I think people have a warped idea of anyone who is handicapped. I dated a fellow who just happened to be a paraplegic - wonderful guy - I actually had people come up to me and ask me real personal questions like - Can he still have sex? I always laughed and said I was a "manual control" just like his car. That seemed to shut them up. He had had an accident several years before I met him - but no damage mentally. Often in a restaurant the waitress would ask me what "he" wanted and people would actually talk louder to him than normal - guess if you're in a wheelchair that makes you hard of hearing as well, lol. I think we need to educate - start in school - teaching kids about others that are slightly different - not lesser human beings - just different. Norma I hope you and your family have a wonderful time - it sounds like you manage to make the best of everything. We lost our daughter at 17 to Muscular Dystrophy - she was my step actually - but I raised her from the time she was nine. She had a rough time of it but kept her sense of humor in spite of other people's jibes and stares. Give your dear son a hug for me, and enjoy every minute of your time with him. Bless You - Jenifer
Jennifer - again thank you...I WISH there were more people in the world like you. My son is absolutely the best....i wish you all could meet him and see what wonderful people the handicapped really are..he is so looking forward to this cruise and I hope no one makes him feel uncomfortable as I would be someone to reckon with....I havent been a union rep for the last 23 years for nothin!!
I have a question. I have never shyed away from handicap people especially since one of my closest freinds had a serious head trauma and has had her life changed for ever.
Here is my question, sometime the challenged individual has problems speaking clearly. Is it disrespectful to ask the companion(if there is one) to "interpret" for me? This would only be requested after several failed attempts, on my part, to decifer what the person is saying. I believe it would be much more disrespectful to simply nod my head as if I understand, on the other hand it feels wrong to shift my attention from the challenged person to their companion.
Royale 5/85; Oceanic 7/85, 5/86, 5/89
Veracruz 7/88; Fantasy 7/97;
Tropicale 6/98; Sov. Seas 6/99;
Sensation 5/03, 5/04; Glory 9/03,Triumph 9/04; Pride 3/05
I have read this thread and feel the need to remind some of you that peorsons with DD or any other disabilities are not neccesarily the " happiest kindest people on the earth" ALL the time. They ARE just like us, they have good days and bad days, they CAN be grumpy, and they do get sad and tired.
The problem lies with the assumption that when they are not "happy / perfect" that is because they are DD/ diabled / MR instead of THEY are human beings!
I worked with kids with DD for serveral years and my son has a severe LD plus some other issues, so although I realize that you mean well, it is not right to generalize that " all handicapped/ diabled persons are always nice/ happy/ loving/ etc. They are just like us!
As to what another posted commented on, I have to agree, I have never seen anyone really rude ( openly) about any of my charges( when I took the kids out) , but I suppose it depends on how open the community you live in is .
Ours schools are fully intergrated,so the kids learn young about persons with disabilities.
I also always openly and honestly explained things to my kids when they were young and would ask/ say brutally honest questions after seeing a person in a wheelchair or a person who was MR or DD. Many parents make the MISTAKE o f" shussing" thier kids" you know, the ones who say " don't stare" but then don't EXPLAIN to the kids about DD or MR.
Education is the key to helping others understand about those with any differences. Plus of course ALWAYS point out the things that are the SAME! We all have feelings!!
My uncle has a learning disability with a speech impediment and my husband doesn't always understand him either. He just looks over to me to interpret for him. And my uncle understands that even when he tries to speak slower or more clear that sometimes people still can't understand what he's saying. It doesn't bother him that my DH asks me, he'd much rather that my DH and he could talk about the 49er's and Raiders instead of my DH just nodding his head as if her understood.
My grandmother founded a non-profit organization that assists LD adults with their day to day life (meds, work, check book balancing, shopping, etc.) They are mostly adults with low key autism or various degrees of asperger's.
My sister also works there; she says that most days it's like running a Middle School. You have fights, drama, gossip, relationships, break-ups. They are great people and have their own day to day life, it's just on a different level than our's and sometimes more entertaining.
If I EVER heard someone saying something bad about these people I would go off. There are times when my uncle takes us out to dinner and as we are having a conversation people turn to look because you can hear the strange tone of his voice. I just ignore them and pretend I don't even notice them turning their heads.
