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Old July 10th, 2001, 12:49 PM
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 250
Default Travel Essentials?

Met my cabinmate Debbie for coffee this morning, and she brought me an issue of TravelEssentials magazine; then groaned at me when I started looking through it and snickered a couple of times (“I should have KNOWN not to show you this!” were her exact words). So please don’t take offense; I’m having a slow day and have a bad case of the giggles today. Here goes…..

1. SHOE CARRIER: “give them their own travel bag!” yeah right, as if I don’t have enuf problems, they want to sell me a shoe carrier that only holds up to 6 pairs of women shoes!! couldn’t have been designed by a woman.

2. PURSES WITH BUILT-IN ANTI-THEFT PROTECTION: “stainless-steel cable in strap! … lightweight and fashionable (8-1/2 x 7 ‘ 1-1/2”); so where do I put my shopping bags!)

3. HIDE YOUR VALUABLES IN PLAIN SIGHT: “Where is the last place a thief would think to look for a strand of pearls or cash? How about inside a can of foot (Desenex) or hair spray (Rave)! … but the bottom of each can unscrews to reveal a handy compartment..” Hmm, that maybe could work! With my luck, I’d leave these at work & pack the real things!!!

4. DOOR STOP ALARM: “Place it at the base of your door, and anyone trying to enter your room will set off a shrill, pulsating, siren-alarm.” I know i’d forget the batteries.

5. JAMMER: device with suction cup to inside of sliding glass door. (save 60 cents if you buy 2 or more). “good idea to take along when traveling by train in Europe”. For some reason, i’ve always had problems with suction cups.

6. EVAC-U8 SMOKE HOOD: “just twist off the cap and remove from its compact canister, bite down on the snorkel-like filter, and pull the heat-resistant (800 degrees), Teflon-coated hood over your head.” Seeing is believing (Spring/Summer Reference Edition, p. 19). or maybe it’ll show up in www.magellans.com. No comment, too busy LMAO.

7. MULTI WORKER: “the one with the scissors, stapler, pencil sharpener, tape measure, ballpoint pen, staple remover, carton opener and hole punch … it even has a little mini-drawer for carrying paper clips, extra staples, etc.” No excuse for not working now!!

8. SWISS ARMY KNIFE w/PEN: “2-1/4” inches includes small blade, scissors, tweezers, nail file with screwdriver tip, and even a miniature ball point pen!” Need I say more?

9. SECURITY BAG: constructed of flexible lead fabric to hold film. Just call me SuperWoman!

10. TOOL LITE DELUXE: Credit card size case includes a serrated knife with 2” blade, folding scissors, tweezer, flat screwdriver, Phillips and eyeglass screwdriver, nail file, toothpick, staple puller, ruler and a super bright red LED mini flashlight with replaceable 3-volt battery.” Decisions, decisions, right, guys?

11. TRAVEL WINE GLASSES: look like crystal, made of indestructible Lexan. what every cruiser needs!

12. TRAVEL DUCT TAPE !!! need I say more? two 8-foot rolls. oh be still my heart!!

13. PLATYPUS BOTTLES (i’m not kidding!): … “The Platypus, made of durable plastic laminate that is guaranteed not to leak or flavor your water, folds up when empty… holds a liter of water & includes a handy push-pull top.” I think I need that!

honest, the following is on page 44:

14. TRAVEL TOILET TISSUE: “Be ready when nature calls” (I have to admit I have this from last year’s land trip (never used)

15. URI-MATE URINATION FUNNELS: “..stiff-paper funnel that allows women to stand, with minimal undressing, when nature calls. Disposable after use. (ladies, our dreams come true, we get to STAND!!) figure it goes with the travel toilet tissue.

16. RESTOP: Disposable travel toilet. “for those ‘can’t wait’ emergencies… biodegradable filling absorbs & deodorizes urine on contact, in a sturdy bag that won’t leak or splash…includes tissues and antiseptic wipes.” goes with the travel toilet tissue. hmm, bag or funnel – more decisions!

