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Old April 10th, 2006, 02:05 PM
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Default Responsibility, yours or others

This subject really gets to me, so stand by

Why do parents, who can do all the right things at home towards their neighbours and all that goes with it... including keeping their children in check.

Suddenly think we are on vacation, so do what you want!!

Do this do that, run about wild,,,,we don’t care.

Why do it to your ship's companions, if you would not do it to your neighbours?

IS it as simple as….. we have paid and can do anything we like? Our Social acceptability and conscience has gone for these few days or weeks?

Or do these people not care at home either?
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Old April 10th, 2006, 02:22 PM
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Dave, i think that its a little bit of both. Some folks have the " I am on vacation and i don't want to deal with my kids attitude" and some folks have the "Not my darling little angel" attitiude.
Guess what folks, parenting is a non-stop job, its up to you to control and discipline your kids, not the cruise line or anyone else for that matter. Just because you are on vacation, parenting isn't.
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Old April 10th, 2006, 02:42 PM
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Dont get me wrong Lisa, there are in the majority a lot of good parents out there, and both they and their children have social gracies.

But the ones that don't, stick out like a sore thumb and no matter what you do or where you go, they are there. Ready to take me towards that heart attack

You cant blame the children. But it's amazing how many parents think it's the lines reponsibility to look after their children and how they act or react when on ship.
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Old April 10th, 2006, 02:50 PM
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They do not have to see the cruise companions again like they would have to see the neighbors. What do they care what you think if they do not have to see you again. It is up to the cruiseline to enforce some rules as they are serving you. If enough people complain, the cruiseline will crack down on the kids in the hot tub, running around etc. They should make a fine for infractions. People will feel it in the purse. We all complain on here about it but how much of this information gets to the ship. Write it down on you comment cards.
We have VERY strict rules for kids we work with on my job and Mommy and Daddy pay highly for it if the kid messes up. One strike and your out! The key is to let them know beforehand and have then sign a consent form so they can not say I did not know this rule. Well, hello, you signed right on the dotted line.

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Old April 10th, 2006, 03:01 PM
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If your kid is rotten, there is a good chance that you are also rotten.

Actually, I believe that parents, in general have gotten way too permissive with their children. Bad behavior doesn't occur just on ships but also in resturants, grocery stores, movies and shopping malls.
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Old April 11th, 2006, 09:56 AM
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Everythings so focused on abuse that parents are afraid to get in trouble.

Ryan gets the angry lecture. That is worse than a spank. I go on and on and on.

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Old April 11th, 2006, 11:20 AM
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Karen, i totally agree with you. Fill out those comment cards, the cruise lines really do read and pay attention to them.
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Old April 13th, 2006, 01:25 PM
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Yes, Lisa, I will next time if I see the kids in the hot tub or running around hazardly. If they want to run around, they should go to the kids area games.

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Old April 13th, 2006, 01:39 PM
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I don't know maybe i am old-fashioned or perhaps my folks raised me right, but there is such a thing as common courtesy and respect for others. It is something that has to be learned at home.
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Old April 13th, 2006, 04:38 PM
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I feel that parents of my generation felt that they were too restricted when they were growing up. Thus, they were more permissive with their kids. Then, those kids, having been raised in a permissive household, don't know how to be restrictive with their own kids. I was raised to responsible myself and I raised my own kids that way and my daughter is raising her kids that way.
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Old April 14th, 2006, 06:24 PM
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I think some parents are thinking "I'm on vacation, so I am taking a vacation from parenting as well." Have a drink, pretend the kids don't exist - out of site out if mind. They justify it by saying "Its the kid's vacation, too. Let them go crazy."

Now I also see a lot of good kids. But I swear I see more bad parents than I used to when I was young. These days, a permissive parent is considered "cool" while a good parent is considered to be a bore. In my day, a permissive parent meant a house I wasn't allowed to play at.
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Old April 14th, 2006, 07:13 PM
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Old April 16th, 2006, 08:34 AM
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This may sound pompus but, when I see kids acting bad I say to myself....I'am sure glad my children know better then to act like that!
I beleive your childrens actions are a direct reflection on their upbringing.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 10:06 AM
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True words Deadmonkey
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Old April 16th, 2006, 10:40 AM
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No disrespect,but majority of the kids are very good kids.What are they doing to get you all so upset?They are not going to stay in their rooms,or the arcade all day.Are they not suppose to enjoy their vacation?Cruiselines make a lot more money when passengers do have kids.If you see an unruly kid(s)report it, and maybe this will give the parents a chance to read the riot act again to them.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 12:25 PM
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Most children are just that, children, without the experience to know that just because you are a vacation and in a different location you can act differently. Don't take it for granted that the ships crew will do the right thing for your child. I just heard about the 15 year old who was served 9 drinks in 90 minutes and she signed for the drinks herself. When her father finally rounded her up and took her to her room she was very drunk. Soon there after she got sick and went to the railing to throw up and over she went. what a sad lesson on being the parent at all times and not assuming that your child or any one else will be responsible.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 01:02 PM
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Old April 16th, 2006, 03:30 PM
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Being on a ship which no matter how big they make them,,,is actually a confined piece of space.