Cruznut, I feel bad that you had to deal with this small group of idiots. It's a shame that people have to try to make themselves look better. What they don't know is that they made themselves look worse. guess the joke's on them.
I was once in Burdines in line waiting to pay. Then a woman in a wheelchair gets in front of the line because it is the law and is entitled to get in front of the line and not have to wait . Then this super rude woman screams out "Why is she getting in front of everyone?" Several of us in line explained. Then the rude woman yells "I should be handicapped so that I can skip everyone in line." After the woman in the wheelchair left, I couldn't control myself and told the rude woman that she should be more considerate of others and the I told her, "Why don't you let me run you over with my car so that you can skip everyone in line?"
Grymbrat, is that a State law? We don't have that here, and quite frankly I don't see the purpose of it. We have " wheel chair friendly" check outs, they are wider and lower, but they still have to take their turn.
Oh yes, I would give my spot up in a line for a woman( or man) who is stuck with a crying child or a couple of toddlers in a flash. I always remember when my kids were young, I REALLY apprieciated any one who gave me a break!( and I haven't forgotten to " pay it back")
This might offend someone, but I don't favor that sort of handicap preference law. Where it means the difference between having access or not, then yes, I can see the need for laws to protect an individual's rights. But to say that having a wheelchair entitles someone to take cuts in line doesn't seem fair. Many people, myself included, would voluntarily let someone with difficulty waiting in line go first as a matter of courtesy. When it becomes codified in law, however, it's likely to incur resentment about special privilege. This is where I think special interest groups and lobbyists may be doing a disservice to their constituents. If courtesy becomes just a matter of law, discourtesy will prevail when there is no law.
tr: There is a lot of merit in what you say. Accommodation was so hard to achieve, that it should never be abused. Accommodation should always speak directly to bridging the gap between the handicap and mainstream capability.
This was an issue at WDW for a while: People learned that if they simply rented a wheelchair, they'd get put to the front of all the queues. WDW was forced to employ a very specific mainstreaming policy, where accommodation was provided, and in spades, but only to bridge the gap, no more. So they took away the advantage people gained from lying about being handicapped. Handicapped folks wait just as long as everyone, because there is nothing about being handicapped that necessitates a shorter wait in queue. All that is needed is to facilitate being able to easily navigate the queue in a wheelchair.
I believe I would've said something like that myself if I would've heard that "rude" remark...it's amazing to me "still" how rude people can be....It looks to me like their parents didn't do a very good job with them.
I have heard people making groaning noises and mocking those who have mental disorders. That is really just unbelivable. People should be more considerate of those who are different than themselves. But, in the long run, it will hurt them, since people hearing that will remember the mocker as being an idiot. And, if you say something to the rude individuals, they will remember their wrongdoing for a lot longer. Serves them right. Mentally or physical disabilities are not as bad as the trueset disability of all: an unfeeling, insensitive soul that builds up a wall so one cannot live life to the utmost extent. Who laughs at another should laugh at himself. Sorry, I just have the coldest dislike for those people.
I can't believe you actually said that out loud. I have wondered about that a few times myself. Unless there is another problem such as a short attention span, or another impairment, I have never been able to figure out why being in a wheelchair requires access to the front of the line except to board a plane. My mother is now confined to a wheelchair and I feel sorry about that everyday of my life but when we are in line somewhere for any length of time, she is the one that's most comfortable and doesn't hesitate to tell us so.
As far as rude comments about the MC, there is no reason except ignorance. On our last cruise I noticed a couple with a MC daughter playing the slots. The daughter had just won and was laughing with delight. I went over to congratulate her and wished her continued luck. I saw them the next day and asked her how she came out in the end. She remembered me and we exchanged names and talked about the cruise. Thruout that cruise, whenever they saw me or I saw them, we always stopped and talked. They stopped me one day as I was passing thru the Cova Cafe as they were sitting waiting for Trivia. They wanted me to be part of their table and I insisted that I was horrible at trivia but I would like to sit down with them to wait for my husband who loved trivia. We talked as I kept a lookout for my husband. Sara kept insisting that I was waiting for my father and he had a mustache. Her wonderful parents would assure her that no, I was waiting for my husband. Sure enough, my husband walked in and Sara said "there he is". Obviously she had at some point seen us together and associated a mustache with a father figure. I thought that was amazing.
