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-   Travel Gripes! (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/travel-gripes/)
-   -   Here's a gripe for ya! (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/travel-gripes/351904-heres-gripe-ya.html)

Repsol Rod June 3rd, 2008 10:23 AM

Here's a gripe for ya!
 
Having scrolled through dozens of threads, on this forum and others, I've found there are several topics that are real hot buttons. Discussions can be quite spirited spawning a broad range of opinion. The anonymity of this medium gives the user a certain level of assertiveness which allows for a great exchange of ideas but it's also all too easy to abuse.
My gripe is those who state their preferences and then dismiss all others as absurd.
Fact is fact but opinion and preference are absolutely inexact. It is understandable that one's view may be argued very passionately - I'm a proponent of that - but not at the expense of someone else.
Is it too much to ask to exercise a little common courtesy when addressing your fellow cruise mate?? Hold onto what you believe but please don't beat someone else down just because they don't share your opinion. Diversity is the spice of life. Let's celebrate the fact that we're not all cookie-cutter drones.

Repsol

kd June 3rd, 2008 01:55 PM

Well said! I sometimes find myself caught up in the fray, when all I need to do is express my opinion on the subject. However, your words may be accepted as true, but in reality I suspect the abuse will continue. There have been times I have left this board for months due to the scrapping and personal insults.

DayvidB June 3rd, 2008 03:20 PM

Repsol, are you talking "gripes" in particular here or is this gripes and other CM boards that make you feel this way?

Just asking :D

You know what, I hear what you are saying,,but, if you cant take the heat or the responses you may get to what you say or feel,,,,,dont post on web boards.

As for "My gripe is those who state their preferences and then dismiss all others as absurd".

Sorry bud that’s web boards, open and anonymous chat that the person will never have to say face to face to the other person,,,real easy

It’s their call to say it and yours to IGNORE it, responds to the point if you like, and not because some person is trying to pick a fight over a computer connection.

Always remember,,,IT’S NOT REAL, this world

katlady June 3rd, 2008 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DayvidB
Repsol, are you talking "gripes" in particular here or is this gripes and other CM boards that make you feel this way?

Just asking :D

You know what, I hear what you are saying,,but, if you cant take the heat or the responses you may get to what you say or feel,,,,,dont post on web boards.

As for "My gripe is those who state their preferences and then dismiss all others as absurd".

Sorry bud that’s web boards, open and anonymous chat that the person will never have to say face to face to the other person,,,real easy

It’s their call to say it and yours to IGNORE it, responds to the point if you like, and not because some person is trying to pick a fight over a computer connection.

Always remember,,,IT’S NOT REAL, this world

Davyid you are completely wrong and that is absurd. :wink:

Repsol Rod June 3rd, 2008 04:59 PM

DB, I'm referring to this entire web-based form of communication.
I agree there will be knuckleheads that hide behind their keyboards - I'm just asking why does it have to come to that? I've posted many times on subjects that I knew would draw very different views - and was prepared to accept the responses I suspected I would get. But when someone posts to intentionally cause discord - well, I have a problem with that. Here's a for instance:

Contributor A I'm thinking about taking my green widget with me on my upcoming cruise. What do you all think about green widgets?

Contributor B Hey, I have a green widget too. I say go for it. :)

Contributor C Widgets don't go over very well on a cruise. You should probably leave it at home.

Contributor D I hate widgets. :evil: What doofus would even consider owning one of those?! Anyone with a green widget is an idiot! Completely out of their mind!! [/i]


Contributor A Hey guy, take it easy. I happen to be very fond of my widget. I'm not planning to go lambasting everybody with it. I see others with widgets and would just like to be able to enjoy mine on my vacation.

Contributor D All you people with those widgets make me sick. Every time I see one of you on my vacation it just ruins the whole thing for me. :evil: If you're going to bring your stupid widget with you, you should choose another line to sail on!


And so on and so on...

Contriubutor D's tone simply isn't necessary. It's evident the subject of widgets has struck a nerve but opposition can be presented in a courteous manner. "D" can make his/her point without calling all widget owners idiots and talking down to them.
Agreed, this virtual chat medium isn't the "real world" but the exchanges that take place here come from real people.
Just because I can pummel someone with a few keystrokes shouldn't be an invitation to do so.

Rep

reverendjeff June 4th, 2008 10:21 AM

I think I saw where contributor D was banned from this site. :D
Your point is valid, although there really is no answer to this problem. There will always be those in the virtual world who swoop down and blast someone and then disappear.
It happens more often on other sites than this one. Just like in the real world, there are jerks and then there are those who allow us our opinion, even if they do not agree.

jackieb June 4th, 2008 02:26 PM

Hey whats a widget?

