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  #91 (permalink)  
Old May 25th, 2009, 02:12 PM
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Originally Posted by worthew8
Some would be amazed how children would react when a stranger disciplines them.
I would assume that Ships security would be invovlved.
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Old May 27th, 2009, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by worthew8
Some would be amazed how children would react when a stranger disciplines them.
Suprisingly most of the children that I have reprimanded because their parents were not parenting took it rather well. The majority of them stopped their behaviour right away and either left so I could enjoy my time in peace or just smartened up. Very few ever come back with any sort of reaction. I don't hesitate to speak up and if it means that I get a dirty look from a parent or a kid smart mouths me, I honestly don't care. I ask them politely, but sternly, to stop and for the most part they do. However, I can assure you those individuals inclined to refer to a child as " a little bastard" and then ask them to stop a bad behaviour are not going to get too far with the child or the parent. I reprimanded a young man on one of our cruises for playing with the elevators, he stopped and funny enough every time I ran into him after that he ran ahead to press the elevator button for me or to hold it while I navigated the children towards it, a little humanity goes a long way even with a child who hasn't been exposed to proper parenting.
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Old May 27th, 2009, 06:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Littletime
Quote:
Originally Posted by worthew8
Some would be amazed how children would react when a stranger disciplines them.
Suprisingly most of the children that I have reprimanded because their parents were not parenting took it rather well. The majority of them stopped their behaviour right away and either left so I could enjoy my time in peace or just smartened up. Very few ever come back with any sort of reaction. I don't hesitate to speak up and if it means that I get a dirty look from a parent or a kid smart mouths me, I honestly don't care. I ask them politely, but sternly, to stop and for the most part they do. However, I can assure you those individuals inclined to refer to a child as " a little bastard" and then ask them to stop a bad behaviour are not going to get too far with the child or the parent. I reprimanded a young man on one of our cruises for playing with the elevators, he stopped and funny enough every time I ran into him after that he ran ahead to press the elevator button for me or to hold it while I navigated the children towards it, a little humanity goes a long way even with a child who hasn't been exposed to proper parenting.

Thank you 2Littletime, you said it better than I could.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 05:25 PM
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2littletime, so true. I believe that many children do respond positively to discipline, whether it's a verbal scolding or more adverse action.

I was in Safeway last night and this little rug rat (sorry, I had them too) was whining and nagging at her mother...of course it was what SHE wanted (a cookie, or whatever) and the bloody yammering wouldn't stop! I shot the little girl a look and raised my finger to my lips (in the "Shhhh" gesture) and she just stared. Of course the mother didn't bat an eye, which was sad.

I wonder of parents "like these" just tune out? I don't get it...
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Old May 29th, 2009, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Triton
2littletime, so true. I believe that many children do respond positively to discipline, whether it's a verbal scolding or more adverse action.

I was in Safeway last night and this little rug rat (sorry, I had them too) was whining and nagging at her mother...of course it was what SHE wanted (a cookie, or whatever) and the bloody yammering wouldn't stop! I shot the little girl a look and raised my finger to my lips (in the "Shhhh" gesture) and she just stared. Of course the mother didn't bat an eye, which was sad.

I wonder of parents "like these" just tune out? I don't get it...
That same scenario plays out so frequently for me. Being a parent, you unfortunately tend to frequent places where other parents frequent and so you often run into these types of scenes. The other night we were at a meeting and there were two children running absolutely wild, when they stopped to invite my child to do the same I simply responded "No, she can't come with you because you are not behaving and that is not appropriate." They were stunned, within 10 minutes, they were sitting at my feet beside my youngest daughter colouring and having a snack quietly. At the end of the meeting the parents said they couldn't believe how well they behaved and I said "It's amazing what kind of effect a few boundaries and clear expectations can have on a child, you should try it, they have the potential to be nice kids." My husband wanted the earth to open up and swallow him he was so embarassed, but it had to be said.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 11:14 AM
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That's a great message! I'm usually the "vocal" one too.

