non-palatable conversation at the dining table

[seamonkey]

On our last cruise I was seated at a table for 10 and most of the folks were wonderful except for an older couple from Alabama. From day one they both monopolized the conversation by sharing every gruesome detail about their medical problems and procedures. We also heard about their battles with various addiction problems, he was an alcoholic and she was a vicodin addict and both were drinking heavily at the table, chatting on and on about their seemingly endless surgeries. They spared no detail no matter how repulsive. We heard about everything from puss filled carbuncles in private places to strange ailments caused by parasites picked up on their travels to third world countries. No one could ever get a word in no matter how many times we tried to change the subject they would find a way to insert themselves and their health/addiction problems into the conversation.
They seemed to delight in shocking people with these horrible stories and GOD HELP ANYONE who mentioned their own medical malady! They became hostile and made statements like "you have no idea what suffering is" or "you have no right to talk until you have had your gallbladder removed in the jungle of Borneo without anesthesia!"
The wife even had a color photo of a polyp that was removed from her colon that she passed around during the main course. She said she kept it to remind her to eat right. 2 nights were spent discussing the husbands battle with MERSA which he contracted during one of his countless medical procedures. Things came to a head during formal night when the wife insisted on checking her husbands colostomy bag at the table to make sure it was not over-flowing. One of the waiters accosted them on the way out and mentioned that some folks were put off by colostomy bags and in the future they could check things in private. Well the wife came unglued and accused the staff of being prejudiced against the disabled and or the elderly.

After that night 2 couples did not rejoin the table. I guess this is understandable but my friend and I along with another couple were left alone with these people and their horrible stories.

On the second to the last night dining staff finally found a place for us at an earlier seating so we had a good last few days.

In the future how would one deal with a situation like this. I now realize we should have requested a different table from day one but we had no idea how bad it was going to be.

[Snoozeman]

How terrible. So sorry. I would have been gone 1st night. You did well to last longer. You certainly have a cruise gripe!

[Mean Dean]

Ask the Matre 'D to re-seat you immediately!!

[katlady]

Now you know for the future that is a total bummer.

[Mike M]

Being someone who wore "a bag" for over a year I would have immediately told them to knock it off if they made any attempt to check it at the table. If they didn't then I would request a new table.

While there is absolutely is nothing wrong with a colostomy bag, discussing it or examining it in detail is about the same as someone with a normal system discussing and examining their excretion areas.

Take care,
Mike

[Marc]

Another case for open seating where you can select who dine with, where you dine, and when you dine.

[thecruisequeen]

The wife even had a color photo of a polyp that was removed from her colon that she passed around during the main course.

OMG now that is just crazy!!!! Gross Gross Gross :evil:

Sorry to hear about your horrible dinner mates. Yea like the others said after the first day get moved to another table right away.

[Travellingranny]

Not sure if I would have waited until the next day. There are some things that just are not to be done at the dinner table....or in public for that matter!!!!!!

Granny

[DayvidB]

Hey Mike

"While there is absolutely is nothing wrong with a colostomy bag, discussing it or examining it in detail is about the same as someone with a normal system discussing and examining their excretion areas".

So funny, and yet again respect for your honesty

Its life and the mix that the cruise ship presents at your table, not happy ask to move,,simple. Thats number one rule

But in some ways good on you for hanging in there 8) That was a good decent side in you. Me, I would have been out of there after night one for all my tolerance.

Key words, its your vacation as well, so no need to feel yourself under strain placed by others for all you try to do "the right thing"...move.

Never experienced that scenario, think its a one off or very unusual...its usually bratty children with no parental control from those I look square in the eye at the table....that gets me going......or moving and there are much more of them out there, than bags. Little Sh...s

[Joe323]

As someone with Crohns Disease (but not a bag thank God) I would never discuss my intestinal problems with strangers (or at the dinner table period) I'm surprised you lasted as long as did too.

[seamonkey]

We requested a different table after four nights but the ship was full and the dining staff did not realize how horrible the situation was until the colostomy bag show and tell.

[DayvidB]

"We requested a different table after four nights but the ship was full and the dining staff did not realize how horrible the situation was until the colostomy bag show and tell."

Sorry this don’t add up

So you waited "four nights" with all this hell going on around you,,,mmm. It could not have been that bad until that night or you would have done buffet or moved?

It took the usually attentive waiters until the 4th or 5th night to see at their table what was happening regarding this topic, I really don’t think so

There is no doubt some truth in this story, but not sure it’s being presented in an honest way

If you had said we requested a new table for four nights in a row, I would have understood, but after 4 nights?

[FirstCoastCruiser]

Ugh! Some people just have no class. I think the rest of the table should have asked them to leave.... I would have.

[katlady]

Originally Posted by DayvidB

"We requested a different table after four nights but the ship was full and the dining staff did not realize how horrible the situation was until the colostomy bag show and tell."

