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-   -   CHANGING TABLEMATES (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/travel-gripes/368039-changing-tablemates.html)

JOYCEV September 16th, 2009 07:16 PM

CHANGING TABLEMATES
 
WHILE READING ANOTHER PERSONS THREAD ABOUT WONDERFUL TABLEMATES i GOT TO THINKING what do you do if you end up with a group or a person who makes your dining experience miserable or even uncomfortable I know I am disabled and that somwtimes makes others uncomfotable

ScurvyDog September 16th, 2009 07:23 PM

Simply go to the maître d’ and ask that your table be changed. They will reseat you if space is available. 8)

VegasCrossfire September 16th, 2009 07:30 PM

Yes, we once had to ask to be moved because we did not understand our tablemates and they did not understand us. They were German, and I'm sure they were very nice, but it was quite frustrating for us - and I'm sure it was very frustrating to them to.

We were moved and luckily, whenever we bumped into the other tablemates, they politely smiled back at us as we smiled at them. I don't think there were any hard feelings and I'm sure they were relieved.

DayvidB September 18th, 2009 05:06 PM

JOYCEV

"I know I am disabled and that somwtimes makes others uncomfotable"

If they are then as humans they are very shallow and to be honest you would not want to dine with them anyway

In my social acceptable mind and as a non disabled person with a social attitude to life I find it really hard to understand why having a disabled person at their dining table would make others feel uncomfortable.

There is no true answer to the problem you present, you can only hope in life you find more folks that are accepting of others than those you may meet that dont and if they dont shame on them and ask to be moved,,,,,but dont go into hiding in a table for one or two or the buffet.

Disabled or not we are what we are,,,,diverse

colorcrazie September 19th, 2009 02:59 PM

One of our favorite dinner mates was a woman with advanced cerebal palsy. Her caregiver had to put every bite of food into her mouth. She could not talk to us at all, but she could give a happy, friendly look to each of us and she did. I talked to her caregiver on deck one day and she told me that the woman had always fantasized about a cruise and finally decided to just do it. Her courage and determination to follow her dream and make it a reality has always given me a boost when I need it.
Marty

travel_babe September 21st, 2009 04:59 PM

I can't ever imagine asking to be reseated because a tablemate was disabled, then again, I grew up with two blind family members, so maybe that has something to do with my views.

Actually, on our last cruise, all our tablemates left my husband and I. I think it was because we're younger and look different (we both have piercings and tattoos). This time we've opted to do MTD and will ask for a 2-top. I think we'll prefer sitting with each other and just doing our own thing without wondering if our tablemates will show up the next night.

colorcrazie September 22nd, 2009 01:42 PM

Unless you saw your former table mates in the dining room, they may simply have decided to eat at the buffet. Not my style, but a lot of people do that. I may do it once on a cruise, if I just don't feel up to a long dinner. But, my point is that it may not have had anything to do with you or your look.
Marty

travel_babe September 23rd, 2009 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Unless you saw your former table mates in the dining room, they may simply have decided to eat at the buffet. Not my style, but a lot of people do that. I may do it once on a cruise, if I just don't feel up to a long dinner. But, my point is that it may not have had anything to do with you or your look.
Marty

We saw them several times in the MDR, and they politely smiled at us in passing. Sometimes you just get the feeling people don't want to socialize with you, and that's fine.

green_rd September 23rd, 2009 03:47 PM

I have said this in other posts, but ... On our last cruise we were at a 4 top and just didn't "click" with our table mates. It's not that it was tense at the table, we just didn't have much to talk about.

Next cruise, if we are seated at a 4 top again, I plan on making some statement to the fact that if they meet someone they would rather sit with we would not be offended with a swap, but we do look forward to getting to know them. Hopefully we will be at a big table and can find somebody to socialize with.

colorcrazie September 24th, 2009 02:17 PM

travel babe,
In that case, it was their loss.
Marty

travel_babe September 24th, 2009 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colorcrazie
travel babe,
In that case, it was their loss.
Marty

Awe, thanks! :D

JOYCEV September 29th, 2009 02:33 PM

SOME OF YOU REFER TO A 6 TOP OR A TOP. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

katlady September 29th, 2009 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JOYCEV
SOME OF YOU REFER TO A 6 TOP OR A TOP. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

They are referring to the number of people at the table. A small table that holds only 4 people can be uncomfortable if the people don't click. I'm not sure what "TOP" stands for table of people maybe or not. LOL

green_rd September 29th, 2009 03:35 PM

The number of patrons that can sit at a table. A table for two is a 2 top.