Good job with those mis-behaving kids!
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Old May 30th, 2009, 02:21 PM
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Yesterday, my hubby and I both had doctor's appointments with our primary. A young child with his parents was playing with his toy trucks, relatively quietly, until another mother and similar aged child came in. The 2 kids starting a game of crashing the toys into each other and yelling loudly. My hubby politely asked that the children make less noise. One mother said to her child that he had to be quiet because "the mean man doesn't like children"! My hubby replied that he liked them fine, but not that level of noise and another person spoke up and said "we're here because we are sick, so please be considerate". Wow. The difference was amazing. But, I couldn't believe that one mother. Well, sadly, yes I can.
Marty
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Old May 30th, 2009, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Yesterday, my hubby and I both had doctor's appointments with our primary. A young child with his parents was playing with his toy trucks, relatively quietly, until another mother and similar aged child came in. The 2 kids starting a game of crashing the toys into each other and yelling loudly. My hubby politely asked that the children make less noise. One mother said to her child that he had to be quiet because "the mean man doesn't like children"! My hubby replied that he liked them fine, but not that level of noise and another person spoke up and said "we're here because we are sick, so please be considerate". Wow. The difference was amazing. But, I couldn't believe that one mother. Well, sadly, yes I can.
Marty
Marty,

I wish all husbands were like yours. The question is, were the children quieted down?

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Old May 31st, 2009, 02:27 PM
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Yes, the kids did settle down. The irony is that my hubby loves kids. He always seems to find a few on cruises and organizes games that keep them, and him, occupied and having fun for hours. He works with kids and adults, many with developmental disorders and always finds a way to relate and interact in a fun way. But, not so much when he is sick!
Marty
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Old May 31st, 2009, 07:24 PM
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I am so happy with the replies. I agree that specaking directly to the child has its results. I remember one time, when we were at sea, a young really bold kid started shouting at my children. I too asked the kid to stop, which she did. I did feel sorry for the little one. Her mother was seated at the bar, completely full of alcohol. The mother was so overweight, and so so loud. I felt sorry for the kid. She came back with us to the Lido restaurant and she was well behaved, although she lacked table manners. It is always a reflection of the parents and the kids upbringing when you see the way the kids behave at meal times.
The next moring, the mother was in the lido, having coffee and stuffing her face with eggs and bacon. her child was beside her. I could cry for that little kid. I looked into the mothers eyes and then told her off for being a bad parent. I left the table when she started throwing pads of butter and jelly at me. I was so embarrassed at her behaviour. After that, I, did not speak with the mother or her little kid for the remainder of the cruise.
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Old June 1st, 2009, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Yes, the kids did settle down. The irony is that my hubby loves kids. He always seems to find a few on cruises and organizes games that keep them, and him, occupied and having fun for hours. He works with kids and adults, many with developmental disorders and always finds a way to relate and interact in a fun way. But, not so much when he is sick!
Marty
I was a hair stylist of 14 years and one time a child was hanging on the door swinging back and forth. I asked him to get of the door and the father (I had no idea a parent was with this child, as I hadn't hear a word from him before this) said he is my child I will tell him what to do.

Another example the stylist was cutting this 12 year old's hair and he was screaming and moving around. My customer remarked on how badly behaved the child was. I remarked that I beleived the child was developmental disabled. I was 99.5% sure he was autistic. My brother is autistic, he doesn't like to be touched and will react that way.

