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  #61 (permalink)  
Old October 29th, 2008, 05:48 PM
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Sorry not sure what or where this conversation is going , but personally, I feel that no one person, or couple or group should be allowed to lead, direct others on that table to a situation that one or more of the others feels uncomfortable.

And they usually get away with it because…… they rely on others being "polite" and when it is totally apparent to everyone that they themselves have not been, polite.

Sorry but just say, this is not acceptable to the rest of us on the table and you are making us feel uncomfortable, it’s that simple. Go to the desk and buy some balls, forget PC

If you then buy said balls and use them, then they will usually move, and not the other 8 on a table for 10 to just get away from them. Some idiot may have just split a good table here.

Don’t be so nice or PC with people presenting themselves so badly
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Old October 30th, 2008, 05:08 AM
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I wouldn't say "you disgust me".
I WOULD say "this topic is disgusting, let's change it".
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Old October 30th, 2008, 01:53 PM
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Well said, Dan. However, I would be inclined to say "I have a weak stomach and this topic is about to make barf all over the table".

Marty
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Old October 30th, 2008, 09:35 PM
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Marty, you gave them a choice!!!
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Old October 31st, 2008, 05:42 PM
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Okay you two, whatever,,eh

Me, I'm just saying that no person or persons in any walk of life including cruising should be given the position of "hacking off" their fellow diners so much that 8 out of 10 on that table want to move,,,whatever the reason!

And some do that :evil:. minority leading the table, we have all seen it

But as people the 8 as individuals now want a move, that’s not right....As without this person or couple that 8 out the group could have been good company for each other in this cruise experience.

So as a unit, and if they had the balls, they should demand that the people or person causing conflict are removed from the table. simple.

But no,,as its too confrontational or embarrassing, and its better to moan behind their backs to the Maitre'D or go to the buffet or gripe here.

When will people stop trying to be so PC towards others that have broken their own rules or expectations in life regarding living and dealing with others?

Don’t be a victim, sort it out at the time, and if you only say one thing in "I have a weak stomach and this topic is about to make barf all over the table". FINE, you stood up, you showed balls

Then also say,,,,,and if you carry on in this way, then I cannot dine with you for the rest of this cruise,,,goodbye.

Dont place the onus on others especially staff, just stand up for yourself.

React....and see how they react ,,"the person" when told I will not put up with this.

Balls, thats all it takes
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Old October 31st, 2008, 07:42 PM
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I dunno if I'm one of the "two" but you echo my sentiments exactly.
I have no problem with being very straight forward about adressing an obviously distasteful subject.

And if that doesn't work, I'll say...
"That's nothing. This morning, I pinched a loaf so large it had a pulse!!!!"
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Old November 8th, 2008, 10:04 PM
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Thats disgusting! I was born and raised in Alabama and i assure you not all of us are that way. there are those bad apples everywhere. but that is horrible that they acted that way during dinner. I, personaly wouldint have the stomach to take that during dinner witch is one of my favorite aspects of cruising. But i have had run ins with bad table mates before and as uncomfortable as it is there is allways room for change and im sorry that you ever met those folks!


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Old November 17th, 2008, 03:14 PM
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Default Re: non-palatable conversation at the dining table

Quote:
Originally Posted by seamonkey
On our last cruise I was seated at a table for 10 and most of the folks were wonderful except for an older couple from Alabama. From day one they both monopolized the conversation by sharing every gruesome detail about their medical problems and procedures. We also heard about their battles with various addiction problems, he was an alcoholic and she was a vicodin addict and both were drinking heavily at the table, chatting on and on about their seemingly endless surgeries. They spared no detail no matter how repulsive. We heard about everything from puss filled carbuncles in private places to strange ailments caused by parasites picked up on their travels to third world countries. No one could ever get a word in no matter how many times we tried to change the subject they would find a way to insert themselves and their health/addiction problems into the conversation.
They seemed to delight in shocking people with these horrible stories and GOD HELP ANYONE who mentioned their own medical malady! They became hostile and made statements like "you have no idea what suffering is" or "you have no right to talk until you have had your gallbladder removed in the jungle of Borneo without anesthesia!"
The wife even had a color photo of a polyp that was removed from her colon that she passed around during the main course. She said she kept it to remind her to eat right. 2 nights were spent discussing the husbands battle with MERSA which he contracted during one of his countless medical procedures. Things came to a head during formal night when the wife insisted on checking her husbands colostomy bag at the table to make sure it was not over-flowing. One of the waiters accosted them on the way out and mentioned that some folks were put off by colostomy bags and in the future they could check things in private. Well the wife came unglued and accused the staff of being prejudiced against the disabled and or the elderly.

