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-   Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/cruise-jokes-trivia-just-laughs/)
-   -   Top ten lists (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/cruise-jokes-trivia-just-laughs/385557-top-ten-lists.html)

61maris61 October 19th, 2011 02:58 PM

Top ten lists
 
How about a thread of cruise related top tens (think Letterman style). Here's one from a new book of cruise jokes and limericks:


TOP TEN REASONS YOUR PRE-CRUISE HOTEL CHOICE WAS A BAD ONE

1. The complimentary newspaper has the headline, "DEWEY ELECTED PRESIDENT!"

2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you get close to it.

3. The pictures are not placed for decoration; they're there to cover up bullet holes.

4. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.

5. Only one television channel comes in, and even though the picture is bad, you can tell its you sitting on the bed in your room.

6. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.

7. The City Morgue is located next door for their convenience.

8. Your wake up call is courtesy of a police helicopter.

9. "Park and Cruise" means while you're away locals use your car to cruise the neighborhood, and hopefully park it someplace where you'll find it.

10. Your hotel is featured every night on COPS!
.

Manuel October 19th, 2011 03:22 PM

Those are funny. LOL

TM

Lakers Fan October 19th, 2011 09:32 PM

10) Todd and Sarah were on my cruise

9) Instead of TV's we had radios

8) Ocean swimming was the only on board activity

7) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were the dinner entrees every night

6) Silent movies were shown in the theater

5) Long Island water was the only beverage

4) The only port we could visit was Transylvania

3) Every cabin had framed pictures of the Titanic

2) The entertainer was the grandson of Senor Wences

1) The cruise was 365 days

61maris61 October 22nd, 2011 07:31 AM

Nice Addition!
 
Very interesting and creative - I especially liked the Senor Wences & Long Island water ones!

Now, I would disagree with you on Todd and Sarah, but I guess that's for another thread:p.

Lakers Fan October 22nd, 2011 11:47 PM

Todd and Sarah
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 61maris61 (Post 1397973)
Very interesting and creative - I especially liked the Senor Wences & Long Island water ones!

Now, I would disagree with you on Todd and Sarah, but I guess that's for another thread:p.

You realize of course that I might have not been referring to the Palins .

Manuel October 23rd, 2011 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry43 (Post 1398111)
You realize of course that I might have not been referring to the Palins .

Those names are not unusual. It could have been Todd an Sarah Smith.

TM

61maris61 October 23rd, 2011 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manuel (Post 1398117)
Those names are not unusual. It could have been Todd an Sarah Smith.

TM

I actually thought it was referring to neighbors of mine, Todd & Sarah Polurleggski.

Lakers Fan October 23rd, 2011 07:15 PM

Todd and Sarah Bachman

61maris61 November 8th, 2011 03:51 PM

Time For a New Addition:
 
Also taken from SHIP HAPPENS by M J Kikker:

WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS WHILE WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT CRUISE:

1. When someone says, “Have a nice day!”, tell them you have other plans
2. Drive to work in reverse
3. Write a short story using Alphabet Soup
4. Make up a language and ask people for directions
5. Go grocery shopping. Sneak items no one would usually buy into other’s people’s carts
6. Dance naked in front of your pets
7. If you have a toddler, dress him/her in clothes backwards before sending them off to pre-school or day care
8. Call up your local pizza place, ask for toppings they won’t possibly have (elephant ear, chocolate covered grasshoppers, zebra stripes). See how many you can ask for before they hang up on you.
9. Buy one of those horsey things on a stick and run around your neighborhood shouting, “THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!”
10. Buy an inflatable boat, have dinner in it on your front lawn, and tell neighbors you're practicing for your cruise.

addy November 15th, 2011 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 61maris61 (Post 1400612)
Also taken from SHIP HAPPENS by M J Kikker:

WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS WHILE WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT CRUISE:

1. When someone says, “Have a nice day!”, tell them you have other plans
2. Drive to work in reverse
3. Write a short story using Alphabet Soup
4. Make up a language and ask people for directions
5. Go grocery shopping. Sneak items no one would usually buy into other’s people’s carts
6. Dance naked in front of your pets
7. If you have a toddler, dress him/her in clothes backwards before sending them off to pre-school or day care
8. Call up your local pizza place, ask for toppings they won’t possibly have (elephant ear, chocolate covered grasshoppers, zebra stripes). See how many you can ask for before they hang up on you.
9. Buy one of those horsey things on a stick and run around your neighborhood shouting, “THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!”
10. Buy an inflatable boat, have dinner in it on your front lawn, and tell neighbors you're practicing for your cruise.

:)))) will give a try :)

Lakers Fan April 19th, 2012 07:01 PM

10 reasons why you love to post on Cruisemates:

10 )Friendly people

9)People live all over the globe

8) Interesting topics

7) Interesting responses

6) You can type in different colors

5) Nobody has to know your true identity

4) Sufficient room to type as much as you desire

3) David Letterman is not here

2) Board is open 24/7

The #1 reason you like to post here is :

KellyKayden April 25th, 2012 07:53 AM

Because my facebook and twitter are Getting too crowded!....oh, and keeping in tough with great people :D

Lakers Fan April 25th, 2012 09:27 AM

I'm not into social networking ,although nearly all my friends and relatives are.

KellyKayden April 25th, 2012 11:11 AM

I do like twitter. Mainly because I have friends who live all ove the country and its like you can have a little chat with them all through the workday. Its a good place to vent...and you can choose who 'hears' it or not....lol

Lakers Fan April 25th, 2012 01:09 PM

If you and a friend happen to be on line at the same time you can e-mail chat which is something I often do.

earl April 30th, 2012 08:18 PM

All good ones


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