DayvidB June 4th, 2008 03:24 PM

Rep, you made me laugh, good scenario :D

But lets face it, we do not live in a REAL world of everyone is nice to each other and present things in a way that are socially acceptable always to others, so why should web boards be different, if anything it compounds the lack of social skills out there.

Key here is, just as you would ignore such comment or behaviour in real life, do the same on boards, they had their say, no need to defend yours, other "social" aware people will understand that.. My advice is IGNORE THE NUMPTIES, you can’t discuss with them and you will never win. SO don’t even try

reverendjeff June 4th, 2008 03:45 PM

Reminds me of the old but true saying; " Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."
Social skills are not what they used to be, but that does not excuse the rest of us from trying to keep them.

Mean Dean June 4th, 2008 06:20 PM

David,

I always thought I lived in the real world..........!

Dean

Mike M June 4th, 2008 08:35 PM

I've noticed in life that there are many people who see the world in black and white with nothing in between. It carries over to their opinions. It's either their way or the highway.

I personally find that there are a variety of differences, preferences and ideas that are neither right nor wrong but merely an opinion.

Take care,
Mike

Aidan June 5th, 2008 12:15 AM

Re: Here's a gripe for ya!
 
I appreciate this post, Repsol.

A common instance of this behavior is a veiled attack which doesn't trigger a moderator response. For example, a poster might ask if cocktails are available in the dining room or if a particular brand of liquor is carried on the ship, and inavariably a number of people will respond with inanity like:
"Can't you go a week without a cocktail at dinner?"
or
"Why do you need that brand? Is alcohol that important to you?"

My grandfather used to say, "If you want to live my life, then you can pay my mortgage". :)

Cheers, Aidan

Paul B June 5th, 2008 12:40 AM

Actually, I see very little of the type of activity you refer to on the Cruisemates site, even in this Gripes section. I do feel that most of the people who post here are much less prone to make nasty comments than on other internet cruise sites, particularly CC.

TravelBugs June 5th, 2008 01:00 AM

I try to refrain from being a Contributor D type poster or giving them fuel for their fire. :)

Repsol Rod June 5th, 2008 10:51 AM

Thanks for all your comments. Btw, this wasn't an attack on Cruise Mates. This kind of activity is present net-wide.
Etiquette is a dying art :( - it really is a shame to see something, that takes such little effort to practice, held in such disregard.

Rep

DayvidB June 5th, 2008 02:31 PM

"Etiquette is a dying art " well it is in the world of the internet, cheap, easy and anonymous as I said.

Bet those that do react in this way would never think of doing it ‘face to face’ with the person that they are responding too,,,,,,,,mmm so much bravery in having a keyboard. :-?

God knows how many wimps or vocally socially inadequate people out there think they have now found and have an opinion in life, one that has no personal repercussions for them. God bless the internet and web boards for their voice :shock:

You can believe it in your head, you can then write it, but if you would not say it face to face to the other person,,,your kidding yourself, 8). So who’s fooling who?

Having an opinion on a subject is so different from just posting to have just a dig,,thats what they forget

Queenbgs December 2nd, 2008 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Repsol Rod
DB, I'm referring to this entire web-based form of communication.
I agree there will be knuckleheads that hide behind their keyboards - I'm just asking why does it have to come to that? I've posted many times on subjects that I knew would draw very different views - and was prepared to accept the responses I suspected I would get. But when someone posts to intentionally cause discord - well, I have a problem with that. Here's a for instance:

Contributor A I'm thinking about taking my green widget with me on my upcoming cruise. What do you all think about green widgets?

Contributor B Hey, I have a green widget too. I say go for it. :)

Contributor C Widgets don't go over very well on a cruise. You should probably leave it at home.

Contributor D I hate widgets. :evil: What doofus would even consider owning one of those?! Anyone with a green widget is an idiot! Completely out of their mind!! [/i]


Contributor A Hey guy, take it easy. I happen to be very fond of my widget. I'm not planning to go lambasting everybody with it. I see others with widgets and would just like to be able to enjoy mine on my vacation.

Contributor D All you people with those widgets make me sick. Every time I see one of you on my vacation it just ruins the whole thing for me. :evil: If you're going to bring your stupid widget with you, you should choose another line to sail on!


And so on and so on...

Contriubutor D's tone simply isn't necessary. It's evident the subject of widgets has struck a nerve but opposition can be presented in a courteous manner. "D" can make his/her point without calling all widget owners idiots and talking down to them.
Agreed, this virtual chat medium isn't the "real world" but the exchanges that take place here come from real people.
Just because I can pummel someone with a few keystrokes shouldn't be an invitation to do so.

