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  #61 (permalink)  
Old February 25th, 2007, 08:53 PM
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JeanS, I would say your comment was racist. Perhaps "ethnic", but I am American too. Doesn't hurt my feelings but, yes, people have to have manners.
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Old February 25th, 2007, 09:02 PM
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Mehawk, MY comments were racist??? Hmmm, I'd be curious to know how you figure that???

Maybe you mis-read my post...I was asking Momofmeg, how SHE figures that most American children are out of control...that was NOT my comment.
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Old February 26th, 2007, 05:24 AM
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Have been following this thread to see if we were ever anyone's "worst table mates", so far we have lucked out!!
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Old February 26th, 2007, 06:03 PM
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Maybe we are lucky or the stars are always in proper alignment or whatever, but we have never had what you would call bad tablemates. The oddest set up was on a Carnival cruise where we were seated at a table with 13 people - all but me were women. They were from four different countries speaking three languages (actually four if you count Spanish and Portuguese separately even as they understood each other). Several of the women never got their bags until the fifth day of the cruise, and so they were underdressed to be sure but did the best they could. We could not change our table the first two nights, but by night three we hung in there for the strange experience that it turned out to be.
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Old February 27th, 2007, 04:19 PM
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We have never ever had bad tablemates. Four princess, two Norwegian, one Costa. First time on Carnival. I hope Carnival doesn't break the string. This thread scares me. I could understand language problems, which we never had, but poor manners are inexcusable.
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Old February 28th, 2007, 08:22 AM
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Hi everyone.
I have enjoyed reading this thread. DH and I are talking our first cruise ever Sunday on the Norwegian Sun. I'm looking forward to some quiet dinners together but also meeting some new people. I think even the bad experiences become funny stories later for the most part.
Not on a cruise but last year we went to Mexico and started chating in the hot tub with to guys. I should tell you that we couldn't have been any different. DH is a lead singer of a rock band and we both have several tattoos. These men looked like opposites of us. The conversation started by all of us talking about where we graduated college from and then it comes out both of these men were both Catholic Priest! It was so encourging to me that we had nothing in common but had so much to discuss. I love meeting new people from all walks of life and it sounds like a crusing is a good place to do that.
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Old February 28th, 2007, 09:22 AM
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cat25..have an awesome time. I hope you meet some interesting and nice people. Cheers!
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Old February 28th, 2007, 11:24 AM
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Hi Cat25, you have a GREAT attitude! One of the great things about cruising is meeting new people you might otherwise never meet! Glad to hear you don't have a closed mind and just want to sit off by yourself with your hubby.

Hope you have a great time! (BTW, Hubby & I have multiple tattoos too, they can be addicting!)
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Old February 28th, 2007, 01:51 PM
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I guess I'm just a closed minded boor. I thought we already went over this. Jeez.
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Old February 28th, 2007, 04:40 PM
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<now tell us what you really think> hehehe
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Old March 14th, 2007, 02:10 AM
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Haha. We were lucky enough to have great tablemates on all our cruises, except 2 cruises ago when we had "the noseblower". EVERY night. He could work as the ship's horn. Terribly nasty. He wouldn't even turn away, it was usually in front of his soup
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Old March 14th, 2007, 09:59 AM
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My wife and I have been pretty lucky with our table mates. I think we sat with one couple that we thought we could do with out. The wife of this couple made certain we knew she had a big house on Long Island NY and a BMW. Her voice was loud and disturbing. Her mouth just kept on going letting us know just how great her material wealth was. She gave the impression that we should be fortunate to be sitting with them. My wife is a sweet dear and tried to make conversation with her but even her willingness was short lived in the eye of this woman’s storm. The last night of the cruise they decided to eat else where giving us and the people around us some needed peace and relative quiet. My wife and I are modest people and in the company of newly met people we like to talk about general topics like her gardening or my electric train hobby. The whole time we really never got to know them, but got a pretty good idea what their closets looked like.
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Old March 14th, 2007, 08:44 PM
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Well, I can honestly say that we've enjoyed our tablemates at both of our previous cruises....which is why I will *never* take a cruise with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law....because they would definitely be on everyone's "worst tablemates" list, including mine *grin*

