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Old December 20th, 2006, 05:13 PM
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Default What to do???

Have you ever witnessed a passenger behaving rudely to a crew member?
Something so over the top, you just couldn't believe your eyes and ears?
What did you do?

I was in line at one of the stations in the Lido [HAL ship] and a woman was ordering her breakfast. She was instructing the cook as to how to prepare her eggs. She was getting more and more hysterical as she spoke, then nearly lost it when he handed her the plate and the eggs were not cooked exactly how she wanted them.

I thought she was going to pass out -- her voice was hoarse and she was wheezing. She was hurling all sorts of insults at the poor guy.

I wasn't sure what to do. I knew if I directed some comments at her, it would have put her over the edge.
So instead I tried to be extra nice to the cook and wished him a good day.
But the nasty woman probably took no note of my behavior.
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Old December 21st, 2006, 11:48 AM
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The one and only cruise where I observed a LOT of this was on a Caribbean cruise that got caught by an approaching hurricane. We were headed back to the home port when the captain found out that the hurricane was headed there as well. He took us back out to sea, well out of the path of the storm. Actually, he didn't really have a choice, as the port had been closed!
The cruise line went out of their way to make everything as painless as possible, including rescheduling everyone's transportation home. We were happy to get an extra day of cruising. But, I was amazed how many people were furious with the cruise line and took it out on the staff.
The purser's desk especially got yelled at, threatened, etc., etc. I got the fact that a lot of folks were scared, and many were truly inconvenienced, but, as I found myself repeating over and over to people, it wasn't like the cruise line did this on purpose. There is a reason hurricanes fall under the "act of God" category. One very elitist guy at our table yelled at the busboy about it. I could not help myself. I started laughing. Here was a highly educated, seemingly very intelligent man blaming a hurricane on a busboy! Puhlease.
Marty
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Old December 21st, 2006, 04:17 PM
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Fruitcake, you did the right thing, it's not your fight. It must happen all the time for crew members and 7x365 but we just get a glimpse

Me, I would stay out her way...nutter. But if she happened to be on my table or in a less public place, then I may say something regarding what I experienced. But even for all my upfront, I still choose to ignore the nutters,,they are not worth me getting up tight about, they as sure as the sun rises, will be somewhere on my cruise

Cant sort them all out
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Old December 21st, 2006, 05:49 PM
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I had a tooth abscess and had to see the ships doctor. He was a very nice and fixed me right up even though it was fairly late. (Saved my trip actually)

While I was waiting a lady wandered in and told the doctor she needed to see him. As a matter of fact she “demanded� to see him and butted ahead of me in line.

She said he had a headache and wanted “serious medication� for it. He was very good and tried to diffuse the situation. He offered her some Tylenol and asked if she would wait until he finished up with me.

She said no, her head hurt and she wanted something “harder� than Tylenol. He naturally refused and said she would have to have a consultation or prescription if she were to get any stronger drugs.

She said “FXXX That, I’m not paying because I already know what medication I need�. He, again politely, asked “Do you have a prescription from a doctor?� Her answer was “No, but my sister-in-law is a nurse�. Doctors reply “I’m sorry I can’t prescribe without an exam or prescription�. Her response� Really it’s not problem I normally take Oxycodone or Meperidine�. The doctor was taken aback I think and paused for a moment. He said “Miss I’m sorry I refuse to prescribe Oxycodone or Meperidine for a headache without a note from your doctor�. She stormed off without a word and we thought it was over.

The doctor and I stared at each other for a while and I mentioned that was rather strange. He gave me a shrug and a smile and said you may be surprised how often that happens. He continued with my exam. Well about 10 minutes later she comes back in. Again she says “I order you to give me something stronger than Tylenol�. He said “Miss I’m sorry I refuse to do so�. This made her extremely agitated and she mentioned something about going to the captain. I couldn’t believe she actually thought she could “order� the ships doctor to do anything!

Funny thing is later I saw the woman laughing smiling and drinking profuse amounts of alcohol in the theater. She didn’t seem to have a serious headache then.
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Old December 21st, 2006, 06:54 PM
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There is absolutely no excuse to behave this way toward the crew. I have not witnessed this onboard ship, but in any public setting, I will go out of my way to offer an apology for the "person" and then I tend to find someway to encourage the person and leave them with a smile on their face.
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Old December 21st, 2006, 07:08 PM
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In a situation where you see someone acting badly toward a crew member you should not intervene directly into the situation. If the crew member is not handling the situation then find another crew member to help.