Parrot Mom September 29th, 2009 09:55 PM

CHANGING TABLES
 
On the other hand....we had a table with three elderly sisters who drank like fishes...for two weeks...another couple.. he thought he was king of the hill and ordered for his wife an chastised her for everything and another couple where the husband rarely showed up.. We should have changed but didn't.. One time we did sit at a table many moons ago with really elderly people.. it was one of our first cruises...We were about to change tables an discovered that one of the couples was the most delightful seniors you would ever want to meet.. He would sing to his wife every night,everybody knew him... it was wonderfull As for being with a handicaplped person....no sweat..

thasic September 30th, 2009 02:06 AM

It would really be according to what you mean by disabled. In a wheelchair, no problem. Blind, okay. Now this is going to sound cruel but, a horrible disfigurement, some disgusting (although unavoidable and not intentional) habit or some such, man I'm moving. I paid big bucks for a cruise and sitting next to the Rainman ain't cutting it. Sorry. I know it may seem shallow, but I am not going to suffer just to appear noble when I'm on vacation.

bobsfamily September 30th, 2009 09:11 PM

The last cruise we had a table for 2 (2 top) and unless the "kids" go on a cruise with us the 2 top is for us now. It was great to just talk with my wife... We had such a good time!

Mike M October 1st, 2009 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobsfamily
The last cruise we had a table for 2 (2 top) and unless the "kids" go on a cruise with us the 2 top is for us now. It was great to just talk with my wife... We had such a good time!

Yep:

There are times it is nice to be "just the two of us".

After 27 years we still find things to talk about.

Take care,
Mike

DayvidB October 2nd, 2009 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thasic
It would really be according to what you mean by disabled. In a wheelchair, no problem. Blind, okay. Now this is going to sound cruel but, a horrible disfigurement, some disgusting (although unavoidable and not intentional) habit or some such, man I'm moving. I paid big bucks for a cruise and sitting next to the Rainman ain't cutting it. Sorry. I know it may seem shallow, but I am not going to suffer just to appear noble when I'm on vacation.

It’s not being noble when you as a fellow human can accept others for all their frailties. So what you are saying is I can accept some of you, but not others in life, and especially when cruising,,,,,why... as I paid for this experience and given that,,,when on a ship reality in life should be different,,, and everyone is perfect, shame on that thinking

Sorry, that bubble if it exists should be BURST, as ships present the most diverse social vacation experience out there that you will ever meet, a captive audience, tight living and socially diversity. You cant just walk away, you deal with it or go into a personal bubble.

And thats the problem, more go into personal bubbles and dont accept the experience of others that may not their normal social profile

More and more lines are introducing ways of dining and removing the chance of potential people meeting, ie anytime dining, increased buffet areas etc. They have done this because some races and people are now so insolar that they cannot extend their lives to take in others,,,thats the biggest shame

JOYCEV October 2nd, 2009 03:05 PM

Just back from our Golden cruise. we had requested a 6 top table and were seated at a 10 top, our tablemates were vere congenial, but ir is hard to get to know that amount of people I am pretty bad at remembering names, but I finally got them all straight by our last dinner

momofmeg November 11th, 2009 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DayvidB
Quote:

Originally Posted by thasic
It would really be according to what you mean by disabled. In a wheelchair, no problem. Blind, okay. Now this is going to sound cruel but, a horrible disfigurement, some disgusting (although unavoidable and not intentional) habit or some such, man I'm moving. I paid big bucks for a cruise and sitting next to the Rainman ain't cutting it. Sorry. I know it may seem shallow, but I am not going to suffer just to appear noble when I'm on vacation.

It’s not being noble when you as a fellow human can accept others for all their frailties. So what you are saying is I can accept some of you, but not others in life, and especially when cruising,,,,,why... as I paid for this experience and given that,,,when on a ship reality in life should be different,,, and everyone is perfect, shame on that thinking

Sorry, that bubble if it exists should be BURST, as ships present the most diverse social vacation experience out there that you will ever meet, a captive audience, tight living and socially diversity. You cant just walk away, you deal with it or go into a personal bubble.

And thats the problem, more go into personal bubbles and dont accept the experience of others that may not their normal social profile

More and more lines are introducing ways of dining and removing the chance of potential people meeting, ie anytime dining, increased buffet areas etc. They have done this because some races and people are now so insolar that they cannot extend their lives to take in others,,,thats the biggest shame

On my last HAL cruise I ran into a little girl with autism. Her parents took her to the pool the day we were at Halfmoon Cay. She was loud but very happy. They spoke to me and apologized to me-they told me that they tried to pick at a time when most would not be there-so she could enjoy the pool. I told them, not to concern themselves, I did not mind happy sounds!

Now I did not have dinner with this fmaily, but something tells me, with their being so considerate and sensitive to others' feelings, that they would not have taken a table with strangers-I am sure they either specified a smaller table, or else one of them would stay with their child while the other attended dinner.

Now, this child WAS very loud-she may would have been hard for me to handle sitting with at dinner.

Now my friend's son that has autism, he is extremely quiet. He would not say a peep to me and he would not look me in the face for ages after I met this mother. He will now talk to me, and he is so sweet and loving, plus the boy is very bright, he is just uncomfortable around strangers. However, he would be no problem for strangers at dinner. He does not act out-he just becomes extremely quiet.

Anyway, my point, I guess it depends on the individual. Autism can be very different in different people.