Sara's parents took that cruise obviously catering to her and not caring about their own social life because I never saw anyone with them at any time. Obviously they put their daughter ahead of all others. We enjoyed out time with them immensly.
jphc - love the "idiot catapult" idea! There should be one in every school lol. My daughter had md (we lost her in 2002). On sports day she was allowed special priviledges so she could compete in her wheelchair - like placing a ball in her lap rather than running with it. I could not believe my ears when other children said it was unfair and that she was so "lucky" to be able to do things her way. When their parents appeared oblivious to their children I took a group aside and asked them if they would trade those few moments of "lucky' for never being able to walk or go to the bathroom by themselves. After that they actually cheered her on. How can the next generation be any better than the last if the parents don't bother to try? Bring on the catapult. TTFN Jennifer
Just because a person "looks" normal does not mean they have some type of handicap. It could be a mental problem, (though that doesn't get you a handicap placard), or could be ones heart, or other problems. I have a handicap sign and don't use it often but there are days I will because of pain in the back, neck, or legs. I "look" normal but the disability is there.
As far as how you treat disabled people, I threat them just as I do anyone else. I do not show pity as that is the last thing I would want in those shoes. For those that have mental problems, you show kindness and friendship and understanding. They are people first, not unfortunate creatures, and handicapped secondly.
My daughter is a Youth counsellor with Princess. We have a Downs Syndrome Chris in our family. He is the most socially intergrated , the most arrogant, metro -sexual you will ever meet, and everyone who has ever had the opportubity to meet him has had their life enriched
" Metro sexual is someone who is very concerned about thier looks, their dress, the need to be wearing current in- fashion clothing." He gets regular manicures, pedicures( and oh, he's diabetic), He gets his eyebrows waxed (as he normally has 1,) and will not hang around anyone else "Special" as he says.
He parties with the big boys as he says. My son is Coors Light rep, and responsible for setting up the Coors Light /Maxim model search for the Maxim magazine. Chris was at most of these events and goes everywere with him. Our son feels that everyone who meets Chris is far more fortunate then anyone chris meets...... He's also 35 and weighs 230 lb. and sees himself as Tom Cruise in the mirror. What a hoot !!
He went on 2 trips last year, Jamaica, and Mexico, and toured the Princess with our daughter and the rest of our family,( that was prearranged way in advance), to name only a few. We have always taken him every were with us. Fine dining, 5 star resorts, he has had personal invites to in the Detroit Red Wings dressing room, etc. / sat on numrous teams bences as Someone important.
We should all be so lucky to have his life style. When we say prayers ,he prays for new family babies to be Downes (as he says). He just assumes everyone is as speical as he is.
I only pray that someday the general public will not LABEL, and say "those people" or "them" etc. . I love Chris's own words "special" as we all are in the eyes of God.
Anyway,as Youth staff she always has a soft spot for anyone needing extra help, and will always go the extra mile or 2,or 3 when needed to ensure everyone's dignity, respect, and the highest quality of life are met at all times, regardless of condition. She was very happy to say that all the Princess staff that she has worked with, shared the same philosiphy. However there were times when she had to lead the way.
i just wanted to say that my daughter has made a huge difference in the lives of families that needed it. And I'm proud of her.
I know how important it is for families on vacation to know that thier son or daughter is happy , safe and in a loving and nurturing evironment.
flo - let's give credit where credit is due. Your son has done so well because he obviously had some great parents. Not enough can be said about your raising him to have the kind of self-repect he has. Great job on your daughter as well - you should be very proud. TTFN Jennifer
My late husband (years) had handicap plates due to diabetic complications in his feet and legs. Last year a woman at work asked me when I was going to turn in the plates. I just told her when the state asks. Frankly, it is NONE of her business. I DO NOT use them for myself. As it happens my dad is 87, has congestive heart failure at varying levels, back, leg, ankle and foot problems. Since I live and work the closest to him I generally do the Dr. appts and any family event driving. His Dr. has signed for the renewal of my handicap plates.