As usual, Jim has it right.
Crew are not "upgraded" to empty cabins on any cruise line that I know of.
I can also say that the "Head of the Kitchen" (that would be Executive Chef) is off duty far before 2 AM.
If that's your story and you're sticking with it, who are we to say that you are wrong, except years and years of crusing say it's not very likely.
As to the insanity plea, being somewhat insane is part of the fun working for CruiseMates. Stupidity is not tolerated.