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-   -   PUSHY PEOPLE (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/travel-gripes/314564-pushy-people.html)

reverendjeff May 24th, 2006 11:44 AM

PUSHY PEOPLE
 
Is it just me or have the rest of you noticed this. It seems that the same people who are pushing up against me at port to board the ship, are the same ones who are fighting to get off the ship first upon return.
I can understand when people want to get on the ship in a hurry, but are they that excited about going back home?
I prefer to stay on board until they make me leave.

pantux May 24th, 2006 12:52 PM

I agree. Those that want to be the first ones on also want to be the first ones to leave. Hurry up and wait seems to be the philosphy of many. I really hate when I have an early flight and the area around the gangway is so cluttered by people who just want to get off that you are held up getting off the ship. Where ever possible I will stay on the ship until the end and leave the ship at a nice relaxed pace also I perfer to get on the ship when there is less of a crowd. Not always possible but I try.

flamomo May 24th, 2006 01:59 PM

Gotta Be FIRST!!!
 
Seems as though there are some people who just have to be first, whether there is a justifying reason or not. If they are not actually pushing or trying to cut into the line, they are griping nonstop because "it's taking too long!".
Since we never book flights to return home the same day as the day a cruise ends, we are only too happy to be among the last to disembark. We like to prolong the pleasure as long as we can.
I figure we may live a little longer because we are not as stressed as those "rush and push" folks are.

Donna May 24th, 2006 07:50 PM

I have to agree, it sometimes feels like people are always in a hurry, either coming or going. It could be though, that they have an early flight?? I know once the vacation is over, I'd just rather be home already.

LisaK May 25th, 2006 10:01 AM

totally agree with all of you, and chances are these people are same ones who have to be first in line to tender, to get off the ship for excursions, first in the buffet line, etc, etc, etc.- some folks just have to be first.

mehawk May 27th, 2006 07:41 AM

Confusing and interesting at the same time.

DavidBgood May 27th, 2006 02:33 PM

Ahhh....the pushy people syndrome. We all see them every time we go on ship because they do not meet your level of courtesy or action.....and given that they will always stand out from the crowd and always appear to be in your face.

It's all about two things: self centered bullies and how others react to them. So....

I don’t like you and your attitude, so I will remember your face out of all these people I am sailing with
And
You do things different from me, but I will not say something at the time to avoid personal confrontation….but I will moan later

My thought is, say it either in the buffet or tender Q in a nice way but forceful enough if they have stepped over the mark of acceptance regarding others.

Better said at the time as they may see ignoring it as an acceptance of how they are going to be for this cruise and towards everyone else. So target early… as they are chilled as peope in this is how we are going to be, not caring that others are seeing their blood pressure rise by holding the frustration in regarding them.

Tell these people, that this is not acceptable and make them embarrassed by their self centered actions. They in their own way are bullies with no respect for you or others.... so say it at the time or they will think they can always act and react in this way towards others.

This is not just a cruise thing, I see it everyday even in the supermarket.

Going through checkout and suddenly over my shoulder appears “a voice? and “ a presence? that suddenly thinks it can question the cashier on whatever problem they seem to have, ignoring the needs or give respect to those in front of them. That’s IGNORANCE

The Q stops, everyone is looking embarrassed. But the David B says. “Excuse me, I’ve already been ten minutes in this Q, this may be important to you, but not that important that I cant finish my shopping, could you please go to the back of the Q. I would appreciate it?.

You know what they do, like lambs they go silent and slope off usually with a look in my direction and a smile from all those around me. I can take that. Sometimes you have to tell people that they are out of order and what they they doing is not acceptable.

Will May 27th, 2006 06:32 PM

:idea:

Bunch May 27th, 2006 07:23 PM

My favourite pushy people story is actually from an airplane. We were on a flight from Madrid to Newark. Upon landing, everyone stood up in the aisle (as we all do), and waited for the door to open to the jetway. A woman behind us started staying "excuse me! excuse me!" and pushing her way through. She got to my husband, who was behind me, and said, "excuse me, I have a connecting flight!". He turned to her and said, "and we don't?". That shut her up and she meekly stayed in the back.

I was a landed immigrant at the time and was taken to immigration to have my documents checked, and she was there too --- but they didn't release her for whatever reason. Guess she missed her connecting flight. Maybe it was Karma?

reverendjeff May 30th, 2006 02:58 PM

David, I actually do confront the offenders at the time. This problem is not limited to cruises, but my problem is wondering why the hurry on vacation?
To push ahead of me or anyone else is making a statement. The statement is that where I am going and what I am doing is more important than what anyone else is doing.
Being pushy is a selfish act, and it is a shame that people choose to behave this way.

cruisequeen May 30th, 2006 03:56 PM

I really do think that people are more pushy then they ever used to be. I am one who doesn't hesitate to speak my mind. If someone is trying to push ahead of me, I will turn and ask them if there is an emergency or if there is some problem I am not aware of. Or I will simply stand my ground and ask them to wait their turn. I am more than happy to allow others to go ahead of me (as I walk with a cane and know I walk slower than most) until they try to force their way ahead with no regard to anyone else. Then I get upset and make sure others around me hear my questioning of their rude behavior! I try to be polite but there are some people who don't understand polite and need to see the other side of my personality!

