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Old October 11th, 2006, 10:18 PM
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Default People Who Are So Uptight

We are all so different, but yet we are just alike. Sounds funny doesn't it. Why is it, that we can't agree to disagree on things? Why is it, when people post sometimes, they get there heads chewed off? Example is people asking questions about cruising with kids during "school time" It was not about cruising with kids, but something entirely, but she happened to mention her kids, and some people jumped.

There is another site out there, where you really have to be careful of what you say, because they will tear you apart. We never want to be like that. This is a very friendly place, and we are here to help those who come along, and those who have come to us, and hurt feelings, don"t last long.

Life is difficult as it is. I hate to sound 60's but some people need to lighten up.

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Old October 12th, 2006, 01:40 AM
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Why is it, when people post sometimes, they get there heads chewed off?
A lot of times it has to do with the interpretation of what "having their heads chewed off" is.

I think the fact is no one's reaction is generally as bad as what people read into it. The fact that they disagree at all shouldn't be interpreted as being mean or rude.

The big thing on Internet message board is that it's a two dimensional world, and can be much more difficult to "see" what people are really saying, if you can't see and hear them.

While it's not a place for people to get overly sensitive to reactions of what people say, it can also be a great place for sensitive people to say what they really feel. They simply have to be ready and willing to hear people disagree.

There are far few personal attacks, and "jumping down people's throats" than people make it out to be. I know because the numbers of posts we delete on these boards for that sort of thing is MINISCULE compared to the thousands of posts we read.

Just as in real life, on occassion friends and family argue, and sometimes even have heated arguements. And most of the time those arguements don't end the relationship.

The arguement ends you move on, and get back to life and friendships.
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Old October 12th, 2006, 06:59 AM
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Default Re: People Who Are So Uptight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luanne Russo
We are all so different, but yet we are just alike. Sounds funny doesn't it. Why is it, that we can't agree to disagree on things? Why is it, when people post sometimes, they get there heads chewed off? Example is people asking questions about cruising with kids during "school time" It was not about cruising with kids, but something entirely, but she happened to mention her kids, and some people jumped.

There is another site out there, where you really have to be careful of what you say, because they will tear you apart. We never want to be like that. This is a very friendly place, and we are here to help those who come along, and those who have come to us, and hurt feelings, don"t last long.

Life is difficult as it is. I hate to sound 60's but some people need to lighten up.

Luanne
Ok Luanne beware!! I am jumping all over you and tearing you apart

I think some people are way too sensitive about what is posted in response to their posts. Even the slightest disagreement seems to be interpreted as getting "torn up" and therefore results in hurt feelings. If you post an opinion be prepared for disagreement, especially if it is contriversal. To quote a somewhat famous President "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen."

Oh yeah and here is the fire extinguisher to put the flames out!!!!

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Old October 12th, 2006, 01:33 PM
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What a great post Kuki...nice one
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Old October 12th, 2006, 07:41 PM
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Old October 12th, 2006, 08:02 PM
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Hit the little red exclamation mark (!) in the top right hand corner of a post, Seattle and report it to the administrators.

They are good about dealing with this stuff quickly.

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Old October 12th, 2006, 08:03 PM
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Doug, I am not talking about me. I have gotten use to over this last year. I have learned to laugh at some of the stupid things people say. What I am talking about is newbie's (2) posts they have made, who are slammed. Not here, not on Chit chat, but on the Carnival Board. It is discusting, and should be stopped. WE advertize being a friendly site, but that is not friendly. I am not as hurt as they are, but then again, I post now to help, and not to learn anything. There is a big difference. Cruisemates does not need me, but they do need new blood, otherwise we would have to talk to each other about cruising, and that would make the numbers go down, wouldn't it Kuki. I also didn't post this for Cruisemates to do something about it. I am not sure what they could do, But I would like to see some self control with those who post.

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Old October 12th, 2006, 08:03 PM
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Kuki-So does that mean if the hosts see a reply that is outright rude, offensive, disrespectful, etc. then it will be deleted? I have learned not to respond to hostile and inciteful replies, but what happens next? What is the proper protocol to follow?
Yes, offensive posts will be deleted by the monitors.

If you find a questionable post on the top right of the message board there's a !. Click on that to report the post to monitors.
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Old October 12th, 2006, 09:39 PM
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Some people ARE very sensitive, and if you don't agree with them...they feel hurt and offended.