Lisa
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Old March 15th, 2007, 01:52 PM
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LadyStahr I beg to differ. No one is as crazy as my sister in-law. If my wife and I had to cruise and eat dinner with her I would throw her off the ship and into the blue deep. She is a naturalist who does not believe in eating meat. She eats only organic vegetables and makes comments to those who don't. She even buys clothes which are made from organic or natural cloths. My wife and I once invited her and husband to dinner. I cooked most of dinner for this nut and her wimpy husband and all she did was complain about it. What is so dangerous about sausage and peppers, pasta, Italian bread and a few other Italian dishes? She even complained that the wine was not organic. I lost my temper and told her she was nuts. Well the dinner was over in less that 17 minutes and my wife and I were happy to see them go. Would you believe they did not even bring desert! Some people have no manners.
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Old March 15th, 2007, 01:57 PM
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Ya sure ya wanted HER dessert?
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Old March 15th, 2007, 03:33 PM
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I would have to say my worst tablemates have been my relatives. We have taken 18 cruises, 2 with family. My dad had to complain about everything. My sister's children acted like obnoxious brats. Even my son who is a year older than they are complained about their behavior. My sister kept wanting to monopolize the conversation. On all of our cruises without family, we have had great tablemates. We always ask for seating at a large table so that we can make new friends. Hopefully, we'll get good tablemates on our next cruise. I would hate to have 16 days of bad tablemates.
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Old March 15th, 2007, 03:42 PM
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Great post, made me chuckle. You cant pick your table mates in the same way you cant pick your family. But one you can leave behind after 7 or ten days

Nice one
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Old March 16th, 2007, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JeanS
Mehawk, MY comments were racist??? Hmmm, I'd be curious to know how you figure that???

Maybe you mis-read my post...I was asking Momofmeg, how SHE figures that most American children are out of control...that was NOT my comment.
From being around bratty children that should know better. I know when my daughter was little we would try and control her and if we couldn't we would leave- we left many a restuarant with doggie bags and quite a few movies before they were over because she was misbehaving-now people's attitude is it doesn't matter if a child acts up because they are children.

but I have noticed on cruises anyway-when the people are not americans-the children act much better.

Now I don't mean everyone-maybe your grandchildren are well behaved and I tell you this-if my daughter ever has any children and she expects me to baby sit for her I WILL discipline those children and not allow them to act up in public at least when they are with ME.

and it can be done-by the time our daughter was 4 years old; we could take her in public;as she knew if she acted up and was not sick or some other extenduating circumstance-she would be punished-for example we would not let her watch her favorite TV show or we would cancel a playdate she had with a friend-(several of us stay at home moms would take turns keeping the kids to play together a couple of times every week) after that happened a few times; she learned there were consequences to her actions and she would behave.
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Old March 17th, 2007, 01:01 AM
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momofmeg since I decided to become an educator I can't believe the horrible behavior I have seen from middle school students in New York. I have almost completed my master’s degree in secondary education and while fulfilling my required class room observation requirements I have seen on numerous occasions students (12-14 years of age) physically and verbally fighting with the school's staff. Race and wealth structure plays no part in the forms of misbehavior I have witnessed. They are all engaged equally in their disruptive practices. I have spent a great deal of time speaking to seasoned teachers about what could be done and most of them are clueless. None of these fine people want to loose their positions or get sued because good old mom and dad did not have the sense to discipline their kids. In college new teachers are being instructed that we should set the example and teach not only our content but morals and personal development when student's parents fail to live up to their responsibility. While I am not crazy about this practice, it has become a regular responsibility for all teachers. So when you see these kids running all over the ship, don't bother talking to their parents, just call the ship's security. If their parents are any thing like their kids, they might be just as physical and verbal to you. Brave new world isn't it!
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Old March 17th, 2007, 07:40 AM
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Well, momofmeg, I'm impressed that your kids knew they would be punished if they misbehaved and you followed thru. So many times I've heard parents in public threaten to punish their kids with something ridiculous ("if you don't behave, we're going to fly home right now!!") or even reasonable punishments that they don't follow thru on.

Once some snotty teenagers actually STOLE my husband's WHEELCHAIR when we were at an amusement park! We finally saw them riding around in it and confronted them. They decided they wanted to fight over it and my husband ended up giving one kid a black eye. Can you BELIEVE that the parents wanted to file charges against my husband???? The Sheriff told them to get the hell out of his office! If one of MY kids were arrested for stealing a WHEELCHAIR, they'd have to be a lot more afraid of ME than law enforcement! Oh well, we got our justice, and I'm sure the kid of those parents is probably on parole right now, or making new "friends" behind bars...
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Old March 17th, 2007, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JeanS
Well, momofmeg, I'm impressed that your kids knew they would be punished if they misbehaved and you followed thru. So many times I've heard parents in public threaten to punish their kids with something ridiculous ("if you don't behave, we're going to fly home right now!!") or even reasonable punishments that they don't follow thru on.

