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  #181 (permalink)  
Old September 2nd, 2009, 07:33 PM
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Luanne, I hope that you are doing well.

I wanted to tell you that I am very happy because I just got a nice postcard from Jim.

Of course we appreciate his service to our country.

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  #182 (permalink)  
Old September 2nd, 2009, 10:35 PM
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He told me about your card. He was so thrilled to hear from someone. Thank you for taking the time for him.
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  #183 (permalink)  
Old September 3rd, 2009, 06:37 AM
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Luanne,

You've certainly got a "keeper" in Jim. I'd be proud were I to be only half the guy he is.

Todd
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  #184 (permalink)  
Old September 3rd, 2009, 10:53 AM
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Luanne, do you know when Jim is coming home?

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  #185 (permalink)  
Old September 3rd, 2009, 06:10 PM
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Yes, and no He is due back in Jan. but his Commander in Chief might have other ideas.

We should know more later.
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  #186 (permalink)  
Old October 13th, 2009, 12:14 AM
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I thought it might be a good time to get everyone caught up on what is going on in my recovery.

I feel so much stronger now. I also have a new outlook on life. It seems so strange to me, to loose not only my baby, but to loose my joy for life as well. It's a dark place you go to, that I would never wish on anyone.

AS you know I started therapy shortly after Joe's death, but discontinued it, when I thought I could do it alone. That was not one of my better decisions. I have rejoined therapy, once a week, and with a new person. It is going much better this time. She doesn't just listen, but also gets involved in the conversation, and also gives me things to work on, to improve my feelings.

One of the first things we worked on was my sleeping, or lack of it. I have yet to sleep all the way through the night, on Saturdays, since Joe died. I relive seeing him for the last time, and then it is not until I know that it is the hour he died, that I can finally sleep. If I go to bed, I always wake up, at the time he died. She has given me some tips on what I should do, and hopefully it will one day allow me to sleep.

I am able now to go all week, without crying. I still can't think about Joe, but at least I can go about my every day life, without a box of tissues by my side.

I hope this will also improve with time.

The DA's office called a week ago and wanted to meet again. Since Jim is still in Iraq, I went with one of the witnesses and his father, since they also wanted to talk to him.

Everything I have read since all this happened, is that you will be disappointed in the justice system. Not the DA or the police, but the justice system. They were not wrong. I am saddened, that what little life is worth these days. I cannot go into what was discussed, because this is an open forum, but I will say that in general, the justice system has their own math. Life means 30 40 means 20

You get the idea. I decided on the way home, that justice would no longer be one of my worries. If they can afford to put a cold blooded killer back on the street, it becomes their problem, not mine.

If you let it, it will drive you crazy, but I have decided we have been hurt enough as it is. We will not let this continue to hurt us with new things.

They also said that "if" there is a trial, it will be sometime next spring. So much for fast justice. You will love this part. When they said spring I thought of our cruise. They assured me that they would work around it. Now that is a dedicated cruiser.

I did go back to teaching for a little while, but had to quit. I was not able to give it my all, and that was depressing me. They left the door open for me to come back when I am stronger, but I wonder if that will ever happen. I found myself one day wondering which of the children would not make it to adulthood, and which might be the one to end a life. That was not what I would have done 9 months ago. Okay so we did wonder which one would one day have a prison number, but that is different.

For years, I couldn't stand to be home, but now I spend lots of time, making the house clean. I also sit outside and watch the trees, and the grass, and remember what God has created. I guess you could say, I am once again remembering what it is like to actually live again.

A funny/sad thing happened at the grocery store last week. I was in line, and had a new clothes basket in the buggy. A woman in front of me, turned it over and said, "Why didn't you get the one with the wheels?"

I told her that I couldn't do that because my son would be playing with it.

It was not until I got out to the car, that I realized that I had been talking about Joe. Josh would never play with something like a basket. I guess I have a ways to go.

I still feel all the prayers. Please keep them coming. They are appreciated.

Luanne
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  #187 (permalink)  
Old October 15th, 2009, 08:57 PM
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Luanne,,
Keep a stiff upper lip and know that we are all praying for you.
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  #188 (permalink)  
Old November 7th, 2009, 10:24 AM
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Hi Luanne, I just wanted to know that we are still adjusting Ok and that Jim is holding his own as well.

God bless you both.

TM
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  #189 (permalink)  
Old November 7th, 2009, 03:00 PM
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Thank you for thinking of us. We are holding up okay, and Jim is getting ready to come hom.

Thanks again.
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  #190 (permalink)  
Old November 8th, 2009, 10:38 AM
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Will Jim be home for Christmas?

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CRUISES
Century 4/1998
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Infinity 4/2003
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Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011
Independence of the Seas 12/29/2013 Top-notch!
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  #191 (permalink)  
Old November 8th, 2009, 02:24 PM
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Yes He should be here the first or second week of Dec.
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  #192 (permalink)  
Old November 8th, 2009, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luanne Russo
Yes He should be here the first or second week of Dec.
That is one awsome Christmas present.

TM
__________________
CRUISES
Century 4/1998
Mercury 4/2000+4/2006+7/2007
Sensation 4/2002
Infinity 4/2003
Summit 4/2004+4/2005
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011
Independence of the Seas 12/29/2013 Top-notch!
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  #193 (permalink)  
Old December 11th, 2009, 09:25 AM
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I am not sure what to do. Scream, cry or just crawl up into a tight ball, and let the world go by without me.

I got an e-mail from the ADA last night. (Assistant District Attorney) She says that the judge has agreed to a continuance, which means to put off the court date. Now it is set for Feb. 22. I was suppose to get my first look at the defendent on Mon. and that date has been set for Jan 11. Of course Jan 11th is the date of death, which means I will not be in a good mood. It feels like a sick joke.

I keep trying to tell myself that dates do not matter, in my process of recovery, but when it comes down to it, it really does.

We all have hopes in our lives, and mine are small these days. My hope was that by the end of January, all of this would be behind me. A new beginning, without going to a trial, or even thinking about the shooting. I guess it just isn't to be. I realize the trial is not about us, and we are in fact, invited guests, but it has so much to do with us.

Christmas...... Who would have thought it could be such a sad time for me. I always loved Christams. Not only my Lord's Birthday, but a time that I have wonderful memories of family when I was growing up.

This year I just want it to go away. I know that Joe gets to spend time in heaven this year, but I am selfish. I want him here too.

The Christmas song that gets me the most. "I'll Be Home For Christmas" especially the part where it says "If only in my dreams"

Oh how my heart aches for my child I can't hold in my arms.

If only things could have been different.
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  #194 (permalink)  
Old December 11th, 2009, 06:03 PM
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Please hang in there Luanne and remember, we're ALL pulling for you and Jim.

Todd
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