I've posted messages and had people REALLY disagree with my opinion. But that's O.K...after all it's just my opinion...and they're entitled too. I don't expect everyone to agree with me...When I post, I'm prepared for Fun and a lively discussion! Sometimes very lively

There's also been a couple of times that I've read some mild opposing comment to a post that is then interpreted as hostile, mean and rude. Even when I've gone back to re-read see what the offense was I couldn't figure it out.

I totally agree with Kuki's post's. Have fun...don't take things so seriously. If you offer an opinion...remember it's just that...your opinion...not canon! There are some people who get paid for their opinions,(Doctors, Lawyers, etc.) and we give ours away for FREE!
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Old October 12th, 2006, 10:20 PM
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Let me see if I understand what ever one seems to be agreeing with. A new poster comes to Cruisemates. They ask a simple question, and because they mentioned that they take there kids on vacation, they can and will be jumped on. That is one example. The other was a lady who was elderly. She posted in CAPS. She did not know any better. I have not heard from her since. Okay, I guess I understand how it goes.
I was just asking for nice. Nice people making nice conversation, and being helpful, let's not forget that. What is the saying, "You get more with sugar, than with Vinegar. There's enough Vinegar on here to toss a good size salad.


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Old October 13th, 2006, 12:46 AM
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Old October 13th, 2006, 02:30 AM
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Seattle Guy - very insightful, and all the rest you including Luanne.

As the head cheese here, I always want to watch out for the new poster, and give them the benfit of the doubt and never jump on them. They don't know what's already been said, or if a question has been asked 1000 times. The point is that they are here, trying to commnicate ideas, yet often, people respond to the way they wrote it, or some small off-topic aspect in their note that has nothing to do with the topic they were going trying to address.

THEN I STAND UP and say, "LEAVETH THE NEWBIE BE" I SAY never jump on them, accuse them of trolling, or anything else. They are excited, maybe confused or irate.

Listen calmy, try to hear what the issue is, and respond to that. That takes real patience and maturity.

It is simple in life to go around looking for people to pick fights with. "i'm not going to talk to you because you sound like you are from someplece else" or "you insulted me, so therefore I do not have to think about your problem."

It is much harder to take the high road and try to treat everyone with respect. It requires more thought and effort than just being a reactionary porcpine.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 09:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seattleguy37
My first "Lido Dining" post was meant to explore the downside of dining in the Lido but I also saw it as a thread that could have eventually offered helpful information about a restaurant that is often thought of, again, from my perspective, as the underdog of the ship. But it was poorly written and someone was offended and ripped me a new one and now continue to hold a grudge judging from their response to my new, better written "Lido Dining" thread.
Buzz
You might want to stop playing the victim. Several of us saw your complaint about wheelchairs getting in your way in the Lido and when one poster, who's husband is disabled and in a power chair, said she had no idea that he might be inconveniencing people your reply was:
"yes, lady, it did inconvenience me".
It was your insensitivity that caused the firestorm that got the thread pulled. I also notice that she hasn't been posting this week so she may have left for friendlier and more accepting waters.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorothy
Hit the little red exclamation mark (!) in the top right hand corner of a post, Seattle and report it to the administrators.



dorothy
So, the red mark here is comparable to the dreaded "triangle" on one of the other mega-cruise boards?
I used to be a member of CruiseMates many years ago, and recently rejoined. I ask this with all due respect and seriousness.....but is the censorship here as strict here as it is over there? That's one of the reasons I don't post there much, is because the Mods over there seem to pull & delete posts at warp speed.
I like to belong to several different crusie boards, as they all are different & have a different feel. I just like to be able to have open conversations without worrying if my posts will be pulled. I am not a big fan of censorship, as you can probably tell! !!!!
And yes, sometimes threads can get "heated", but sometimes regular, everyday conversations can get heated, too, and that's OK. If we all agreed with each other all the time, things woould get pretty boring, imho.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catnip
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorothy
Hit the little red exclamation mark (!) in the top right hand corner of a post, Seattle and report it to the administrators.