Once some snotty teenagers actually STOLE my husband's WHEELCHAIR when we were at an amusement park! We finally saw them riding around in it and confronted them. They decided they wanted to fight over it and my husband ended up giving one kid a black eye. Can you BELIEVE that the parents wanted to file charges against my husband???? The Sheriff told them to get the hell out of his office! If one of MY kids were arrested for stealing a WHEELCHAIR, they'd have to be a lot more afraid of ME than law enforcement! Oh well, we got our justice, and I'm sure the kid of those parents is probably on parole right now, or making new "friends" behind bars...
I know it is sad isn't it?

Stacey, if you noticed from my post, I said we left many times with our daughter acting up top keep her bad behavior from making others miserable -now when we ate out back then I am talking restuarants like Cracker Barrel,Folks, or MacDonalds-family type resturants- if she got out of control we would leave- and yes she misbehaved ALOTl until around 3 years old-I also gave her the threats and at first she ignored me-but when she learned I would follow through and she couldn't watch Batman or Lassie or woody woodPecker or she couldn't go to her friend's house for a playdate-well it was THEN we saw improvement for her behavior.

So you see we did TWO things-FIRST-we left publice places when she got out of control when she was really young-and SECOND when she was old enough to learn better-we would discipline her for misbehavior.

And that is my gripe with young people today-my lunchen mate on the one cruise whose little girl wanted to play with my silverware (I got the waiter to bring me more which I placed on the opposite of her) and who also got the bread basket and played with all the bread (I decided I did not want any bread!)-I realized the child was small-no more then 3 at the most-my gripe was the mother did not even attempt to stop her daughter-for example- she could have moved the breadbasket out of her daughter's reach-swatted her hand when the child grabbed my fork-etc.
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Old March 19th, 2007, 02:11 AM
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I never encountered out-of-control kids at the table on my various cruise adventures, but I have had one experience that made me a little queasy, with people more than old enough to know better.

In April of 2005, I was on MSC's Lirica for an 11-day cruise rt out of Ft Lauderdale that featured a big-band theme and some great ports, including Costa Rica, the Panama canal and Cartagena Colombia, which was one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen. Given the less-known cruise line, the length and season of the trip, and the big-band music, the passenger load was as senior as I had expected-- mostly decades older than me (mid-40's).

I didn't have much in common with the three elderly conservative southern couples at my table, who knew one another. The capper came about night #9, when one of the men began to favor me with some of his quaint racial theories. This guy was obviously highly intelligent-- both an MD and an attorney, a private pilot, and now helping his wife in their retirement real-estate venture-- but here he was going on about how he and the missus (who was actually originally from the midwest) would probably disinherit and disown any child of theirs who brought home somebody black as a prospective spouse. God forbid the white gene pool should be thus polluted! Being a "Member of the Tribe" as they say, it was all I could do not to come back with something along the lines of, "Oh, really? And tell me, how do you feel about JEWS?"

I had a quiet supper by myself up in the buffet the next night-- wasn't quite ready to break bread with that character again just yet.
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Old March 21st, 2007, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeph
but here he was going on about how he and the missus (who was actually originally from the midwest) would probably disinherit and disown any child of theirs who brought home somebody black as a prospective spouse. God forbid the white gene pool should be thus polluted!
It's funny ... but I've found that a lot of the elderly folks feel this way. I have a real problem with my father (93) in this regard. We'll be sitting in a restaurant and a bi-racial family will walk in. Dad will start making comments to me ... but he doesn't realize that his voice carries. I wind up panicking and trying to tell him to shut up.

I know my father and love him ... and I know that he is not really prejudiced. He has friends of all races ... and is close with our nextdoor neighbors, who are Jamacan. He just doesn't believe marriage should cross racial lines ... due primarily to the cultural differences and how they could impact the children.

I think my father's worst nightmare in this regard happened when I was a teenager ... and it had to do with an entirely different "cultural" issue. I had a little "side business" writing term papers for people. I had a rep for getting people A's ... so I was quite in demand. Made a handy little income for a kid. Anyway, a guy approached me at school for two jobs. The deal was that the customer had to gather the research materials for me, and my job was to write a customized paper. I made arrangements for him to meet me at my house with all the stuff and we would talk content and price.

