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Focus Group, Survey and Poll Results

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During the course of the last twelve months I assigned myself the task of performing very extensive, time consuming, and expensive cruise research;including focus groups, surveys, and polls.

My deadline has come, and it’s time to share the results of this fantastically interesting work.

All of the mathematical work required to tabulate the final results were prepared by a third party independent accounting firm – Liar, Liar, Pants & Fire LLC.

The Focus Group

The Number 1 most important amenity to the participants of my focus group (by a sizeable margin) was a ship that floated.

.06% of participants expressed a preference for ships that could fly as we’ll.
50% of those wished the cabins on the ships had larger overhead bins.

When told no passengers would ever be required to row the ship, the approval dials of the focus group went off the charts.

During discussions of various pricing structures in place by different cruise lines, the highest disapproval ratings were expressed when it became known that no one, aside from cruise travel journalists and captain’s wives or mistresses, could cruise free.

Perhaps interestingly, there was one topic of discussion that 100% of focus group participants agree on; food should be available.

76% favoured availability 24 hours a day; 46 % favoured a limit of 16 lbs. of food per day per person; 28% favoured being spoon fed upon request; .0003 % believed people should be required to bring their own food; 97% thought more of an attempt should be made to feed all the homeless on the ship.


Though every effort was made to reach scientifically significant results, and to verify that each focus group participant was a human being, we can not acknowledge the veracity of any of the statements or results included here. In fact, we recommend you assume this has been meaningless drivel.

Survey and Poll

In this section we combine the results of the responses we received to our written survey with those taken from online respondents.

As a result, our findings show that every cruise line in existence wins an award of some kind in all of the various categories anyone can possibly think of. And many have won awards in categories that no one has ever thought of.

All of the cruise lines tied for the Best Of The Best Award, and each will be sent an official certificate verifying their status as winners in this category, which they are free to display in their advertising and on their websites.

The result for the Best Travel Journalist Award was much closer than expected. This was an odd result because all of the voting took place in my mind. I did eke out a win, but only came in second in the Best Disguised Marketing category.

– A View From The Kuki Side of Cruising –

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