dorothy
So, the red mark here is comparable to the dreaded "triangle" on one of the other mega-cruise boards?
I used to be a member of CruiseMates many years ago, and recently rejoined. I ask this with all due respect and seriousness.....but is the censorship here as strict here as it is over there? That's one of the reasons I don't post there much, is because the Mods over there seem to pull & delete posts at warp speed.
I like to belong to several different crusie boards, as they all are different & have a different feel. I just like to be able to have open conversations without worrying if my posts will be pulled. I am not a big fan of censorship, as you can probably tell! !!!!
And yes, sometimes threads can get "heated", but sometimes regular, everyday conversations can get heated, too, and that's OK. If we all agreed with each other all the time, things woould get pretty boring, imho.
Hi Catnip,
I've only been a member here since May but I find the moderators here to be MUCH more fair than *that other place*. I left that place because, like you said, they seem to delete posts on a whim, and they definitely play favorites. They will allow one of the *regulars* to attack someone but delete the response from the other person. I visit there rarely and am amazed at the unfriendly tone that pervades that place. Except for a few, rare occasions I have found the people here at CM to be much more accepting and the moderators will allow a discussion to actually happen, unless it gets really ugly. I've also noticed other *escapees* from that other place here, so it's not just you and me that feel this way.
Des
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Old October 13th, 2006, 10:58 AM
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Hi Des,
Thank you for your kind words. I just want to be able to feel comfortable and not have to worry and look over my shoulder all the time! I'm sure you understand. Now, there are some people that don't mind the high-handed censorship of "other places", but I find it way over the top.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 11:36 AM
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No problem, Catnip

BTW, I love your tagline....(spoken by someone who has rescued 7 cats and 2 dogs...)
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Old October 13th, 2006, 11:40 AM
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Old October 13th, 2006, 11:41 AM
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Yeah, I'm a cat rescuer, too! I have 4 of my own, am currently feeding 4 neighborhood strays and a colony of feral cats behind a local grocery store. I am planning to trap the strays and as many of the ferals as I can and get them fixed and then re-release them.
Too many pets, not enough homes!
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Old October 13th, 2006, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catnip
Yeah, I'm a cat rescuer, too! I have 4 of my own, am currently feeding 4 neighborhood strays and a colony of feral cats behind a local grocery store. I am planning to trap the strays and as many of the ferals as I can and get them fixed and then re-release them.
Too many pets, not enough homes!
Good job! We're also feeding 2 ferals. We captured a pregnant female a few weeks ago (she was pretty friendly) and I placed her with a no-kill shelter. She had 5 babies 3 days later and they will all be fixed, microchipped and adopted when the babies are 8 weeks old.

I know we've taken this off topic but I wanted to commend you for calling attention to this problem with your tagline!
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Old October 13th, 2006, 12:32 PM
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Old October 13th, 2006, 03:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seattleguy37
I was the one that pulled the first Lido Dining thread, not Cruisemates.

But I don't have time for all this "demonic" noise. I don't think I'm ever going to get a fair deal here with this ****breaker thats got it in for me. I'm leaving and I will be rejoining cruisemates under another identity from an anonymous city. I'm more of a lurker anyway and have given out little personal info, it won't be difficult. I might even check out *that other place* that deletes demon-like posts on a whim.

Happy cruising everyone and I wish you good health and prosperity, well, most of you anyway....
You've just got to learn to play 'nice'. You really can't hide because your personality will come through your post anyway.

But...if you play nice you won't have to hide!
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Old October 13th, 2006, 04:09 PM
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Its like de javu, been there seen it, been part of it for all the right and the wrong reasons, and thats why I am swabbing the decks right now.

I think I still hold the record for the number of posts on GRIPES, but what did that get me and all my opinions when dealing with some of the antagonists or S* stirrers then..... and those I see now...banned from the site.

So some of you want to take a reality check in how you deal with people and in how you react, take it personal and go for the jugliar, your doomed.

Ignore the fact that this is a newbie you are talking to and go for them, you're an idiot.

GRIPES maybe what you think is a venting forum, but it aint, as it is here to give constructure reaction to the problems other cruiser's have experienced. Take it from one who knows, and before a poster jumps on my back and tells me again "this is all about you"...Its not, but you maybe want to rethink your approach and tone in dealing with people and conversation. Before "they" decide enough is enough and you are gone....
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Old October 13th, 2006, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
but is the censorship here as strict here as it is over there? That's one of the reasons I don't post there much, is because the Mods over there seem to pull & delete posts at warp speed
I think most people would be shocked to see how SMALL the numbers are for posts that are deleted. We have a folder that all deleted posts go into (other than pure spam), where we can go back to review the posts to reevalute if the decision to delete them was the correct one.