So children, old people, fat people, greedy people, smokers, drunks or just weird people all appear to be in your face.

Maybe some of us react to some scenarios more than others. Maybe it’s an age thing when it is children. In you have brought yours up, gave yours to society the best way you could and with values. Now you want to relax,,, without this hassle.

Suddenly when trying to relax you have "other peoples" children in your face, doing and acting in a way that we would never have tolerated,,,eh….. short memories

Scary times, remember the 50's and 60’s when your Mom or Gran seeing how you were dressed or acted said "never in my day". We'll welcome, you have taken on their demeanor.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 07:54 PM
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Will said:

Quote:
If you see an unruly kid(s) report it, and maybe this will give the parents a chance to read the riot act again to them.
This is the problem! Reporting very unruly kids doesn't work. The staff is too afraid to confront the parents.

I don't have any young children, but I actually enjoy watching well behaved children having a good time. I'm not too old to remember when I was that age. It's the children who run amuck that bother me.

DavidB said:

Quote:
Scary times, remember the 50's and 60’s when your Mom or Gran seeing how you were dressed or acted said "never in my day". We'll welcome, you have taken on their demeanor.
Oh my, we've turned into our parents! Scary isn't it
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Old April 17th, 2006, 03:33 PM
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Society and the world as a whole is NOT the same...nothing is the SAME as when we were children. So children are NOT the same as when we were kids.

Children try to be mini adults...and adults (including parents) want to be kids again... Kids want to grow up fast...and adults desperately try to hold on to their passing youth, so afraid to grow-up and see the changes in the mirror.

Who is left to set a higher standard of conduct for children and young people?

Some feel that having children is the same as having a pet...when you are tired of them...throw them in the backyard, let them raise themselves. Heaven forbid we should give them some direction or discipline (BTW: THIS DOES NOT MEAN CORPORAL!!!)

We should just let them run wild...and like in evolution, they'll just evolve, with no input or interferance into fine upstanding, law abiding citizens. With faith it will can happen. NOT!!!!
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Old April 17th, 2006, 03:45 PM
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Fieldmouse, we dont agree on some of what you said, But in looking at root cause for all of this, you gave the line of the year. " Children try to be mini adults...and adults (including parents) want to be kids again... "

Love it, what a great line and how much of todays society problems stems from that basic premise.
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Old April 22nd, 2006, 07:50 PM
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My observation / opinion is the majority of kids are decent, even those who don't seem so at first glance. Most "surly" teens will respond with grin in a second if you speak to them properly and smile, which is to say with manners, as you would treat an adult.

I doubt if many who complain of "rude teens" try it.

Cheers, Adian
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Old April 22nd, 2006, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fieldmouse
Society and the world as a whole is NOT the same...nothing is the SAME as when we were children. So children are NOT the same as when we were kids.

Children try to be mini adults...and adults (including parents) want to be kids again... Kids want to grow up fast...and adults desperately try to hold on to their passing youth, so afraid to grow-up and see the changes in the mirror.

Who is left to set a higher standard of conduct for children and young people?

Some feel that having children is the same as having a pet...when you are tired of them...throw them in the backyard, let them raise themselves. Heaven forbid we should give them some direction or discipline (BTW: THIS DOES NOT MEAN CORPORAL!!!)

We should just let them run wild...and like in evolution, they'll just evolve, with no input or interferance into fine upstanding, law abiding citizens. With faith it will can happen. NOT!!!!
Fieldmouse, customs may change, but human nature has not changed over 40,000 years. Humans are indeed the same as when we were kids.

Viewed over recent history, I would say the current crop of kids is damn well behaved; what "conduct" are you talking about?

Cheers, Aidan
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Old April 23rd, 2006, 11:06 AM
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Fieldmouse, customs may change, but human nature has not changed over 40,000 years. Humans are indeed the same as when we were kids.

Viewed over recent history, I would say the current crop of kids is damn well behaved; what "conduct" are you talking about?

Cheers, Aidan[/quote]

You cannot change a problem unless you recognize that there is one. The idea that "Everything is just fine... If we don't look at the problem it will just go away, it won't exist". This is a form of denial.