They are trained in how to handle guests. By putting yourself into a situation you will probably make it worse for you, the crew member and the irate guest.

The crew deals with unreasonable passengers everyday and they should receive combat pay for it. Often the unreasonable passenger just needs to blow off some steam.

Take care,
Mike
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Old December 21st, 2006, 09:26 PM
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Ah yes…….

There they are. They demand much and offer little. They’re bigger, they’re better, and they’re entitled.

The bullies of the world.

And so it is that we go about our lives. And they go about their’s. And along the way our paths may intersect.

And when they do, poor behaviour toward another must be confronted. To do less grants tacit approval to it.

Honour demands that we aid those in distress.

There is nothing so cowardly as attacking those who are paid to serve. It is all too easy to go after those not in authority. And cowards don’t like confrontation with equals.

It isn’t wrong to stand up for someone. It isn’t wrong to take a stand. There can be no greater honour than to stand with your fellow man.

And when all is said and done, if it is written that we stood for something, that we stood with our fellow man, I can think of no better words.

Dean
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Old December 21st, 2006, 10:43 PM
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Dean:

I agree completely in your principal but the cruise line, the officers and the crew do not want other passengers to escalate a situation. A cruise ship is not an open society and not the streets of the city.

I find nothing more loathsome than seeing some cretin treating someone, who's job it is to offer them comfort and service, like a second class human being. The people who do this are nothing more than bullies or have their own issues to deal with.

The problem is that many people will intervene with the most noble intentions and very little tact and the person who ultimately suffers is the crewman. You may hear about how a bully or obnoxious passenger was put in their place by someone but you don't hear about the screaming matches, or worse, that ensue when two or more passengers get into it and a crew member now has a worse situation to deal with.

That is why I stated "find another crew member to help." (Within reason: If someone is physically assaulting a crew member, then it's time to step in.)

What you say to the passenger, at a later time, is your own business.

Take care,
Mike
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Old December 22nd, 2006, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by new22003
I had a tooth abscess and had to see the ships doctor. He was a very nice and fixed me right up even though it was fairly late. (Saved my trip actually)

While I was waiting a lady wandered in and told the doctor she needed to see him. As a matter of fact she “demanded� to see him and butted ahead of me in line.

She said he had a headache and wanted “serious medication� for it. He was very good and tried to diffuse the situation. He offered her some Tylenol and asked if she would wait until he finished up with me.

She said no, her head hurt and she wanted something “harder� than Tylenol. He naturally refused and said she would have to have a consultation or prescription if she were to get any stronger drugs.

She said “FXXX That, I’m not paying because I already know what medication I need�. He, again politely, asked “Do you have a prescription from a doctor?� Her answer was “No, but my sister-in-law is a nurse�. Doctors reply “I’m sorry I can’t prescribe without an exam or prescription�. Her response� Really it’s not problem I normally take Oxycodone or Meperidine�. The doctor was taken aback I think and paused for a moment. He said “Miss I’m sorry I refuse to prescribe Oxycodone or Meperidine for a headache without a note from your doctor�. She stormed off without a word and we thought it was over.

The doctor and I stared at each other for a while and I mentioned that was rather strange. He gave me a shrug and a smile and said you may be surprised how often that happens. He continued with my exam. Well about 10 minutes later she comes back in. Again she says “I order you to give me something stronger than Tylenol�. He said “Miss I’m sorry I refuse to do so�. This made her extremely agitated and she mentioned something about going to the captain. I couldn’t believe she actually thought she could “order� the ships doctor to do anything!

Funny thing is later I saw the woman laughing smiling and drinking profuse amounts of alcohol in the theater. She didn’t seem to have a serious headache then.
Sounds like to me she was an addict to me and when she could not get the drugs she drowned her craving with alcohol. I wonder if her sister the nurse was stealing stuff for her. I bet at one time she had a prescription and her doctor refused to give her a new prescription for it to keep her from becoming dependant and then she would getting her source elsewhere.
A junkie can become very extreme when they are craving their fix. A normally nice person completely changes.
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Old December 22nd, 2006, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike M
Dean:

I agree completely in your principal but the cruise line, the officers and the crew do not want other passengers to escalate a situation. A cruise ship is not an open society and not the streets of the city.