And the number of posts in that "deleted folder" is less per week than the fingers on one hand.

Everyone is free to discuss and disagree, even vehemently, as long as it's done respectfully.

And frankly, after YEARS of doing this, we feel we have a pretty good handle judging which posts cross the line. Infallible? NOPE! We all make mistakes, but if we review them, and find a mistake, we're ready to admit it.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuki

Everyone is free to discuss and disagree, even vehemently, as long as it's done respectfully.

And frankly, after YEARS of doing this, we feel we have a pretty good handle judging which posts cross the line. Infallible? NOPE! We all make mistakes, but if we review them, and find a mistake, we're ready to admit it.
Thanks for your response. That makes me feel better, because I like open & honest discussions without having to worry if the Mods will dislike what I'm saying and pull my post. There's nothing wrong with a good, lively debate...even if things become heated.
THere are other boards that will never admit a mistake! !!!
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Old October 13th, 2006, 06:14 PM
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Once again, I speak up for the newbies, because one thing that worries me a great deal is when a small group of regular posters start to think a message boards belongs to them and that it is now their exclusive club and "certain people" are not allowed.

I mean, doesn't that sound anachronistic and unreal? like the days when Blacks & Jews were excluded from clubs. Well, I have seen message boards that treat newcomers like they have to "qualify" to be accepted. And if they don't like a newbie for whatever reason, they DO gang up on them, very subtly provoking them. I think they do it not so much because they want the poster to go away, but because it gives them a little charge of excitement to be one of the "elite" insiders who can poke a stick at the outsiders and get away with it, because it is an "in" joke for "the gang" at the expense of the outsider.

So, I KNOW newbies often say the wrong thing. They often seek out a new board when they are fired up about something and want to get it off their chests. Then someone responds in exactly the wrong manner (instead of sympathy, apathy and acrimony)- and a war starts.

And I know that when that happens regular posters often refuse to forgive & forget, bringing up the "infraction" time & again as if it just happened.

When we started this board - we decided we censor message only by law, like a real democracy. Favoritism has nothing to do with it. We have a code of condust whereby we judge what posts to censor. We take our knocks from our regulars, and sometimes we lose very valued members because we won't ban someone they don't like. But we only ban if they break the rules. And even if they do break them, we will often give them probationary parole.

Now to newbies, one does have to be careful about how you come across. Things can be misread. But to the regulars I say, "PLEASE, if someone apologizes and says they didn't mean it the way it sounded then don't bring it up again and again." Putting words in someone's mouth is actually a very hurtful thing to do. And by this I mean saying "We'll you said it, so you must think it whether you say you "meant it" or not."

It isn't fair to people to tell them how they think. Tell them how you perceive them, and if they say your perception is wrong then give them the benefit of the doubt.

Not everyone likes everyone else. But we are not here to discuss that. We are here to discuss our lifestyle and why it works for us personally, not whether you are wrong because you don't see it the same way I do.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 07:53 PM
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Well said Paul, unless it was about me, then how dare you.
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Old October 13th, 2006, 09:35 PM
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Paul Motter wrote:

Quote:
Seattle Guy - very insightful, and all the rest you including Luanne.
Paul are you insinuating this is the first time Luanne has been inciteful?

Just cause she has diarrhea of the mouth and is from Texas, doesn't mean she takes the short bus to school! I mean it might and probably does, but let's give her the benefit of the doubt! I mean we are talking Walmart country here!

(No offense to people who take short buses to school or have diarrhea of the mouth or are from Tex..... wait forget the last one) Go Mets!!
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Old October 13th, 2006, 09:38 PM
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Joe is teasing me guys. Please don't take offence. Joey, Joey!!! Are trying to cause trouble?
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Old October 13th, 2006, 09:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luanne Russo
Joe is teasing me guys. Please don't take offence. Joey, Joey!!! Are trying to cause trouble?
Are you kidding!!!! the last time that happened Kuki and Mike showed up at my door wearing shark skin suits, driving a big black lincoln and I could here the theme to the Godfather in the backround. Then threatening that I took sides against the family. Remember Jimmy Hoffa? That has Kuki and Mike written all over it!
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