GBeret May 30th, 2006 07:48 PM

It seems like these "pushy people" are always around us in all the locations and activities we do. Why the do these things on vacations and cruises where everything should be relaxed is beyond me!

I will confront them whenever or wherever, they try to push me aside. At 6'2" and 200+ lbs not very many of them get by. :twisted:

Why is it that people get right up in the aisle(s) in aircraft and tour buses. etc.? In the aircraft most stand there for a long time. Why not wait until the front starts moving at least.

In the tour buses, I usually throw my leg into the aisle and block passage of those behind me. When I stand, I take a step backwards and let my spouse get out as well. I've been known to step on some toes, on that step back. :wink:

Are people from large Eastern cities, perhaps the most pushy? Sometimes in IMHO they appear to be, or is it just all "big" city folk?

Another pet peeve of mine that I experienced on a recent cruise tour bus, was a women that was talking on her Cell phone while the tour guide was trying to tell us things! The Cell phone talker was talking so loud that she overpowered the tour guide. People to include myself told her to Shut up!

cozzette1 May 30th, 2006 08:19 PM

LOL thank you GBERET, I am a tour guide and I have people on their phone ruining everyone else's tour because their life is so important and everyone gets to share in their conversation. I usually have the opposite of pushing, I get the tourists who expect the whole bus to wait while.

1. We all get to sit in the bus and wait for a member of their party who is "on the way "

2. Run to the car to get something they forgot

3. [ this is the best ] hold everyone up while they run to the car to nurse the baby

4. wait while they finish smoking

I have had more than one person continue talking on the cell and I just shut up and stare until they get the hint that the tour doesn't start until they hang up.

So, to me, pushy is also self absorbed individuals that think they are more important than anyone else :shock:

Fruitcake May 31st, 2006 12:45 PM

Pushy people from Big Eastern Cities? LOL
I grew up in one --> yes, it seems many people from those big, crowded cities (family still lives there) can be called pushy. Maybe because they are used to crowds waiting for buses, trains, taxis, etc.?
When I moved to the Midwest, I found people were so much more relaxed and not as pushy.
Still, I imagine it is universal, the urge to get ahead, to be first.
Ever go to Disney World? It's terrible there, the way people push or try to jump lines.

On cruise ships we are among the last to disembark, which is fine with us. I like to steal an extra hour or so out on deck, thinking back on the great week I've just spent!

If you watch the way people drive, it is all about being first. I was in an area where the speed limit is 55. I was doing 60 and people were passing me as if I were standing still. I increased my speed to 70 --> same thing.
I wondered if I were doing 90 mph, would someone blow by me just to get ahead?

Ron May 31st, 2006 02:51 PM

True-- A few days ago my son and I went to eat breakfast. As we entered the restaurant, he went to the men's room and I went to the hostess desk.
There was a gentleman standing there obviously waiting. There was a
" lady " behind me. The hostess came up after a few seconds and said something to the man who was waiting. He replied that he was waiting for his wife. The hostess then asked who was next, and as she said that the " lady " that had been behind me stepped to the side of me and said she was. I said excuse me, I was actually here before you but if it's that important to you, please go ahead. I don't think they will run out of eggs before I get to eat.
When the hostess took her to her seat, the man who was waiting was commenting about how rude people had become. When my son and I were seated, we were seated close to the " lady ". Imagine her surprise when my son looked over at her and called her by her first name and asked her how she was doing today ! My son is a dept. administrator in a large school system and this lady actually works for him. She looked like she wanted to crawl under the table. I explained to my son what had happened and we had a good laugh about it.

True--- about 2 hours ago, I was at a large retailers, returning an item. There was 2 people working the customer service desks and both were busy. There was one lady in front of me, and then me. As we stood waiting, a non-english speaking lady came up and stood next to the lady in front of me. When the next cust. serv. rep. was finished, she stepped right up to the desk. I said hold on just a moment--- this lady was next, then me. The line is at the rear. She pretended not to understand but I made it plain enough to her where she should be and she slunk to the back. The lady in front of me thanked me. I don'y know if she would have spoken up on her own or not.
I believe in standing up for what's right. I don't look for trouble nor try to start it . I usually will take a step back from it but will not back up 2 steps.

So, people who are pushy are pushy everywhere they go, not just on a plane or a cruiseship.

Fruitcake June 1st, 2006 12:49 PM

Wow, Ron, loved that first story! HA!!!
How rare it is that we see people in that kind of situation. She must have been dying inside from the embarrassment!
You handled it all so well.