I agree with the previous posts the child should behave in public, however, if the child is reacting odd of their age something else maybe going on. Does the child avoid eye contact, is the child not speaking but only yelling, is the child repeating the same steps over and over again. These are signs he maybe autistic. I say he because it's more common in males. An asutistic person will look like everyone else. This site gives general information about autism.
http://health.yahoo.com/nervous-over...-hw152186.html
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  #102 (permalink)  
Old June 1st, 2009, 01:46 PM
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Thank you, Katlady, for reminding all of us that what we see of a person and our opinions say more about us than the child, or adult, that we are reacting to. We rarely know enough to make accurate judgements. And, no, I'm not one of those who think criminals just had bad childhoods and be pitied, etc. But, out of control people of any age may be dealing with something we don't know about.
Marty
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Old June 2nd, 2009, 03:28 PM
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A very interesting way you dealt with that Lynn..it appears confrontational
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Old June 9th, 2009, 02:30 PM
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A very interesting way you dealt with that Lynn..it appears confrontational
I always put the needs of others before myself. In this case, it was the child. I still see sadness in her eyes when i think back. Its making me feel sad thinking about it again. Thank you for allowing me to explain.
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Old June 9th, 2009, 03:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc
I would never take that behaviour. I would complain to Maitre D' first night. I would go to Hotel Director after second night. If family wasn't put ashore after third night; I would have been on phone to Corporate. There is no excuse for toleration of this type of behaviour.
Is this a joke? Have the family put ashore because their children are poorly behaved? I think not!
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Old June 17th, 2009, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katlady
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Yes, the kids did settle down. The irony is that my hubby loves kids. He always seems to find a few on cruises and organizes games that keep them, and him, occupied and having fun for hours. He works with kids and adults, many with developmental disorders and always finds a way to relate and interact in a fun way. But, not so much when he is sick!
Marty
I was a hair stylist of 14 years and one time a child was hanging on the door swinging back and forth. I asked him to get of the door and the father (I had no idea a parent was with this child, as I hadn't hear a word from him before this) said he is my child I will tell him what to do.

Another example the stylist was cutting this 12 year old's hair and he was screaming and moving around. My customer remarked on how badly behaved the child was. I remarked that I beleived the child was developmental disabled. I was 99.5% sure he was autistic. My brother is autistic, he doesn't like to be touched and will react that way.

I agree with the previous posts the child should behave in public, however, if the child is reacting odd of their age something else maybe going on. Does the child avoid eye contact, is the child not speaking but only yelling, is the child repeating the same steps over and over again. These are signs he maybe autistic. I say he because it's more common in males. An asutistic person will look like everyone else. This site gives general information about autism.
http://health.yahoo.com/nervous-over...-hw152186.html
On our roll call one time was a couple with a 9 year old son that had autism. they warned us we may see him acting out. They also said they would take him back to their stateroom if he acted out too much.

Another time I met a couple with a little girl with autism on a cruiseship. It was the private island day and I had stayed on ship and was at the pool. They told me they liked to take her to the pool when not many were around. The little girl did not have any tantrums that I saw, she was a little loud, but boy did she love that pool! It made me feel good to see ehr so happy.
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Old June 17th, 2009, 06:30 PM
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They probably like to take the little girl to the pool when there weren't to much people, because loud noise can cause the little girl to have a tantrums. If a little kid is crying my brother will freak out. My brother likes water to. He use to play in the fish pond until my dad blocked it off.
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Old June 18th, 2009, 08:00 PM
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I witnessed something similar though not on the Valor. I was on the Conquest and there were stairs that rose by one of the swimming pools, adjacent to it. They were climbing up the stairs and jumping into the pool, practically on top of people. One boy jumped in and literally kicked a little girl right in the head. I was in the pool with my brother and there was a couple beside us and we exchanged glances so I was positive it wasn't us being too easily annoyed. I politely asked the kids to stop as they weren't even supposed to jump into the pool at all, and they were putting themselves, as well as others in danger. They stopped.

There was also a little boy later in the week who clung to the ladder. Well, no one could get it. After someone asked him to move to the side his father said, "Well, he can't swim!" Well, then he doesn't need to be in the pool...lol.

Besides that, kids were basically unseen. Camp Carnival really kept them busy in the evenings, no doubt about it.
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Old June 19th, 2009, 04:54 AM
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Quote:
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I politely asked the kids to stop
What a nice thing to do. It sounds that you have a nice manner. I am glad that the kids behaved themselves after your brief conversation. We Done.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you.
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