM
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Default Here's an idea!!!

Why don't we do this. Everyone chip in some money and we will all start a cruiseline that is run similar to a military ship. Of course it would still be a ship that people would take for their vacation. We will have to make a profit. First there will only be one dining room and you have to show up on time or you can go hungry. Getting lost trying to find the dining room, is no excuse. Cabin Stewards can enter without knocking OR calling out by using their access key because it's your fault you didnt put the sign out or bolt the door. Your cabin steward however, is not allowed to enter your room wearing a speedo. Of course, your bags will be thoroughly checked upon embarkation to remove any contraband, including any type of booze, because you have to purchase what is available on board. Anyone caught with booze or other contrband in their baggage will be publicly flogged on the pool deck while the belly flop competition is going on.Teenagers and kids will have certain pools that they are allowed in. The other pools will be adult only and there will not be children allowed on those decks at all. There will also be seperate pool areas for anyone that is overweight or sporting a tattoo. Anyone wearing a speedo will have it removed and will be forced to put on a japanese sumo outfit - at least thats a sport. There will be only one designated area for smokers, this will be the top deck of the ship complete with its own fan to blow any smoke away from the ship to ensure other passengers do not have to smell the smoke. There will be a 10 pm curfew for all people under the legal drinking age and violating this curfew will result in the entire party being removed from the ship. All passnegers will be limited to the number of times that they can complain about anything and they must do so in a civilized manner. If not then they will be issued a time out in their cabin.

Any other suggestions are welcome.

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Old January 21st, 2005, 04:01 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

tamie

What if I have booze that is smuggled, but I am wearing a speedo, but not a steward, will I still be publicly flogged???

banker

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Old January 21st, 2005, 04:07 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Cabin stewards are the only people allowed to wear speedos they just can't do it when they enter your room unannounced. So yes you will be publicly flogged while wearing your speedo in order to add to your public humiliation.

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Old January 21st, 2005, 05:39 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

The flogging of passengers will occur with unsupervised towels left on deck chairs
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Old January 21st, 2005, 05:46 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

we should add that saving of deck chairs will also result in flogging

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Old January 21st, 2005, 05:59 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Another idea, KP will be imposed on all of those that leave their soiled plates, eating utensils and used drinking glasses and other trash on the pool decks.

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Old January 21st, 2005, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

All announcements will be preceded by shrill whistle and piped into cabin
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Old January 21st, 2005, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

What is the name of that whistle they use anyway?

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Old January 21st, 2005, 08:48 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Can I be in charge of flogging - please please please! Especially the flogging of speedo sporting stewards and bankers wearing anything - or nothing. ttfn Jennifer
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Old January 21st, 2005, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

I have a better idea for our cruiseline:

Allow pets! We'll make millions and we can charge the veternarians a substantial fee for employment because we all know pet owners will spend anything on their little furry friends.

Regards,
Thomas
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Old January 21st, 2005, 09:08 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Well maybe Thomas as long as we designate cats to one deck and dogs to another. We can then decide an open play time for all cats and dogs to visit each other.

Why do you want to flog Banker, Hazelton? I was kinda thinking that we should hire a resident sumo wrestler to do the flogging as he may be a bit more intimidating than little ole' you would be Jennifer, but you could be in charge of over seeing that everyone that is to be flogged is properly flogged. How about that? But then come to think of it if you are over seeing the flogging then maybe we should hire someone more eye pleasing for you to supervise. Now who would be good for that?

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Old January 21st, 2005, 10:29 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

How about a cruise ship that single parents can take their kids on without having to go to court to get that stupid auth letter. Where am I really going to go while on a 4 day cruise to Ensenada?
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Old January 21st, 2005, 10:38 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

I say that whatever dispute arises on board, like dining puctuality, smoking, whatever has been griped about on this board, be settled on ship in a Judge Judy like courtroom.

banker

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Old January 22nd, 2005, 12:00 AM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Wow sounds good until I got to the cabins. On the navy ships I served on did not have cabins, we were in a drom like area! So no need for the cadin steward to knock. Speedo's , well I've seen worse and won't talk about it!

Oh and that shrill whistle that you will hear (and cringe just think about it) is called a bosun's pipe.