After that night 2 couples did not rejoin the table. I guess this is understandable but my friend and I along with another couple were left alone with these people and their horrible stories.

On the second to the last night dining staff finally found a place for us at an earlier seating so we had a good last few days.

In the future how would one deal with a situation like this. I now realize we should have requested a different table from day one but we had no idea how bad it was going to be.

idk how u lasted that long! once i first heard any nasty details i woulda spoke up! say something like "i hate to inturrupt your very interesting story but if uu didnt notice, we r at a dinner table and i know i dont just speak for myself when i say "dont nobody wanna hear that !"

u said something about it here on the board but it really is pointless now isnt it? i hope u dont bite ur tongue in every situation like this. (if u have had more or for the future)
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Old January 2nd, 2009, 10:54 PM
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I got tested on my cruise last month. One couple at our table hit us with fun, graphic conversation the first night. Another couple was looking a little green around the gills. We put a stop to it and we were all good buddies by the end of the cruise. And no more Pepto talk during dinner after that.
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Old January 3rd, 2009, 12:22 PM
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I would not ask to be moved I would get up and leave. No one should put up with that. Mike
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Old January 8th, 2009, 04:02 PM
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Default Table for two? yes.no.. MAYBE?

I am not good at making small talk...period.. I try and by no means am I rude. But what really irks me is I always request a small table...ALWAYS. And I have YET to get one! :evil: And EVERY time I go to the dining room I ALWAYS see a bunch of tables for two available!!!! I dont understand that...ya think if I asked someone I could get moved??? Oh well for every bad table setting there's usually a few that make up for it...good thread!
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Old January 9th, 2009, 03:15 PM
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Sorry, but I have never seen a "bunch" of tables for two either in the dining room or even at the buffet restaurant. They are few and far between in my experience, but hey ho its cruise time, and time to get out your shell and socialise with others Its not a lot to ask, you only have to dine with them, not spend the rest of your life with them
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Old January 9th, 2009, 03:57 PM
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Default Re: non-palatable conversation at the dining table

Quote:
Originally Posted by 17andacruiseaddict
idk how u lasted that long! once i first heard any nasty details i woulda spoke up! say something like "i hate to inturrupt your very interesting story but if uu didnt notice, we r at a dinner table and i know i dont just speak for myself when i say "dont nobody wanna hear that !"

u said something about it here on the board but it really is pointless now isnt it? i hope u dont bite ur tongue in every situation like this. (if u have had more or for the future)
Huh?
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Old January 10th, 2009, 12:58 PM
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Default Re: non-palatable conversation at the dining table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave
Quote:
Originally Posted by 17andacruiseaddict
idk how u lasted that long! once i first heard any nasty details i woulda spoke up! say something like "i hate to inturrupt your very interesting story but if uu didnt notice, we r at a dinner table and i know i dont just speak for myself when i say "dont nobody wanna hear that !"

u said something about it here on the board but it really is pointless now isnt it? i hope u dont bite ur tongue in every situation like this. (if u have had more or for the future)
Huh?
I can translate for the old guy.