Sorry this don’t add up

So you waited "four nights" with all this hell going on around you,,,mmm. It could not have been that bad until that night or you would have done buffet or moved?

It took the usually attentive waiters until the 4th or 5th night to see at their table what was happening regarding this topic, I really don’t think so

There is no doubt some truth in this story, but not sure it’s being presented in an honest way

If you had said we requested a new table for four nights in a row, I would have understood, but after 4 nights?

The OP started by saying there are inappropriate conversation and things came to a head with the colostomy bag check. It's my impression that the first few nights the Alabama couple described gross things and showed pictures. If the OP had never requested a change of table they may have been hoping things would improve. Once the picture was shown I'm sure the OP was considering how to get out of this table. These things are more subtle and may not have been offensive enough for the waiters to want to risk upsetting the Alabama couple. Once the colostomy bag was on in public the waiters had to act.

I don't think the OP was spinning the truth. This type of thing happened to me. I was at a table with a lady who loved inappropriate conversation. I should have requested a change in table but I didn't because it was a 4 person table if we left it would have been apparent why. If I had the chance to do it again I would have requested late dinner time (I had early) and explained to my ex-tablemates that I was booked at the wrong time that is why I requested a change. Yes, I would lying like a rug. There is no need to hurt someone's feelings if a lie will work. Plus changing the dinner seating from early to late limits the chances of running into this lady around the ship.

[seamonkey]

Although the waiters were wonderful in terms of service it was not their responsibility to police the tables conversation. Yes in retrospect we should have left after the first few night but our other tablemates were wonderful and interesting people and we did not want to leave them in the lurch or appear rude.

[DayvidB]

"I should have requested a change in table but I didn't because it was a 4 person table if we left it would have been apparent why."

Sorry, but that don’t work for me, its a cruise, my relaxation and my hard worked for vacation and I don’t have to live with or work with the people that the MAITRE'D decides I should be dining with.

So for a valid reason, ie verbal or action / reaction I would be out of there, even if it meant buffet or the alternative 20 bucks p/p experience.

I would never be rude to the person, but would quietly tell the MAITRE'D,,,That I'm out of here and why.

His and his waiters tips lost, (as I don’t do auto), and I will then eat in a scenario that is relaxing to me.

I cannot image anything worse than arriving for dinner, with your gut already in a knot because of your tablemates.

No need for it

[katlady]

Originally Posted by DayvidB

"I should have requested a change in table but I didn't because it was a 4 person table if we left it would have been apparent why."

Sorry, but that don’t work for me, its a cruise, my relaxation and my hard worked for vacation and I don’t have to live with or work with the people that the MAITRE'D decides I should be dining with.

So for a valid reason, ie verbal or action / reaction I would be out of there, even if it meant buffet or the alternative 20 bucks p/p experience.

I would never be rude to the person, but would quietly tell the MAITRE'D,,,That I'm out of here and why.

His and his waiters tips lost, (as I don’t do auto), and I will then eat in a scenario that is relaxing to me.

I cannot image anything worse than arriving for dinner, with your gut already in a knot because of your tablemates.

No need for it

You are right I should have requested another table and this was on Celebrity so there are no autos. Live and learn next time I'm out of there.

[DayvidB]

Cheers bud, but to explain I posted that opinion simply because of my personal experience and seeing the reactions of other passengers to others that they did not know how to deal with. These "aliens" at my table

The person causing the problem is in their "own little world" on this ship and in the dining room. Problem is the rest of us try to be nice to them or try in some weird way to accept them, and in the back of your head knowing this will never happen.

Please don’t do this, ships please just place them on a table for two, and not in one that takes ten.

If not you end up with eight people listening and being attentive and having indigestion because they are trying to be a nice person. Tell your Maitre'D,,,sorry this don’t work for me and why.

I should have no need to feel I have to miss dining because of some 'fellow passengers antics' that I can no longer cope with or the lines inability to deal with socally inadequate folks quickly enough.

[Dannyboy]

I am glad you posted your experiance, helpful to others.

You would think that people would be on there best behavior and disply all the manners approperate for a eligent evening in a fine restaraunt.

I myself beleave that when you are (set) in a position of meeting Strangers from different walks of life, observation and first impression should have dictated your next move, when you and your husband left the dinner table on that first night, You should have made arrangements for a new table and avoided that couple the rest of the cruise.

For future, when you board the ship, go directly to the dining room, get your table number and request the ages of persons seated at your table.

I have seen situations with routy teenagers and crying babies at tables with couples with no common interest or talerance for disruptive behavior.

Remember, it's your vacation.

Danny

[DayvidB]

"For future, when you board the ship, go directly to the dining room, get your table number and request the ages of persons seated at your table"

Request the ages of your fellow cruisers that may or not have the 'GLORY' of dining with you....You have a CHEEK in deciding who could be potentially be seated at your personal table,,,get a life.