Mom didn't bat an eyelash when he came over. We sat at the kitchen table and did our business. But dad chose a really bad time to come home from work. He walked in and saw this Japanese guy sitting with me at the table and his face lost all its color. Thankfully, we were just wrapping up and mom managed to get dad out of the room before he said something offensive. After the guy left, dad told me ... "don't you ever bring him or anyone like him into this house again." I was shocked. Even mom couldn't get over how angry he was. But I guess I should have seen it coming. People of his generation remember ... vividly ... Pearl Habor. It may not be right the feelings they still harbor ... but that's just the way it was.

Needless to say, I made arrangements to meet the guy at school after that. There was no talking to dad ... the feelings just ran too deep ... as they did for many of his generation.

Maybe it's the way they were raised ... but at that age, you're not gonna change them. So, I just ignore him when he starts to talk like that and if we are in public I beg him to just shut the heck up.

Blue skies ...

--rita
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Old March 21st, 2007, 12:47 PM
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Mehawk,

I'm still waiting for you to tell me which of my comments were racist. I think you had me confused with someone else...
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Old March 22nd, 2007, 02:43 PM
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And thus American Caucasians are shocked and dismayed when they go to another country and feel for the first time the effects of prejudice against them! They just can't understand how anyone could PREJUDGE them because of their nationality or race without meeting and talking to them first.

It's easy to forget that other countries and races have personal and/or national prejudices and we may be the target!

That said, prejudice is rarely based on fact, and racial prejudice is never!
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Old March 23rd, 2007, 04:05 PM
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"And thus American Caucasians are shocked and dismayed when they go to another country and feel for the first time the effects of prejudice against them! They just can't understand how anyone could PREJUDGE them because of their nationality or race without meeting and talking to them first".

Sorry bud, that’s the line I can’t agree with and further "and feel for the first time the effects of prejudice against them! "

Mmm,,,, so American Caucasians, meet for the first time prejudice on a cruise ship or in a country outside the USA, and for the first time,,,again, mmmmm.

Sorry, its not reality for me, a statement that presents, never in the USA have these people experienced prejudice. I would love to think so.

But don’t feel its reality.
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Old March 23rd, 2007, 11:01 PM
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Actually, it is very UNLIKELY Caucasians or anyone else will experience racial prejudice on a cruise ship taking in consideration the whole idea is to have an international experience. But they (Caucasians) may in another country...and it more than likely WILL be their first experience.
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Old March 24th, 2007, 05:09 PM
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, sorry that missed me,, eh
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Old March 24th, 2007, 06:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mehawk
JeanS, I would say your comment was racist. Perhaps "ethnic", but I am American too. Doesn't hurt my feelings but, yes, people have to have manners.
JeanS, there should have been a "n't" at the end of that was. I guess that was an "Oppss" on my part.
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Old March 25th, 2007, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeph
I never encountered out-of-control kids at the table on my various cruise adventures, but I have had one experience that made me a little queasy, with people more than old enough to know better.

In April of 2005, I was on MSC's Lirica for an 11-day cruise rt out of Ft Lauderdale that featured a big-band theme and some great ports, including Costa Rica, the Panama canal and Cartagena Colombia, which was one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen. Given the less-known cruise line, the length and season of the trip, and the big-band music, the passenger load was as senior as I had expected-- mostly decades older than me (mid-40's).

I didn't have much in common with the three elderly conservative southern couples at my table, who knew one another. The capper came about night #9, when one of the men began to favor me with some of his quaint racial theories. This guy was obviously highly intelligent-- both an MD and an attorney, a private pilot, and now helping his wife in their retirement real-estate venture-- but here he was going on about how he and the missus (who was actually originally from the midwest) would probably disinherit and disown any child of theirs who brought home somebody black as a prospective spouse. God forbid the white gene pool should be thus polluted! Being a "Member of the Tribe" as they say, it was all I could do not to come back with something along the lines of, "Oh, really? And tell me, how do you feel about JEWS?"

I had a quiet supper by myself up in the buffet the next night-- wasn't quite ready to break bread with that character again just yet.
Well you know alot of southerners felt that way of my parent's and grandparent's generation. My first cousin's daoghter had a racially mixed baby last year and I am sure my aunt and grandmother are turning in their graves. But you know, my cousin loves that grandbaby just as much as his other grandbaby that his other daughter had. Times have changed and people need to accept that.

Now my daughter is still single and childless . I just hope she will find someone who will make her happy and treat her well. If her future mate does that; I could care less about what race or nationiality he is or that of my future grandchildren.
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