I do not know how you lasted that long! Once I first hear any nasty details I would have spoke up! I would have said something like; "pardon me, I hate to interrupt your very interesting story however, if you did not notice. We are at a dinner table. I know I do not just speak for myself when I say, ' Nobody wants to hear about this, I believe a change in topic is in order.'"
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Old January 10th, 2009, 01:09 PM
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Thank you Katlady. Now I get it!
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  #76 (permalink)  
Old January 11th, 2009, 04:02 PM
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I will be going on my first cruise in less than a month and I have read this post with interest and laughter. First off, I'm rather shy and I am not the most socially adept person in a social setting! My husband on the other hand, is the life of the party (opposites do attract!).

I would certainly find this topic disgusting and if my husband wouldn't have already told them first, I would certainly have spoken up and asked for a topic change. Why do we have to sneak around and ask to be moved. Be open and up front with people. Sometimes people don't realize a topic may not be appealing to the whole group of people. You don't have to be rude about it, but if they don't get the hint then go somewhere else. It's your cruise too, do what you want to do and don't let anybody bother you or ruin your cruise.

Just my 2 cents!

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Old January 11th, 2009, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave
Thank you Katlady. Now I get it!
Anything to help out.
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Old January 11th, 2009, 10:05 PM
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I would have just said "excuse me please,this is not an appropiate topic for a dinner conversation".
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Old January 11th, 2009, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DayvidB
"For future, when you board the ship, go directly to the dining room, get your table number and request the ages of persons seated at your table"

Request the ages of your fellow cruisers that may or not have the 'GLORY' of dining with you....You have a CHEEK in deciding who could be potentially be seated at your personal table,,,get a life.

Why not request that the ship give you a private room that you can conduct interviews in regarding your acceptability of fellow dining partners?

Never heard so much nonsense in my life, asking ages of those on your table.

Where do you go from there?

Oh and the main point is, take those presented before and if they dont work for you, ask to move. But not questioning the Maitre'D in advance when you get there regarding who you might find acceptable, that would never work,,,
I see nothing wrong with ascertaining the ages of other diners. I do not have children of my own and therefoream not accustomed to beingwith them at mealtimes and I have noticed a definite lack of parental guidance in teaching the youth of today proper manners.I like to enjoy a quiet meal and as I am paying for my vacation and not someone else,that it is not to much to be allowed not to be seated with someone I know I would not be with.I would guess you are one of these parents who doesn't teach your children howto behave in this type of setting,nor do you teach them to be respectful of the fact that other people are on vacation also not just you and your family.
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Old April 22nd, 2009, 10:35 AM
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On my honeymoon my hubby and I sat with three older couples who were very interesting and entertaining. That was, until we told them we were from New York. One of the wives said, "my nephew was a firefighter who was killed in 9/11."

Oh boy. So from then the conversation turned her telling us how they got the news, and how they had coped with it. My husband started to squirm. I didn't even wanna touch my food.

Well, one of the husbands changed the subject and started talking about how he used to love going to METS games in the 50's...Ok, great! I loved hearing his stories about paying .75 for the tickets and getting to catch the ball, etc. Then I made the mistake of asking:

"So when was the last time you caught a METS game?" And the wife goes
"When we were in New York for the funeral."

Oh, my goodness. It was so awkward at the time, but now it's a running joke between me and my (now ex) husband.
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Old April 22nd, 2009, 04:29 PM
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Personally I could say so much on what you posted, but for the sake of not getting barred I will quote you back as a starter,,and react in a way acceptable to this board

"One of the wives said, "my nephew was a firefighter who was killed in 9/11." Oh boy. So from then the conversation turned her telling us how they got the news, and how they had coped with it. My husband started to squirm. I didn't even wanna touch my food"

Question. This is and waswas a big deal in the USA and the rest of the world, people lost their lives. So do you see yourself as shallow? What discussions in life would not make you or your husband squirm?

Is this what I may be presnted with you as fellow diners, folks that sqirm when it comes to talking about 9/11 and a fellow passengers relative having lost their life and part of it. A mempry that should be etched on every living New Yorkers memory.

Your are not real, you are made up. No American would think that way when dealing with another giving their life to help others.