I find nothing more loathsome than seeing some cretin treating someone, who's job it is to offer them comfort and service, like a second class human being. The people who do this are nothing more than bullies or have their own issues to deal with.

The problem is that many people will intervene with the most noble intentions and very little tact and the person who ultimately suffers is the crewman. You may hear about how a bully or obnoxious passenger was put in their place by someone but you don't hear about the screaming matches, or worse, that ensue when two or more passengers get into it and a crew member now has a worse situation to deal with.

That is why I stated "find another crew member to help." (Within reason: If someone is physically assaulting a crew member, then it's time to step in.)

What you say to the passenger, at a later time, is your own business.

Take care,
Mike
I agree Mike. You just make a bad matter worse and chances are the person being attacked will no thank you for it as you have made the situation worse. You end up looking like a fool. I know because I have foolishly tried to aid aperson before and you know nowadays with all the crazies out there-you could end up killed- granted people can
t bring guns on board-but an unstable person who feels you wornged them can always find a way to cause harm.

Now this is what I would do. I would look for a ship's officer and inform them. If I do't see one close by-go and find a phone and call the purser's desk
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Old December 22nd, 2006, 12:21 PM
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In a less extreme situation, I will make a point of telling the abused crew member that I know that things are not their fault and that I am grateful for everything that the crew does for the passengers. While I don't confront the bully directly, my voice does tend to get a tad louder...hopefully just loud enough for the bully to hear. That way, if they do decide to take it out on me, I can play all inoocent. Although, being a middle aged woman with health problems has some advantages, one being that even most bullies have enough decency not to attack. At the very least, I try to make the victim feel a bit better.
Marty
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Old December 22nd, 2006, 03:49 PM
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Marty, your post makes a lot of sense.
I think it's good to try to set an example.
I just wish there was the *perfect* remark to make to a complainer/bully that would let that person know exactly how rude he/she is!

I think what bothered me was the woman who was verbally abusing the crew member was looking at me -- an innocent bystander waiting in line -- for support!
In other words, she kept turning to me, almost to get me to agree with her complaints!

As far as going to look for an officer, I discussed that after the situation with some people, and the consensus was that the crew member might feel that he had the situation under control, and bringing in a boss might do more harm than good.

Certainly the bully would see the officer's presence as more support for her cause, and would try to enlist his support. And of course the officer would have to be nice to her!

I [or my husband] spoke with the hotel manager, guest relations rep, assistant CD and other officers during the cruise to let them know how many rude pax we had encountered.
Several told us this particular cruise had proven "very challenging" to the staff.
They were being diplomatic.
I have never, ever been among so many ill-mannered people.
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Old December 22nd, 2006, 05:14 PM
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This crap in nil-respect for people "doing a job" is not only on ships, we see it everyday in life from the cashier in the store not being quick enough to whatever. :evil:

My latest personal example happened in work, "a guy" decided that he could not push our revolving entrance door to access the building as he had a "sore back". So he stood screaming and banging on the adjacent glass fire doors demanding and screaming that the security guy open them to let him just walk in....What a scene from this guy and not matter what he was told re alarms etc...he would not give in and was terrible both in voice and attitude.

When through the glass he was offered the wheelchair / ramp entrance, again he went mental and was not prepared to go back and walk up the ramp...see a HE'S A NUTTER, dont get involved.

For two cents I would have confronted him...but not my job. But I watched and I listened and after he had given in and "pushed the door" still screaming and shouting back to his work place. I approached our lovely security guy who was now visably shaken by it and told him if wanted to report this guys actions...then I would be a witness to it.

Sometimes that's as much as you can offer, but never stick yourself in the middle at the time and for the right, but as Mike says all the wrong reasons. As it can turn on you, just like getting in the middle of a husband and wife arguement
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Old December 27th, 2006, 02:43 PM
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Default An even more uncomfortable variation on the theme

Witnessing this kind of behavior on the part of my "fellow" passengers just drives me NUTS-- it doesn't ruin my trip, but it sure injects an unwanted sour note into my day. It's hard for me to resist making some non-sequitur comment to the offender just to interrupt their rant and throw them off their game, along the lines of Dana Carvey's "Church Lady" catchphrase, "Well, isn't that SPECIAL??"

