being tight = frugality.
What's a sporran?
I thought AMERICANS invented deep fried Mars Bars. I know we have deep fried Twinkies and Coke.
BTW: I keep my wife in a far better life than she was accutomed to. She even has a pet Pappillon, after all. (She is one of those wives... just got back from the beauty parlor where both she and her puppy had their nails done).
I am JUST KIDDING - really!