You actually said one of the wives said, "my nephew was a firefighter who was killed in 9/11."

and reacted with "Oh boy."
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Old April 22nd, 2009, 05:52 PM
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Great post, David. You really have mellowed in your old age.
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Old April 23rd, 2009, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DayvidB
Personally I could say so much on what you posted, but for the sake of not getting barred I will quote you back as a starter,,and react in a way acceptable to this board

"One of the wives said, "my nephew was a firefighter who was killed in 9/11." Oh boy. So from then the conversation turned her telling us how they got the news, and how they had coped with it. My husband started to squirm. I didn't even wanna touch my food"

Question. This is and waswas a big deal in the USA and the rest of the world, people lost their lives. So do you see yourself as shallow? What discussions in life would not make you or your husband squirm?

Is this what I may be presnted with you as fellow diners, folks that sqirm when it comes to talking about 9/11 and a fellow passengers relative having lost their life and part of it. A mempry that should be etched on every living New Yorkers memory.

Your are not real, you are made up. No American would think that way when dealing with another giving their life to help others.

You actually said one of the wives said, "my nephew was a firefighter who was killed in 9/11."

and reacted with "Oh boy."


That's funny that you say that I'm not real. Apparently my mortgage company thinks so!

I'm a New Yorker. I witnessed 9/11 firsthand---as in seeing the smoke, flames, running, the crying in the street, the pain, losing neighbors and friends, etc. So yeah, I think I know a little about the pain of 9/11....

When she mentioned her nephew's death, I did not audibly say "oh boy"---I thought it to myself. And as much as it's etched into our country's lexicon, funerals, death and terror attacks are not necessarily dinner conversation.

9/11 happened in 2001. We took this cruise in 2006. Not saying that there is a time limit on grief, but there are more appropriate times and forums for these kinds of conversations. I did not bring up how sad I was when my grandmother died, just months before. Nor did my husband start a conversation on the pain of losing both parents and growing up in foster care and being sexually abused. It's not an appropriate topic of conversation at the midnight buffet on a cruise ship. I stand by that.

As a New Yorker, we get bombarded with 9/11 questions and anecdotes as soon as we mention we're from NY. It's a painful thing to dredge up. We still feel it. I still get teary when I pass the hole in the ground that used to be the twin towers.

But it's not appropriate for me to start grief therapy at the dinner table. And it wasn't appropriate for them either.
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Old April 24th, 2009, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Well said, Dan. However, I would be inclined to say "I have a weak stomach and this topic is about to make barf all over the table".

Marty
Good one Marty! I will have to "borrow" that one from you.
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Old April 24th, 2009, 08:26 AM
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Default Re: non-palatable conversation at the dining table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave
Quote:
Originally Posted by 17andacruiseaddict
idk how u lasted that long! once i first heard any nasty details i woulda spoke up! say something like "i hate to inturrupt your very interesting story but if uu didnt notice, we r at a dinner table and i know i dont just speak for myself when i say "dont nobody wanna hear that !"

u said something about it here on the board but it really is pointless now isnt it? i hope u dont bite ur tongue in every situation like this. (if u have had more or for the future)
Huh?
The young lady is posting as if she is text messaging. ! Dave you are showing your age. I thought you said you hang around with the "young" gals. I guess they never text you. ! My 24 year old daughter has taught me much I guess!
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Old April 24th, 2009, 04:36 PM
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Alleycat...mmmm

We will never see eye to eye. simple, but thanks for the post, others can make up their minds on the right and wrong of the tone. I've had my say
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Old July 22nd, 2009, 06:08 PM
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OK, so sorry to rehash this experience but I know first hand how it is. I am in the "medical" profession and I get asked questions about gallbladders and hangnails all the time. I AM ON VACATION AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. Is that harsh? Sorry, but I work hard and need to go on cruises to relax and "get away" not to give free advice, only to have you come back and say I diagnosed you wrong. No I didn't, you just didn't give me all the facts.

Tell your fellow diners that right now, at this dining room table, it is inappropriate to speak of their woes!
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