But all in all the new cruise line sound good, but I wonder where you will put the pools


Havin Fun wait'n to go on the Paradise
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Old January 22nd, 2005, 09:35 AM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Suzie,

I figured the dorm style accomodations would not go over well therefore reducing potential profits. What I was trying to do was to mix the two together to come up with something that would be somewhat palatable to vacationers that do not want to deal with those obnoxious annoying self serving passengers that you find on regular cruise lines. I suppose we could have an area that has dorm style accomodations for the single passnegers so that they do not have to pay a double fare when traveling alone.

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Old January 22nd, 2005, 01:14 PM
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ONLY IF EVERYONE HAS TO SUNBATHE NUDE OR TOPLESS OR BOTTOMLESS.
LET THE FLOGGING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
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Old January 22nd, 2005, 03:22 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

We could charge a lot less up front if we sold tickets to the floggin's

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Old January 22nd, 2005, 03:45 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Let's see now - who would I want as my underling in the flogging department. George Clooney or Mel Gibson or both? They would, of course, have to stay in my suite - the head-floggers quarters - so I would need a very large bed. Ah - the dreams of the elderly :o) I might even relax the speedo rules for those two, with a black & white speedo for formal nights - along with a bow tie of course. The ticket prices for the floggings would go up because of the star factor but many would be willing to pay the price. Is it getting warm in here? lol ttfn Jennifer
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Old January 22nd, 2005, 07:30 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Okay we will charge $10 for 5 minutes of flogging viewing, per person. Of course there will be plenty of beer available to keep your thirst down for all the yelling the observers are going to be doing. Of course, those beers will cost double because then we will truly have a captive audience. To keep Jennifer happy both Mel and George will be the primary floggers, with Pierce Bronson, Sean Connnery and Arnold roatating as back up floggers. Pierce will be staying in my suite, BTW. Jennifer will have all rights to Mel and George are well as anyone else she wants to hire for back up floggers. I do think that you would be happier with the boys wearing the little tux outfits that Fredrick's Of Hollywood sells as those are thongs and give a good view of the guys rear ends. We could even provide mud pits in the flogging area if you want Jennifer.

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Old January 22nd, 2005, 10:46 PM
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Default Re: Re: Here's an idea!!!

Jen? black and white speedo with tails on formal night? Sounds like a character in a really bad Batman B movie!

Ladies, I think you are getting a little carried away now -

But seriously, that is one announcement I wouldn't mind piped into my cabin "can I have your attention please, this is your Captain speaking, public flogging is now going on by the pool"

banker

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Old January 23rd, 2005, 12:12 AM
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Banker

Isn't public flogging a criminal offence
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Old January 23rd, 2005, 07:59 AM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Flogging! What a money maker! It would be more popular then the Ice Shows. We could charge an extra fee for front row seating, kinda like "specialty dining". I think cigar smoking anywhere and not whearing a jacket on "formal nights", should be added to the list of floggable offences. Jimbo
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Old January 23rd, 2005, 08:42 AM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Schmitty,

I suppose we will have to make sure we are in international waters before the flogging commences. We'll sound the bosun's whistle when we enter international waters making the announcement as to when any floggings will begin.

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Old January 23rd, 2005, 10:04 AM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Double price drinks during flogging sessions due to entertainment
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Old January 23rd, 2005, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Front row seats would cost more too - and anyone caught seat saving would become instant floggees. I think the criminal term would be "floggalism" - but I think it would have to involve totally nudity to be considered a crime - but that's ok with me. Can I be ship's sheriff as well? ttfn Jennifer
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Old January 23rd, 2005, 07:13 PM
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Default Re: Here's an idea!!!

Since we need to have a balance of power. Why don't we make Robo sherriff and you chief of Police. I do have to agree that total nudity of the floggees might not be a good idea. You have to consider who it might be that is being flogged. Now we could have some entertainers (I am sure you all know what kind I mean here) around to entertain the spectators between floggings. Now, I know that Hazelton would more than likely be willing to handle the male entertainers whenever she tires of George and Mel. Of course we need someone to volunteer to care for the female entertainers to make sure they are well taken care of and protected whenever they are of duty. Hazelton will you help me to conduct interviews for these positions?

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