Now Rainman, I think he would have been kind've fun to have for a dinnermate. I loved that movie.

fourxbusymom November 12th, 2009 09:05 AM

My husband and I changed tables on our 12-day Hawaiian cruise. We were at a table for 14, and severall nights we were the only ones who would go two dinner. That was VERY uncomfortable. We met another couple on one of our excursions, and explained to them what was going on, and they invited us to join their table. They had a 6 top with only two couples. So we changed and had a blast every night! It was so nice to look forward to going to the dining room to catch-up each night.

green_rd November 16th, 2009 03:31 PM

Almost changed tables on your last cruise. Two of four couples were not native English speakers. The ladies spoke fine but seemed to prefer their mother tongue so the table would often devolve into a bilingual environment.

meliward413 February 16th, 2010 03:59 PM

I usually get along with everyone so don't worry too much about tablemates. The only thing I worry about is being seated at a big table where everyone else is together. I requested a large table for an upcoming cruise with my husband and I'm PRAYING we're not seated as the last 2 seats with a group of 8 or 6. So far hasn't happened on a cruise but happens to us at hibachi ALL THE TIME and it's soooo uncomfortable to be the outsiders!

On a lighter note, on my first cruise one of the couples at our table broke up half way through the cruise (they were engaged!) They showed up night one happy enough but the next 2 nights argued through dinner, night after that were gone and by the 5th night just the guy was back. He said they'd broken up but didn't want to talk about it. We were all sooooo curious!

misguidedangel February 20th, 2010 02:33 PM

I cruise solo, so that means I get put at ANY table with one seat left....That can be good, or it can be miserable!

The Freedom cruise last April I had a table for eight and five of us showed up. One couple should have had a talbe for two cuz they were so deep into themselves they didn't even notice that there were three other people, even when we said hello when we arrived....The two other women where whiners. I got an assignment for another table, the best he could find, and all but one of the seven people were old enough to be my parents. True, they could be the fun older set, but I didn't want to see. It was the table behind the old table, and I didn't hear much from them, so I opted for the buffet instead and that worked out good....

My recent Glory cruise my friend and I were at a table for two--dunno why. We moved to a table for eight with six retired people (youngest was around 70) and we had a hoot!!! Those ladies were wild and kept us going! True, I was young enough to be youngest child, but we had fun!

I will be platinum for my next cruise, so that will be interesting to see WHERE I get a table...and I do hope it is in the dining room that a specific maitre d is in...ooh la la, he's hot!......

DayvidB March 3rd, 2010 02:47 PM

Hey Marty, thats a great post and sorry for laughing to myself but it made me think as I know your personal situation. Where are the posts from the disabled people that have been stuck on dining tables on a ship with complete abled bodied ashols for X number of nights???

This "complaint" has got to be two way. Can the disabled person who found themself dining with a complete bunch of morons and had to ask to be moved,,,please shout!!

If you have not used it so far I will give you the Maitre'D line to use. Hey you, I may be in a wheel chair and may have physical problems but that's no excuse to sit me with these able bodied morons. I cant sit or dine with people at least 20% below my IQ level, please move me as they are killing my brain listening to them.

Nurse Debra March 3rd, 2010 07:28 PM

We have never changed tables, but in our many cruises there were a couple of times when we probably should have. Our best tablemates were a couple of years ago when we were the only Americans at a table for ten. It was great discussing how the various countries govern and how at the end of the day we all had the same hopes and worries.

I guess we could take about anything except someone who constantly whines and complains about perceived problems with minor things. I think we all know someone who always seems to have a major problem on almost every vacation. That, for sure, would push me over the edge.

Debra

girlcruise March 7th, 2010 11:13 PM

My sister and I are going on our first cruise this May and we will be traveling solo without DH's or kids. We had planned it with a several other family members and friends but other things came up...i.e. new job or pregnancy. I was considering asking a close friend if she would like to join us, but thought better of it because of her whining and complaining personality.

Just going out to lunch with her is trying to say the least, the spoons are dirty, the water is not cold enough the food must be prepared a certain way because of her preferences and allergies....I have come to the point that I right away let the wait staff know that we are getting seperate checks...just in case they decide to retaliate.

My sister and I spoke about this and decided not to invite her not only for ourselves but why subject other people to this when trying to enjoy their vacation.
I would definitely ask for another table if seated with this type of individual or eat at the buffet. I am there to enjoy and relax, so I really wish everyone could leave the gripes and complaints at home...believe me they will be waiting for you when u return.

Lakers Fan March 9th, 2010 10:51 AM

In our 3 previous cruises ,all open seating we never had anyone at our table who complained about anything ,however ,I'm sure that what you are saying is accurate

Nurse Debra March 10th, 2010 09:48 PM

Henry, I agree that most cruisers are great. We always go to the fixed seating but usually ask for a table for six or eight. Most of the people that you meet on a cruise are great, but there are always the few. At the end of the day, at least for us, the good far outweighs the bad.

Debra


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