Rep

Can I agree more wholeheartedly? I think not! Unfortunately, I've learned in my old age that not all people think alike and common sense isn't really so common! It's not worth the stress high blood pressure to take the things these neanderthals say to heart! So I cruise to relax! Kudos to you. Great example.

DayvidB December 3rd, 2008 03:14 PM

Personally, I think web boards are the devils work, and no decent person should take part in them.

Oh well there's me dammed to hell 8)

In a perfect scenario, we could have a web board that had lush green grass, everyone was nice and danced round the whatever, always happy and always agreed with what each other said :shock:

In life that’s not true. Web boards are a good place to vent and discuss, and you can be ANONOYMOUS behind an avator, some take advantage of that.

Personally, I have met some really nice people that I would not want to meet in real life 8) 8) 8) But I appreciate that’s mutual.

But then again, I have "talked" to some folks, that I know in my heart I could have a good time with,,,,as they get me, I get them.

It nay not always be pretty, and we may not always agree, but its conversation, its talk, its thinking about the other persons perspective

matey December 3rd, 2008 03:40 PM

You made me laugh!

How about:I was brought up not to take widgets on cruises.

People who use widgets have no class.

Widget users are the me,me,me type.

Widget users think, it's my vacation, I paid for it and I will do
whatever suits me.

I am sure you can add your favourites!

Paul B December 3rd, 2008 09:39 PM

David, if we tried to do a Morris dance on your green grass, someone would sneak in and leave something for us to step on! Of, course, we might also trip over a misplaced widget.

I have no idea what I just said, but I paid for this space, and I'll say what I want. Agreement or not, I like gripes.

Aidan December 3rd, 2008 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Repsol Rod
I'm just asking why does it have to come to that?

Repsol Rod, I agree wholeheartledly. I was recently severely flamed on another thread in this forum, and told,amongst the milder, that I was belligerient. My jaw dropped and I reread my post, which was literally, and nothing more:

"What is your opinon on ..."

It's hard for me to imagine in my regular life people so thin-skinned that they would consider that question an attack, but I'm coming to realize that the internet is a bizzaro world.

People really do act and react very differently here.

Cheers, Aidan

katlady December 4th, 2008 12:29 AM

Aidan which thread was that on?

Aidan December 4th, 2008 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katlady
Aidan which thread was that on?

Hi Katlady,

It was the one ToddDH started about changes in the "chat" forum. My question about opinion was regarding a subsequent poster and the shout "SMALLER GOVERNMENT". The thread was deleted by the mods last week.

Cheers, Adian

katlady December 4th, 2008 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aidan
Quote:

Originally Posted by katlady
Aidan which thread was that on?

Hi Katlady,

It was the one ToddDH started about changes in the "chat" forum. My question about opinion was regarding a subsequent poster and the shout "SMALLER GOVERNMENT". The thread was deleted by the mods last week.

Cheers, Adian

I missed the thread. Oh well, sometimes we disagree I just don't take it to heart. :D Sometimes threads go around in a circle and it makes me dizzy, so I leave the discussion. I did that with you once on the kids everywhere thread. I wasn't mad; just done. I wasn't going to change you mind and you weren't going to change my mind so what's the point? A lot of political disscussions are this way, that is why I try not to have them.

Aidan December 4th, 2008 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katlady
I missed the thread. Oh well, sometimes we disagree I just don't take it to heart. :D Sometimes threads go around in a circle and it makes me dizzy, so I leave the discussion. I did that with you once on the kids everywhere thread. I wasn't mad; just done. I wasn't going to change you mind and you weren't going to change my mind so what's the point? A lot of political disscussions are this way, that is why I try not to have them.

You are a very wise woman! :)

Cheers, Aidan

msblackjack December 5th, 2008 08:07 AM

Repsol Rod: very good example - what a way to get your point across and with a little humor at that?

I can remember a time, that I only viewed posts on a similar cruising website, to look for answers to my questions but would not post my own question because of the "Contributor D" type responses.
Then I found this site, sure there have been times that a Cont D comment(s) have been made - some about my posts or comments, but it seems that the general CM's know when enough is enough. Sure I have had my opinion changed after some well-thought & informative comments, but most of the time, I just say "to each their own" and move on.

The worst example are the posters that leave comments after newspaper articles. They provide there opinion as fact, based on a electronic news article (that most likely has not been researched for all the facts or the article was posted so soon after the event that not all the facts are known) and will fight to the extreme that they are right. Often times, the facts have changed but they will stand by their initial opinion.


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