I've told this story on these boards before, probably a couple of years back, but it bears repeating, since it's an even more uncomfortable variation on this theme-- namely, low-level frontline service personnel taking abuse not from passengers, but from their superiors-- and as you'll see, in this case, I use the word "superior" very loosely/sarcastically.

In Jan 2003, I enjoyed a week aboard Celebrity's shiny new Constellation round-trip from San Juan. After a couple of previous cruises on much older vessels, this ship was a knockout, and the line's dedication to topnotch service was always evident, right down to the constant cleaning of every public space. One evening, a young crew guy with a Jetsons-looking vacuum cleaner strapped to his back was working on one of the main stairways when some passing Greek officer in the hotel department decided he wasn't doing it exactly right-- his strokes were diagonal rather than parallel to the stair treads or something.

But instead of merely quietly correcting his form and letting him get on with it, the officer launched into a shouting minute-long diatribe about how poor little vacuum guy was a complete idiot, as if he'd been doing something totally unacceptable, like vacuuming old passengers' toupees off for a prank or something. And when the crew member just tried to get on with his work and disarm the officer with an embarrassed little smile, that only made the officer angrier and louder-- "Oh, you think is FUNNY? YOU THINK IS FUNNY?!!"-- and so on. Vaccuum Guy couldn't even look up after that; he looked like he just wanted to drop through the floor. And I just stood there a dozen or so feet up the stairs, literally open-mouthed with disbelief at what a giant flaming A-hole this bastard was being. What could I do?

When he was finally done shouting and walked away, I went over to the crewman and started doing a nasty imitation of the officer-- no words, just twisting my face up into a rictus of mock-rage and making noises like a quacking duck stuck on fast-forward for a few seconds. We both cracked up laughing, and from then on, whenever he saw me through the rest of the week, he gave me a huge grin and a wave.

Sometimes just showing you understand and sympathize is all you can do...and it can really make a difference. In retrospect, however, I wish I'd reported that officer to the head of the department-- out-of-control behavior like that sure wasn't making anybody's cruise experience any better!
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Old December 27th, 2006, 06:20 PM
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We were on the RCCI Rhapsody of the Seas; when we witnessed an elderly man go 'Postal'.

We were having breakfast in the Buffet, and noticed an elderly couple sitting at the next table. The wife got up and left...and the husband a minute later got up and left...the table sat empty for a bunch of minutes.

Two bus boys came by and starting cleaning the table off for the next guests...when suddenly the older gentleman re-appeared. He started screaming immediately about his plates being removed. One of the bus boys tried to explain they thought he and his wife had finished eating...they apologized again and again. The man continued to scream...and I do not mean just using his outside voice or a raise voice...he was screaming...out of control, "How can you do this!" "Where's my food?"
"What kind of service is this when you can't leave your own food unprotected?�

Again and again with lowered heads and in very quiet calm voices these two bus boys said how sorry they were, but to no avail. They offered to get more food for him…NO NO…he insisted he wanted the food on the plates they had dumped. No other food would do. Finally one left and came back with some chocolate pudding, placed it on the table with a spoon and napkin...and asks the gentleman if he would like to eat this.
Our mouths dropped open as the man grumbled, but sat down and ate his pudding in silenced.

We were totally amazed, this was like a scene from Candid Camera...no adult would seriously act like that! YUP they would and do.
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Old December 28th, 2006, 05:01 PM
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Such rude passengers!!!

The woman I encountered, who nearly had a heart attack over how her eggs were prepared, kept shouting to the cook that she wanted them dry!
I don't know how much *drier* he could have made that omelet before he burned it!

But she was a quivering mess about it.
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Old December 28th, 2006, 09:40 PM
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Pardon the departure from topic, but Fieldmouse, may I just take a moment to tell you how much I enjoy that picture!

I don't know what's better-- the pink dye job or the static electricity hairstyle!

Regards, jeph
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Old December 29th, 2006, 12:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeph
Pardon the departure from topic, but Fieldmouse, may I just take a moment to tell you how much I enjoy that picture!

I don't know what's better-- the pink dye job or the static electricity hairstyle!

Regards, jeph
Thank you!...You know, I happen to wear this look to a party once, and it was so popular that I decided to keep it!
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