17. GOING ABROAD: THE BATHROOM SURVIVAL GUIDE: a book for how to answer the call of nature; guess they may not know about the bags & funnels.

18. WOMEN’S (and MEN’S) DISPOSABLE BRIEFS (PKG OF 5): “made of soft, breathable polypropylene (hospital gown material)…” goes with everything above, but how comforting is polypropylene against your baby-soft skin????

Again, these were not meant to offend. I found them in Magellan’s catalog; the sad part is, I was beginning to seriously think about some of them!! (you guess which ones)

Joanne
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Old July 10th, 2001, 01:31 PM
2B@sea
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Default Re: Travel Essentials?

What I want to know if where is someone going that they need all that? Please tell me no one has booked a cruise on a line where you must not leave home without your door stopper, schrill alarm or sliding glass door suction cup.

Where do they get these thing from?
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Old July 10th, 2001, 02:26 PM
Bensley's
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Default Re: Travel Essentials?

3. HIDE YOUR VALUABLES IN PLAIN SIGHT: “Where is the last place a thief would think to look for a strand of pearls or cash? How about inside a can of foot (Desenex) or hair spray (Rave)! … but the bottom of each can unscrews to reveal a handy compartment..” Hmm, that maybe could work! With my luck, I’d leave these at work & pack the real things!!!

Or end up throwing them away because you didn't feel like lugging them home! :o)
And actually the theives already know about all these devices, because they have a yearly subscription to Magellans and the Theftproofing for Dummies book.
hahah

This was great! Thanks Joanne!
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Old July 10th, 2001, 02:36 PM
Paul & Sarah Thomas
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Default Re: Travel Essentials?

ha too good. Thank you Joane for sharing that with us.
People hide their jewelry in the strangest places.
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Old July 10th, 2001, 02:41 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 1,717
Default Re: Travel Essentials?

Hey, Jo, we USE some of those things: 4, 8, 11, and 12.

The door stop alarm is a great thing when you have connecting cabins with toddlers in one and parents in the other. Keeps the wee ones from leaving while you're asleep.

The Swiss army knife (sans pen) goes with me everywhere unless I'm wearing a swimsuit.

The travel wine glasses are great. Really. I use them in lieu of those ugly bathroom-type glass things in our stateroom until our cabin steward brings us real ones. Gotta have that handle to hang onto, ya know.

Travel duct tape? I don't buy it from those people, but we DO take duct tape on our cruises, and have used it for many, many things. Wouldn't travel without at least a short roll (usually wrapped around a functional pencil).

Thought about #18, but decided in favor of the edible kind. (yeah, right.)
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Old July 10th, 2001, 05:42 PM
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 250
Default Re: Travel Essentials?

there were also a couple of other goodies I forgot to mention: like the DERMATONE TOPCOAT: "spray it through your thinning hair (or on your partline) to help protect .. from painful sunburn..." Does that mean i'll "shine" through?

or the RELIEFBAND for the ultimate natural relief from motion sickness; "it stimulates the nerves in your wrist with gentle electrical signals.." what is "natural" about electric shock?

thank goodness it's almost time to go home!!

Joanne
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Old July 10th, 2001, 07:16 PM
Lady Jag
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Default Re: Travel Essentials?

What in the heck is "Lexan"? (#11)

One thing I will never travel without again is a shoe organizer. We used 2 of them on last cruise for things like sunscreen, make-up, hairspray, brushes, combs, fingernail polish & remover, nylons, Bonine, vitamins and so much more. Couldn't believe what a differrence they made!! Everything was neat and organized and for once, we could find what we needed.
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Old July 10th, 2001, 07:57 PM
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Admiral
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 1,717
Default Re: Travel Essentials?

Lexan is an extremely light, extremely strong clear plastic (wine glasses with screw-on stems).
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