Why not request that the ship give you a private room that you can conduct interviews in regarding your acceptability of fellow dining partners?

Never heard so much nonsense in my life, asking ages of those on your table.

Where do you go from there?

Oh and the main point is, take those presented before and if they dont work for you, ask to move. But not questioning the Maitre'D in advance when you get there regarding who you might find acceptable, that would never work,,,

[stac2006]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy

I am glad you posted your experiance, helpful to others.

You would think that people would be on there best behavior and disply all the manners approperate for a eligent evening in a fine restaraunt.

I myself beleave that when you are (set) in a position of meeting Strangers from different walks of life, observation and first impression should have dictated your next move, when you and your husband left the dinner table on that first night, You should have made arrangements for a new table and avoided that couple the rest of the cruise.

For future, when you board the ship, go directly to the dining room, get your table number and request the ages of persons seated at your table.

I have seen situations with routy teenagers and crying babies at tables with couples with no common interest or talerance for disruptive behavior.

Remember, it's your vacation.

Danny

You would probably not want to eat with my family. We are after all mere peasants in your presence.

[DayvidB]

Nice one, I pay my money and I take my chance in the dining room and 99.9% of the time the experience has been brilliant.

I would never think of going to the Maitre'D in advance and asking for a "profile" or "age range" on those I may meet that night on my table.

That sort of approach regarding my fellow yet to meet passengers is sick, or maybe weird for us normos in how we deal with others yet to be presented or met

To come up with this "asking in advance" solution is just weird, well it is to me.

[Trip]

I think many times, we are so worried that we will hurt other peoples feelings, we forget about our own feelings, and comforts.

In this case, I would have had no compunction about telling this couple, they were out of line, with this conversation, and, their visual aids!

A new table, the next night, with new dinner companions, would be a given, and a good laugh, over what could have been, if we stayed!

That NCL commercial is spot on, with the same illness scenario:)

[CROOOOZIN]

WOW!!! I would not have had the patience you did to listen to that. More power to you my friend.

[DayvidB]

So Tom, as an Admiral on this site...what would you have done in that persons place?

Newbies, I feel need to know how the more experienced cruisers, ie the Admirals would have dealt with this scenario presented on their cruise?

So how would you have dealt with it as an experienced cruiser and CM Admiral?

Or did you just jump in here and jump back out? WOW!!!

[CROOOOZIN]

Originally Posted by DayvidB

So Tom, as an Admiral on this site...what would you have done in that persons place?

Newbies, I feel need to know how the more experienced cruisers, ie the Admirals would have dealt with this scenario presented on their cruise?

So how would you have dealt with it as an experienced cruiser and CM Admiral?

Or did you just jump in here and jump back out? WOW!!!

Sarcastic, aren't we? I would have asked to be moved on the first night. That is my opinion and I am entitled to it. It does not matter if you are an experienced cruiser or a first time cruiser. If you dont like the company of the people you are with, ask to be moved. It isn't like I would ask the Maitre'D to move them because they were doing something I didn't like.
Again, my opinion, my cruise, my satisfaction.

[Hub]

Originally Posted by DayvidB

So Tom, as an Admiral on this site...what would you have done in that persons place?

Newbies, I feel need to know how the more experienced cruisers, ie the Admirals would have dealt with this scenario presented on their cruise?

So how would you have dealt with it as an experienced cruiser and CM Admiral?

Or did you just jump in here and jump back out? WOW!!!

I must start by saying that I have NO idea how many cruises CROOOOZIN has taken . . . but I must point out that the number of posts on this bulletin board is not a valid indication of cruise experience- It merely indicates that that they post a lot.

[Nothin but blue skies]

What a terrible experience. I too would have asked for another table and if I had already made a "connection" with others at the first table, I would ask if any of them wanted to join me in the move.

When the conversation started to take a turn to the gruesome details, I think I would have had to say, "excuse me, but this is too much information and not what I want to hear during my dinner, so can we please change to a more pleasant subject? Now what are you plans for tomorrow, dear?" If this did not stop them, then ask for new table immediately.

[Charming]

Hi all, new to this board, but not completely new to cruising.

I agree with Nothing But Blue Skies. For many people we feel we are being rude (rightly or wrongly) by asking to be reseated. Also as the OP menitoned - they enjoyed the company of their other tablemates. There are at times the obvious train wreck quality of some events. One of the - okay, they discussed gross polyps last night, wonder what is on the menu for tonight.

We all experience things on cruises and in our every day life that in retrospect we realize - Geez, what was I thinking??? Whether it is putting up with the boorish behavior of our tablemates to accepting rude behavior in public settings.

[Nothin but blue skies]

Welcome aboard, Charming. You will find a lot of information and diverse topics on this board. It, like cruising, is addictive.