I agree -- pushy people keep up their attitude when on vacation. They want the front seats to watch the shows, they want to get ahead of everyone in the buffet line, etc.

reverendjeff June 1st, 2006 02:33 PM

Early on in my marriage I discovered that my wife has a real problem with people who encroach on her personal space. I had to toughen up in case someone threw down on us due to her comments to the pushy people.
We are both very civil these days, but not too meek to correct someone when they are in error. :twisted:

DavidBgood June 1st, 2006 03:18 PM

For me the whole debate was summed up by cozzette1

"So, to me, pushy is also self absorbed individuals that think they are more important than anyone else ".

Thats it... whatever is their head, whatever they have to do, they do it no matter what and the rest of us are just articles in the way of achieving it

Fruitcake June 1st, 2006 03:23 PM

Imagine being that important!
**snicker**
Or self-important anyway.

trailhiker July 10th, 2006 04:53 PM

You have to experience Brazilians to know what pushy people are like. On a cruise years ago, on the Sea Wind Crown, we were minorities. Evidently the ship had been used almost exlusivly for years by folks from Brazil. The first night on board my husband had to go to the cabin and had me wait in a particular place up on deck. I was almost pushed overboard by these South Americans who were determined to move their table and chairs to where I was standing. All during the week, up until the morning of departure, they pushed and shoved and cut in line. What a nightmare.

Fieldmouse July 10th, 2006 10:55 PM

Ah...but it can go the other way too!

While on the Celebrity GTS Infinity...we wanted to look into booking another cruise while on board...for the little extra's you know. :wink:

The Infinity has a very small office dedicated for this purpose, and when my husband and I approched we saw about 3 other passengers sitting outside the office door waiting. I briefly looked around and then started toward the office door...A male passenger IMMEDIATELY jumped up and said, "Hey lady, there's a line here!"...

I commented in a calm voice, "I know that, I was just looking to see if there was a passenger sign in sheet".

Sometimes we can be so in a hurry to address 'our rights'...we presume or
assume that someone is violating them, when they are NOT....we've got to be careful not to jump to conclusions!

Desdemona01 July 11th, 2006 04:50 PM

When I'm in a checkout lane and someone with just a few items comes up I always let them go before me, but I resent it when people cut in front and use some excuse. Yesterday I stopped at the local supermarket to buy donuts for my hard-working staff on my way to work. I had picked out the majority of them but the other case was being blocked by a man who was taking his time. As soon as he left I started to open that case when an elderly man walked up and took the door out of my hand and said "I ONLY NEED ONE!". No "may I?", or "do you mind?". I had already been standing there for several minutes so I looked at him and said "I'm trying to get to work, but I guess it's more important to you that you push in front of me". This store has a restaurant and the retired men in the area meet there every morning for breakfast and gossip. He clearly had more time than I did and he had NO IDEA how many donuts I was getting from that case but he seemed to think that he was entitled to just bully his way in. And, these are the same people who will usually complain about the "rude younger generation"!

Grdner July 11th, 2006 10:00 PM

I agree with your views on pushy people - but, here is another perspective. For health reasons I hve to walk 5 - 8 k a day at a good clip. I overheard a man comment on why was I in such a hurry - now, I never block other people, bump into them or infringe on their right to stroll so what was his problem? I now walk the passageways on a cruise and stand back against the wall when others come by. yes, I hurry to the evening performances because if I don't get a seat up front I don't hear a thing since I am severely hearing impaired.

As to being in line first at the buffet - we like to get the food while it is fresh and hot and since we eat at the first sitting for dinner we don't want to eat too late at lunch time. What's wrong with being first in line as long as you haven't pushed in to be there?

susieon July 11th, 2006 11:15 PM

I'm with you. I would gladly be the last one off the ship!

JamesRT September 8th, 2006 09:28 PM

Want to see "PUSHY PEOPLE? Go to Branson and watch the senior citizens.

big apple September 11th, 2006 11:57 AM

Better yet go to south Miami Beach and in particular any grocery store.Lived in Miami for 26 years and worked retail in that market.My advice is to be just as rude as they expeect this otherwise will walk all over you and not think anything of it.

Fieldmouse September 11th, 2006 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big apple
Better yet go to south Miami Beach and in particular any grocery store.Lived in Miami for 26 years and worked retail in that market.My advice is to be just as rude as they expeect this otherwise will walk all over you and not think anything of it.

N0oooooo! I for one, refused to let other people condition me.

We should have good manners no matter HOW others treat us. Good manners are not a coat that you put on or take off at our convenience. They should be deeply ingrained in us, so we response automatically in a kind manner.

If we treat others badly because they treat us that way...we're no better than they are. If we have children or grandchildren...what are they learning?

We should do what's right because it's right...accept the fact, we won't always be appreciated for it...BUT that's not why we do what's right anyway, is it?

Floridanamaw September 11th, 2006 08:58 PM

Seniors getting off a bus going into a casino. They will run over you trying to get to that slot machine!!!!

Paul B September 13th, 2006 04:52 PM

We seniors are pushy because we can't be certain when our fun will stop permanently, and we wish to squeeze in every moment that we can. :mrgreen:

JamesRT September 13th, 2006 05:05 PM

PaulB :D


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