In some ways, I understand your stand...after all, we live on the same planet...we want/need to believe that the life in the future rest in good hands. BUT....The facts just don't support that naive premise anymore.

Because something doesn't happen in OUR immediate neighborhood or on our personal cruise ...doesn't mean there is not a problem or a serious issue.

The facts prove other wise. Read any National newspaper or watch any Cable news report, or more to the point...seriously consider some the comments posted on these topics regarding teens. NO not all teens in the world are bad, misbehave or get into trouble, etc., and none of the posters said that. BUT there is a growing number of teens who do cause concern, and a growing number of adults who are interacting with this specific group. I think it is a wise parent who notices and then takes positive action.

It's not a bad thing to be concerned.

BTW: I didn't mention any specific teen behavior because it wouldn't make any difference in the conclusion.
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Old April 24th, 2006, 04:04 PM
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I must admit for all I said about "we were all young once", there is a change in some things.
For example for all the area I grew up in was full of hard, working class people in Glasgow. We never had drugs, we never had to deploy metal detectors to find knives, guns or any other weapon in our schools. Yes we had nut cases in school, but unfortunately that was just them as people. It was not due to drink or drugs, we never had the I cant afford it then I will steal it or take it from you mentality.

I actually feel really sorry for the decent child out there having to grow up in all this crap, that they as children must have to deal with day in and day out. We never had those problems or pressures to face. Yes, the odd bully or big mouth but nothing like what it must be today in going to school.

I am sure there are a lot of decent people out there who as parents, don’t know how to deal with this new culture, as it is alien to anything we have ever seen or understand. But our kids live it, maybe through that they grow up too quick.
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Old April 27th, 2006, 02:26 PM
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we were on the caribbean princess last october and what gets me is when you have parents enjoying the adults only pool with there kids.adults only means adults only.these people were in the pool and their kids were jumping into the hot tub while we were in it.I mean getting out running around and jumping back in,and the parents did not say a word
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Old May 2nd, 2006, 03:27 PM
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With the specific behavior of the kids jumping into the hot tub and climbing out and doing it again, a couple of conspiratorial words would probably go a long way. Something like, "You know, if you guys just get in the hot tub and act like adults, you'll have less chance of being thrown out." Or, "hey, guys, would you mind cutting out all the jumping and splashing? Hottubs are for lazing in. Thanks."

It won't work with all kids, but some will respond in a most mature fashion. Kids are accustomed to being regulated by someone else. If no one tells them to stop, they figure they're not bothering anyone (if they even wonder).

A couple of kind (but direct) words on the side in many situations will work better than dirty looks or nasty corrections.

For the real problems, the kind words might be wasted, but still worth the effort of setting a good example for polite behavior.
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Old May 10th, 2006, 06:02 AM
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If it bothers you, you should just say something instead of coming on here and cpmplainiing next time. Then you can let us know how it felt to say something. Now I would enjoy reading about someone doing something isntead of Bi%^&*&^.

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Old May 30th, 2006, 10:26 AM
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Here's my problem with the unruley children and the parents who don't care what their kids do:

I have limited mobility and have brittle bones (a rare bone disorder I was born with). So - I have to be careful when I'm walking about the ship. I am very cautious when around children who are not being watched as these are the ones most likely to go running throughtout the ship without any regard for other passengers. They run and push through crowded areas - and I DO mean push. They have no concern about the consequences of their actions - partly because they have not been held accountable for any of their actions EVER.

Also - these unsupervised children play on the elevators. So when someone is trying to get on or off the elevator, these children are rushing to get on or off without paying any attention to others. I saw one child grab the arm rest of a passengers wheelchair and push it aside so they could get on the elevator ahead of them!

All I'd like for parents to do is teach their children respect & courtious behavior. Children are going to run ahd jump and play but tell them they need to be aware of others around them. And to understand that they need to be watchful that they don't cause harm to others.
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Old May 30th, 2006, 11:51 AM
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Hey, cruisequeen, you hit the nail right on the head. There are children constantly "playing" on the elevators with no regard for people in wheelchairs, walkers, the elderly, etc. I have spoken to children very sternly on cruise ships, no plaintive pleadings with me, they get a very stern reprimand. I have had children running and screaming and playing catch in the hall outside my stateroom late at night who have also gotten a stern reprimand and a call to a staff member. Children running on slippery decks, up and down stairs bumping into people, children 7 years old sitting at the bars enjoying a cocktail (virgin I presume). Where are their guardians? They're somewhere on the ship having a great time, that's where they are. Do parents really think their children are safe alone on a cruise ship? Someone told me they always book a cruise on Disney because they feel safe allowing their children to run free. Your children are not safe anywhere. The same vigilance must be applied on vacation as you would at home....or do you supervise your children at home?
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